Jokes

[Iron_Scarecrow]

I believe stickdeath.com is better. Never been to rotten so I'm not sure if you can compare the two. Haven't been to stickdeath for a long time either so I'm not sure if its still up.

[TheVoid]

Well, maybe in the same time you're connected and posting, you could as well type on your browser "www.stickdeath.com"? :huh:



I just checked, it's still up ;)

[Havell]

www.bloodburn.com is a FUNNY site, it has videos of skateboards snapping and the riders hitting the rail with their nuts and fat people falling over :lol:

[Iron_Scarecrow]

Originally posted by TheVoid@Oct 12 2004, 04:02 PM
Well, maybe in the same time you're connected and posting, you could as well type on your browser "www.stickdeath.com"? :huh:



I just checked, it's still up ;)
Yeah I just checked as well. It's got all new stuff too, I'm excited.

[Havell]

Damn I just went on that stickdeath site and it's brilliant! Thanks!

[Iron_Scarecrow]

No problem mate.

Anyway back to jokes. I heard two really stupid ones on my holiday.

What did the fly say after he went splat on the window: I'd do it again if I had the guts.

Why didn't the skeleton go to the party: He didn't have the guts.

Now you can't get much worse than that.

[aaberg]

If you like those fucked up splatter sites, you should check out www.happytreefriends.com as well. :sneaky:

[Puffin]

Happy Tree Friends are SO COOL!!!
Me and my friend were thinking about buying their DVD, but we still haven't... wonder why we haven't.... :huh:

BTW, the song in the intro of each episode, the cheery song, is really cool. My friend I mentioned before, has it on her voicemail on her phone :P

[Unknown Hero]

Happy tree friends rulez!!!!! Best cartoons ever! My frined showed me few cartoons and I laughted one hour. Also I had some Alphabet joke, but I'm not sure if I will ever get it back (don't know to who I lend it).
If you want to see really nude pics, then take a look at this! I'm giving you STRIPTEASE! :D Enjoy!

[Maikel]

Still hairy :whistle:

[Iron_Scarecrow]

Go here (http://www.weebls-stuff.com/toons/). There are a whole bunch of cartoons. I have only watched salad fingers 1 and salad fingers 4 and they were absolutly hilarious. Check them out.

[wormpaul]

:bleh: :bleh: :bleh: :bleh: :P :P :P :D :D :D

I keep laughing at this site..plz give me more of this :twisted: :twisted:

[Iron_Scarecrow]

Sorry I don't know any more.

[FreeFreddy]

But I do. :sneaky:
Mad laughing cat (http://www.funnyjunk.com/pages/cat.htm)

[aaberg]

Wow, that cat is ANNOYING :tease: :blow:

[FreeFreddy]

Well, here you have a weird cat. LOL
If any of you know "We like tha Moon", you'll find this one pretty similar. ;)
Ice cream (http://www.funnyjunk.com/pages/ice_cream.htm)

[wormpaul]

hahahha..

Love to sing with those funny cats :Brain: :Brain: :Brain: :Brain:

[Dream]

Well this one is rather childish but...

Two fishes swim in Atlantics.
Suddenly the great shadow covered them.
First fish: What a shadow! What can it be?
Second one: That's the bottom of "Queen Elizabeth".
First fish: God, save the king!

[Unknown Hero]

Indeed, it's pretty fun and no childish at all! :[img]http://www.abandonia.com/forum/html/emoticons/laugh.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='laugh.gif' />

[Eagle of Fire]

For a good laugh: Clickety click. (http://www.xs4all.nl/~jcdverha/scijokes/2_21.html)

[Iron_Scarecrow]

Originally posted by FreeFreddy@Oct 14 2004, 02:01 PM
But I do. :sneaky:
Mad laughing cat (http://www.funnyjunk.com/pages/cat.htm)
Well that was the worst laughing I ever heard, but the cat was cute though.

[Red Diablo]

This cat is NOT laughing... (http://www.manzonderkop.be/Post/?P_ID=6008)

:blink:

[aaberg]

A cat raped by a rabbid!?, or whatever it does :blow: OMG

Crazy


:pimp:

[Iron_Scarecrow]

How can you tell when a lawyer is lying: See if his/her lips are moving.

What happened when 24 lawyers were kidnapped: He threatened to let one out every hour until his demands were met.

I think we all know where they came from :D

[Iron_Scarecrow]

A husband said to his wife, "I will take a photo of your breasts and frame it ."
The wife said to her husband, "I will take a photo of your penis and enlarge it." LOL LOL LOL

Why did Bill Clinton cross the road?
Beause his penis was stuck in the chicken! LOL LOL LOL

[Iron_Scarecrow]

A guy goes into a bar, orders twelve shots and starts drinking them as fast as he can.
The bartender says, "Dang, why are you drinking so fast?"
The guy says, "You would be drinking fast if you had what I had."
The bartender says, "What do you have?"
The guy says, "75 cents."
LOL LOL LOL

[Kent Paynter]

A Swedish sergeant talked to the soldiers.
It's been three weeks since we last time changed our underwear,
so Svensson changes with Andersson, Karlsson changes with Fredriksson...

Aren't those swedes funny :bleh:

[Prox]

One day, in a mental facility, a nut was 'walking' a tin can he cald Fifi down a corridor, when a psychaitrist asks him:
-So, how are you and Fifi doing today?
-You moron, can't xou see tis is just tin can!
So the psychaitrist walks away thinking the nut finally came to his sensess. A couple of seconds later the nut says:
-Hey Fifi, we fooled hem, didn't we? Yes we did! Yes we did!

[Stroggy]

A mathematician, an accountant and an economist apply for the same job.

The interviewer calls in the mathematician and asks "What do two plus two equal?" The mathematician replies "Four." The interviewer asks "Four, exactly?" The mathematician looks at the interviewer incredulously and says "Yes, four, exactly."

Then the interviewer calls in the accountant and asks the same question "What do two plus two equal?" The accountant says "On average, four - give or take ten percent, but on average, four."

Then the interviewer calls in the economist and poses the same question "What do two plus two equal?" The economist gets up, locks the door, closes the shade, sits down next to the interviewer and says "What do you want it to equal?"

[aaberg]

:tease: |:blow:|

[Yamcha]

Osama went to Pisa in ItalyHe looked the tower of Pisa and said "amateurs"

[Iron_Scarecrow]

Ahahahahaha

[FreeFreddy]

I hope there aren't many Pokemon fans around here... :tomato:

http://vale.g.bei.t-online.de/Smilies/TokeMon.jpg

[FreeFreddy]

You know, I never realised how weird some Austrian villages may be... :blink:

http://vale.g.bei.t-online.de/GeileBilder/austrian-village.jpg

[FreeFreddy]

I'm feeling little crazy today, so here's another one:

http://vale.g.bei.t-online.de/GeileBilder/schlimmer.jpg

The words on the picture mean:
If anything goes wrong... think that it could have been even worse!!!

[Tom Henrik]

Those two posts are the best sofar, man. Keep 'em coming! :w00t:

[FreeFreddy]

Here you are. You have that nice imagined picture of Dutch woman and their cool cheese? Then here's the perfect picture of how our time can corrupt anything. :ph34r:

http://vale.g.bei.t-online.de/GeileBilder/kaputt.jpg

[Sebatianos]

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D
You're all killing me!
By the way, I bet you haven't heard this one yet (it's one of my very own jokes).
A centopede comes home from the school dance in tears.
Her mother asks what's wrong.
A beatle told me I have two left feet.
So, we can't all be good dancers.
It's not that! Where am I going to find 98 right shoes!!!

[FreeFreddy]

No problem, just be careful. ;)
This pic is from a LAN party I was on some time ago. As you see, there was not enough place for all. :D

[Tom Henrik]

What happens if he suddenly needs to pee?.....

I would hate to be the guy dressed in white below him :blink:

[Unknown Hero]

Did you know that thing you spoken Havell actually happened hundreds of times in Far east.

And while we are talking about cars.....
Actually we are not talking, but hey!

[Iron_Scarecrow]

Yeah I even saw a documentary on it. The counter strike thing that is. Some people just drop everything, they leave their girlfriends, quit their jobs and just play counter strike for 21 hours a day. Really I dont see a point. It isnt even that great a game, why would you give up everything to play it constantly.

They some nice cars though.

[FreeFreddy]

Originally posted by Tom Henrik@Oct 27 2004, 10:49 AM
What happens if he suddenly needs to pee?.....

I would hate to be the guy dressed in white below him :blink:
He's more to the right of the hanging dude, so no problems. :sneaky:
And well, I just wanted to test that Counterstrike out there, but I didn't like it. Was just a noob in it too. But we also played Warcraft III, Unreal Tournament 2004 and Quake 3 there, so it was interesting. :D

[Sebatianos]

This is a bit old now, but I think it's still good for a laugh!

How Osama got the idea!

[Sebatianos]

Originally posted by Omuletzu@Jul 4 2004, 08:49 PM
:[img]http://www.abandonia.com/forum/html/emoticons/laugh.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='laugh.gif' /> :[img]http://www.abandonia.com/forum/html/emoticons/laugh.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='laugh.gif' /> :[img]http://www.abandonia.com/forum/html/emoticons/laugh.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='laugh.gif' /> :[img]http://www.abandonia.com/forum/html/emoticons/laugh.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='laugh.gif' />

Hope there are no slovenians on the site :wink:
Well I am, but I don't really mind. Did you hear the one about the Croatian...

Nah, just neighbouring country humor!

[Sebatianos]

I guess no one reads these jokes any more, so I'll just try with one of my favorites and if there's no reply, give up on trying to make you bust your guts laughing!

A Rabbi rides the subway and sees a black guy reading a newspaper in jidish. He comes up to him and says: "Isn't it bad enough for you, you're black?

[wormpaul]

Originally posted by Sebatianos@Nov 1 2004, 09:10 AM
A Rabbi rides the subway and sees a black guy reading a newspaper in jidish. He comes up to him and says: "Isn't it bad enough for you, you're black?
Hmm...

Not really funny :whistle:

[Sebatianos]

Maybe:
- something is lost in the translation,
- you don't get it,
- I have a really different sence of humor.

Please chose one of the above!

[wormpaul]

something is lost in the translation,
you don't get it,

I think those 2 :help:

[Eagle of Fire]

How about "all of the above" with "it would not make it even funnier anyways" added in for a twist? ;)

[Danny252]

now for my joke... If I remember it..

One day, a blonde walked into an appliance store, and asked the shopkeeper,
"Can I buy that TV?" Pointing to it. He replied,
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes."
She walked out and put on a black wig. She came back in and asked the shopkeeper,
"Can I buy that TV?" Pointing to it. He replied,
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes."
She was confused at this, but went out and got a red wig. She came back again and asked the shopkeeper,
"Can I buy that TV?" Pointing to it. He replied,
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes."
Now she was sure somthing was up, but she got a brunette wig and tried again. She went back in She came back in and asked the shopkeeper,
"Can I buy that TV?" Pointing to it. He replied,
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes."
She was so confused, she asked,
"How do you know I'm a blonde?!"
"Coz thats a microwave, not a TV"

[Iron_Scarecrow]

Blonde jokes. I may have already posted this one but it's the only blonde joke I remember.

Two blondes are driving to Disneyland. They saw a sign that said Disneyland left. So they turned around and went home.

[Sebatianos]

I have a few blonde jokes as well:

What's the difference betweena blonde and a Porche?
You don't lend your Porche to your friends!

What's the difference betweena a monkey and a blonde?
Make-up

What does one of blode's feet says to the other one?
Hello stranger.
or
See you tonight, if nothing happens in between!

Why does a blonde have a shaved pussy?
Did you ever see grass grow on highway?

What's the difference between a blonde from the north of the US and the one from the south of the US?
The Northern blonde says: You can!
The Southern blonde says: Y'all can!

A blonde sees a sign on a streetlight saying - appartment to rent - and knocks on the light post. "Hm, why won't they ansewr, I know they're home, they have the light on!"

A blonde comes crying home from school and asks her mother:
"Do babys really come out, where the sperm went in?"
"Why yes dear!"
"Oh no! Then Tom's baby's gonna knock all my teeth out!"

Personal note:
I'd worry some blonde could find out where I live, but I know they're not smart enough (and I know this isn't true, blondes can be smart too)!

[Havell]

Three economists are out hunting, they see a deer so the first economist shoots at it, he misses, the bullet goes a metre to the left. The second economist shoots at it, he misses, the bullet goes a metre to the right The third economists says "We got the bugger!".

[Sebatianos]

An Englishman, a guy from Switzerland and a Croatian (have to get my payback for all those jokes agains Slovenes) enter an archery tournament.
The Swiss guy goes first and hits the bullseye. "I'm Villiam Tell!"
The Englishman goes next and splits the first's guy arrow. "I'm Robin Hood!"
The Croatian goes last. Misses the target completely and hits an inosent bystander strait inthe guts. "I'm sorry!"

[Iron_Scarecrow]

What did the tampons say to each other. Nothing, they were both stuck up cunts.

[Prox]

I'm not sure if you'll get this one but i'll give it a try:

Why do Slovenians play the harmonica vertically?
-So they would'nt pass the border!

[Iron_Scarecrow]

Yeah I don't get it. :crazy: :crazy: :blink: :blink:

[wormpaul]

Hmmm..

I get the Joke...

Give`s me a :D :D

[Iron_Scarecrow]

I don't even know where slovenia is. Is it small?

[Sebatianos]

Either you're really ignorant :evil: , or you just answered your own question (with a question).
Nah, don't worry. If you really don't know, check one of these sites:
Tourist (http://www.slovenia-tourism.si/intro/)
Lonely Planet (http://www.lonelyplanet.com/destinations/europe/slovenia/)
A part of Europe (which Croatia is not :) (http://europa.eu.int/comm/enlargement/slovenia/)
and many more.

But enough of these Slovene-Croatians teasing (I don't really go for that sort of thing since I'm both actually).
Let's get back to something serious - JOKES.

At a quizz show, the compatitors had to guess who was the real candidate.
So person A comes in and says: "I'm George W. Bush, the current president of the USA".
Then comes person B: "I'm president of the USA, George W. Bush."
Next comes person C: "Now wait just one darn second, if those guys are me, who the hell am I?"

[Iron_Scarecrow]

I'm not ignorant, well I can be. But I really have no idea. I'm assuming it is somewhere in Europe but I'll check those sites to find out. :D

[Sebatianos]

That ignorant part was not to be taken seriously.
Many people don't know where Slovenia is, and if you wanna know about the ignorance, well...
THIS IS NOT A JOKE (although I laugh and cry at the same time thinking of it):
Upon my visit of the South-West Texas university I heard this conversation among the students:
"I'm from Pakistan."
"Where's that?"
"You haven't heard of it?"
"No. Where is it?"
"It's right next to India?"
"You full, India is one of the states. It's where Indians live!"

Fortunately I met enough normal people later on, but to think that a university student can be this ignorat!!! :rifle: :Titan: :tomato:

[Iron_Scarecrow]

Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL
Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

[Sebatianos]

So,
Here are a few :Jesus: jokes (hope no religious fanatics here)!

Jesus was going through the desert, so he was really thursty. Then he met a hippie, and saw, he had some water in his bong.
"Can you spare some water my friend?" asked :Jesus:
"Sure can, but first sit down, and have a puff with me." answered :pimp:
So :Jesus: did. After a while, he again asked: "Can I get some water now?"
"Just wait and have another puff!"
About half an hour latter :Jesus: got angry and said: "Give me that water. Don't you know who I am? I'm :Jesus: !"
"Boy, this stuff really got you good!"

Next:

:Jesus: met an old man, who was really sad. "What happened to you, that you look so blue?" asked :Jesus:
"I lost my son!"
"I've travelled far and wide, maybe I've seen him. Can you describe him?"
The old man said: "He's easy to recognize. He has nails in his arms and legs."
:Jesus: then juped with joy and said: "Father at last I found you!!!"
And the old man said: "Pinocchio, is that really you?!?!?!"

[rainwife]

For Jesus he know me and he knows I'm right...

[Dream]

Few political jokes from end of USSR.


"What do you think of Pravda?"

"Man that's really bad newspaper, it keeps clogging up toilet all the time"


Or during glasnost period:

USA dog: "I heard it's getting better"

USSR dog: "Yeah, well dish is still empty but I can bark now"


Another one:

Czech is standing next to cliff "31 31 31 31"

Soviet soldiers comes to him "What's the matter?"

"Look down there"

soldier looks down there, czech pushes him down from the cliff

"32 32 32 32 "

[Sebatianos]

They did a survey on what's the best way to get up in the morning.
An American said: "I likeit most, if I smell my wife frying the bacon and calling me, to come down for breakfast!"
A German said: "Nah, the best way is, to smell fresh hot coffie and pastries."
A Russian said: "You guys have no idea. The best waking up is, when KGB knocks down your door at 4 a.m. in the morning drags you out of bad, and asks: 'Joseph Zelenov?' And you can reply: 'That would be two appartmants down the corridor!'"

[FreeFreddy]

LOL LOL
Yeah, that one is good. :ok:

[Sebatianos]

How funny, you use Mozilla Firebox! :bleh:

[FreeFreddy]

I tried it yesterday out, but I prefer rather the T-Online browser supplied with my internet provider. It's as comfortly as Firefox (tabbed browsing, popup blocker) and keeps all the options / internet adresses used so far / cookies and whatever yet of Internet Explorer too, which is handy.
Back to topic, here's something from me again:

Hot (http://lustich.de/download/72-5-video-3f317645/hot.mpg)
Painful (http://lustich.de/download/72-8-video-3f317645/schmerzhaft.mpg)

[Sebatianos]

Sorry freddy, those links don't open!

Anyone tried to type 'Weapons of mass destruction' in google search?
It's a bit old now, but open the first link you get!

[FreeFreddy]

Originally posted by Sebatianos@Nov 7 2004, 04:12 PM
Sorry freddy, those links don't open!
Why don't they open? For me they do, clicking on them... :eeeeeh:
Well, you can then copy the link and paste it in a new browser window. ;)

[Sebatianos]

OK, they worked this time - knew the one in the kitchen, but :cry: with pain, just thinking the other one would happen to me!

Time for more jokes!

A farmer is walking theough his apple tree plantation and saw a cow sitting on top of one of the trees.
"Hey cow, what are you doing up there?!"
'Eating cherries!'
"You fool, this is an apple tree."
'I know, I brought them with me in a bag!"



One frog junkey is hopping mad, so the other frog junky asks:
"Speed?"
'Crack!'



Two toothpicks were walking down the street and saw a hedghog.
"Hey, here's our bus!"


A rabbit wanted to run for the president of the forest.
A fox said: "Dont be silly! I won't stand for that."
"Just follow me to those bushes over there and I'll make you see it my way!"
So the fox went with the rabbit. Chrash - Boom - Kabong - Kepow...
The rabbit comes out unharmed, the fox is all beaten up!
"So, anyone else don't want me for the president?"
The wolf comes up and says: "No way am I going to stand for you Bunny!"
"Just follow me to those bushes over there and I'll make you see it my way!"
Now the wolf follows the rabit and again - Pow - Ouch - Poof - Boom...
The wolf drags him self out of the bushes half dead, and the rabbit is still not hurt.
"Anybody else wants to challenge me?"
Now a bear shows up!!!
"Yeah, anybody else got something against my candidate?"

[FreeFreddy]

I'm certainly better with funny pictures than writing jokes... :D
Anyway, here we go.
Now that's true love... :eeeeeh:

[FreeFreddy]

And here it's some unpleasant surprise! LOL

[Danny252]

Freddy! There are kids here!
Now, now, Puffin, this picture isn't what you think it is. Ooh look, a cute little bunny! Good little girl! now, time for your nap...

[Sebatianos]

Originally posted by Danny252@Nov 8 2004, 11:08 PM
There are kids here!
OK, then an inosent joke for all you kids - like Dany:

Two vampires hang arount one evening and one says, he's hungry.
So he flys away and returns in about 10 minutes - all bloody in the face!
"Now that had to be a real feast!" the other vampire says "I wanna go there and eat too."
So the first vampire takes the second one on a little trip. A few moments latter the first vampire asks: "Do you see that tree over there?"
"Yeah, what of it?"
"I didn't!" :wall:

[Danny252]

that aint funny.

this is:
http://www.coxar.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/

P.S. : Please spell my name correctly! Its just on the left of all my posts...

[Sebatianos]

Originally posted by Sebatianos@Nov 7 2004, 05:12 PM
Anyone tried to type 'Weapons of mass destruction' in google search?
It's a bit old now, but open the first link you get!
You mean something along these lines Danny?
BTW. I never said that joke would be funny, I just said it is apropriate for kids - because you had something against freddy's picture - or didn't you :sneaky:

[FreeFreddy]

Ok, some new ones. :whistle:

"I think, we have a spy in our midst..."

[FreeFreddy]

Ouch, that must hurt... :whistle:

[Red Diablo]

"Swing batter-batter swing".... :D

[Red Diablo]

In the spirit of the season:

:D :D :D

[FreeFreddy]

:blink: LOL

[Sebatianos]

OK, this year that pervert isn't comming down my chimney!

[Puffin]

Well... the Icelandic santa is fucked up.

It isn't him, it's THEM. We have 13 santa's. They live in a mountain, with their troll-parents. (I think this deserves to be in the joke thread, but it's true!! :crazy: )
They come every night, the first comes on the 11th of December and the last one on the 24th. They put some stuff in our shoes, which we put in the window.

And they're actually evil.
They steal stuff and shit.... Eat our food, look under women's skirts and slam doors.

Historical note:
When Iceland was under the Danish king Christian (some-number here), the king made a rule. People were not allowed to frighten their children with stories of the santa clauses, their parents, or their cat. (The cat ate kids who didn't get clothes for christmas).

And I'm not just making this up.




:blink: Santas (http://notendur.centrum.is/~olafurp/images/Sveinar.jpg)

[Unknown Hero]

Hmmm.... Let's see..
Topic: SATAN...oops...I misspelled! It's Santa.
Here you go!


Wanna more, just ask!

[Sebatianos]

Originally posted by Puffin@Nov 11 2004, 12:58 AM
Well... the Icelandic santa is fucked up.
...
And they're actually evil.
They steal stuff and shit.... Eat our food...
AAAAaaaahhhh!
So that's why you're hungry all the time.

We have some other creatures (it really a local folklore) called Bramarji. They're not here for christmas, but they come around on the second Sunday of September. All they do is eat flys :sick:
- that's why there aren't any during the winter.

Maybe we should start a thread about our cultures, since we're from such different parts of the world?

[Puffin]

Originally posted by Sebatianos@Nov 10 2004, 11:15 PM
Maybe we should start a thread about our cultures, since we're from such different parts of the world?
Yeah, I think it would be a good idea :ok:

[wormpaul]

I think i saw it already there :whistle:

[Sebatianos]

Originally posted by wormpaul@Nov 11 2004, 11:10 AM
I think i saw it already there :whistle:
Who do you think put it there, and when? :angel:

OK another joke:
A kid comes to a young new teacher and asks her: "Would you show me your tits for 100$"
She's angry but thinks, no real harm in that, so she does it.
"And would you get naked here for anoter 300$?"
She startr thinking 400$ all together? Thats 1/3 of the payment she gets - and she takes off all her clothes.
"And would you go all the way with me for 600$ more ?"
Hey, all together that'd be her monthly wage. She does it.
The kid leaves very happy and she starts dressing up again, when the headmaster comes in: "Did that boy bring you your montly payment?" :max:

[FreeFreddy]

This one is little crazy, so enjoy with care... :whistle:

Scroll up to the uppermost post, it's the first one.

This rocks (http://silral.ng-masters.org/thread.php?postid=77700&sid=a5722cc87593adab46467390e1f93336#post77700)

[Sebatianos]

Excelent music (except for the guy on teh keyboards - he was a bit of in tempo - he really fell behind the guy with the tuba, but the guy plaing the chain-saw was just LOUD)!!!
:bleh:
OK, what about this one?

[FreeFreddy]

Heh, funny one. :D
Well, what would you say about this one then? :sneaky:

Surprise (http://lustich.de/download/72-1-video-9576711e/surprise.mpg)

[Sebatianos]

Heh, heh, what about this?

[Sebatianos]

OK, here's a good joke that works in Slovene and in Croatian, but I'm not sure if I can translate it in English (so it would stay funny).

A guy drives up to the border and the border inspetion stops him.
"Do you have anything to declare?"
'I only have a calculator with me.'"Let's see."
And guess what - he had a machine gun in the back.
"What kind of a calculator is this?!?!"'I calculated there'd be trouble...' :rifle:

A evo i hrvatskog originala, za one koji razumete:
Vozi Siptar prema Srbsko-Albanskoj granici i zaustave ga:
"Imate nešto za prijaviti?"
'Samo kaljkuljator.'
"Pokažite."
I vidi ti njega, on izvuče kalašnikov.
"Ma kakav ti je to kalkulator?"
'Idem da sredim neke račune...'

[FreeFreddy]

Some people seem to hate winter...

http://autsch.rtl.de/weltschmerz/lifesteil/fuck_winter.jpg

[Puffin]

:eeeeeh:

That's my house!!!


:whistle:

[FreeFreddy]

And you made this "work art" all alone? :D

Happy meal, btw. :sneaky:

http://autsch.rtl.de/weltschmerz/lifesteil/happy_meal.jpg

[Puffin]

LMAO LOL

[Sebatianos]

Freddy, trust me the stuff the actually use at McDonalds is even worse and more dangerous!!! :blink: :sick:

[Yamcha]

Well look at this (http://fun.dir.bg/pic.php?id=1344&start=1345)

[Sebatianos]

OH, you mean natural stuff like this:

[Havell]

Originally posted by Sebatianos@Nov 14 2004, 02:47 PM
OH, you mean natural stuff like this:
:roflol: :roflol: :roflol:

My sides actually hurt, I'm not kidding.

[Sebatianos]

Here's another - not quite as good, but...

[Yamcha]

there you go (http://fun.dir.bg/pic.php?id=1339)
take a look a this (http://fun.dir.bg/pic.php?id=1314)

[FreeFreddy]

Well, ok, I hope this one is still not too much... :whistle:

[Yamcha]

Originally posted by FreeFreddy@Nov 14 2004, 04:21 PM
Well, ok, I hope this one is still not too much... :whistle:

Happy Halloween! (http://silral.ng-masters.org/attachment.php?attachmentid=733)
I must log on :blink:

[FreeFreddy]

Originally posted by yamcha565656@Nov 14 2004, 05:23 PM
I must log on :blink:
Oops, sorry. Edited. :ok:

Careful with radar trap in Africa... :sneaky:

[Yamcha]

The Milka company is getting bigger and bigger

[FreeFreddy]

Lool, who's next? Bronthosaurus? :blink: LOL

[Yamcha]

NO is this

[Sebatianos]

Some VIAGRA posters next:

[Yamcha]

I know this one :angel:

[Puffin]

Geez... this thread should be 18+!!...;)


:whistle:

LOL

[Yamcha]

Do you raely like the powerpuff girls Puffin? :w00t: Once again the day is saved thanks to the POWERPUFF Girls LOL

[Sebatianos]

OK, let's not be SOOOOO obvious!
What about this Puff, would this be OK?

[Puffin]

I'm not the biggest fan of Powerpuffgirls, no ;)
I don't have Cartoon Network :cry:

[Sebatianos]

You can allways play their online games at www.cartoonnetwork.com/games

[Yamcha]

Originally posted by Puffin@Nov 14 2004, 05:31 PM
I'm not the biggest fan of Powerpuffgirls, no ;)
I don't have Cartoon Network :cry:
Poor Poor Cartoon Network changes to TCM at 21.00 :cry: I can't watch Tex Avery :wall: :cry:

[Fawfulhasfury]

Forget the Powerpuff Girls! :not_ok: I'm talking Teen Titans! :ok: :D

[FreeFreddy]

This happens at night on your desktop... :blink:

Total war, Diablo wins! (http://silral.ng-masters.org/redir.php?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.spaceclub2000.de%2F Space%2FFunstuff%2FIconFight%2Ficonfight.php)

[Sebatianos]

Well what do you say about these Powerpuff... ? :blink: girls :eeeeeh: ?

[Puffin]

Why, OH WHY, are there always pics of my house, me and my friends, and even my family in this thread?!?

Geez... can't we get any privacy?!? :cry:

*goes off to chew my own fist*

[Sebatianos]

And if you tell me this is your pet Eagle I give up :bleh:

[Yamcha]

Originally posted by FreeFreddy@Nov 14 2004, 09:52 PM
This happens at night on your desktop... :blink:

Total war, Diablo wins! (http://silral.ng-masters.org/redir.php?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.spaceclub2000.de%2F Space%2FFunstuff%2FIconFight%2Ficonfight.php)
I watched that many times Before :angel:

[Sebatianos]

Mujo drives his car really fast when he sees a police car behind him!
He goes even faster, but eventually decides to stop.
The cop comes to his car and says: "You better give me a darn good reason for running from me!"
Mujo answers: "Well my Fata run away from me with a cop - I was afraid you're returning her!"
:angel:

[FreeFreddy]

Originally posted by yamcha565656
I watched that many times Before
And lost much experience, hm? :sneaky:

The best protections agains virus. The words mean "Microsoft Winstupid" (on the floppy) and "give GATES no chance" :whistle:

[Sebatianos]

Remember the slogan:
Don't drink and drive - just smoke and fly!

Better NOT!!!

[Yamcha]

I remarked that the images we are posting are very populars for example I saw all the stuff that Sebatianos posted :blink:

[Sebatianos]

even those powerpuff girls?!?! :eeeeeh:
Damn, you're informed!

[Yamcha]

Yes :bleh: dir.bg have most of them

[Rogue]

:D

[Rogue]

:blink:

[Sebatianos]

talking about T-shirts

[Sebatianos]

or

[Yamcha]

And talking about babies..

[Rogue]

kids

how smart they become...

[Yamcha]

Yes you are right.....

[Sebatianos]

It's the resault of genetic engeneering!

[Rogue]

Some stuff you'll find at young age....

[Yamcha]

Ok now good night I'm going to bed :yawn:

[Sebatianos]

All this shit just makes babys agressive!

Goodnight Yamcha

[Rogue]

Good night yamcha! (what time is there??)

[Sebatianos]

He'll just start siniging something like this (http://www.abandonia.com/~sebatianos/Other%20stuff/You%20don't%20love%20me%20any%20more%20-%20Weird%20Al%20Yankovich.mp3)

[Rogue]

He's from slo if I'm not mistaken.

Also Kris Novoselic (Nirvana - Bass guitar).

[Sebatianos]

Originally posted by Anubis@Nov 15 2004, 11:03 PM
He's from slo if I'm not mistaken.
Here (http://www.weirdal.com/) you'll find all about Al, and just for fun, here's (http://www.abandonia.com/~sebatianos/Other%20stuff/Your%20horoscope%20-%20Weird%20Al%20Yankovich.mp3) another one of his songs!

[Yamcha]

Yeah the second song is simply COOL :bannana: :bannana: :bannana: :bannana:
IM in belgium btw so i think the time is +1h to london

[wormpaul]

Indeed...that`s correct :ok:

[Rogue]

What time did you go then to sleep? :blink:


Here are some santa's letters.... LOL

[Rogue]

And another one... :)

[Yamcha]

Yes sometimes Santa goes :crazy: :eeeeeh:

[Rogue]

There is couple more of wishes...

[Sebatianos]

These santa's are freaks - time for another song (http://www.abandonia.com/~sebatianos/Other%20stuff/The%20Night%20Santa%20Went%20Crazy%20-%20Wierd%20Al%20Yankovich.mp3).

[Rogue]

Let's move a bit to politics...

Here are the real results for USA election: :D

[Rogue]

Is the soccer geyish? :D :D :D

[Sebatianos]

Originally posted by Anubis@Nov 16 2004, 10:07 PM
Let's move a bit to politics...

Here are the real results for USA election: :D
Not to forget - Serbia and FYRMacedonia would vote Bush too :sick: but they're not on the map!

[Rogue]

Here is a snapshot of google (circa 1960)
:D

[Yamcha]

I just love tennis :D

[Yamcha]

Yes there are many gays in the foot :blink:

[Sebatianos]

What about sexual jokes??? :angel: :whistle:

[Rogue]

Who said foot is gayish??? :blink:

[Sebatianos]

That just pisses me off...
So I take a piss!!!

EDIT: Sorry Freddy (or which ever admin took it off) - I gues the picture was too much!

[Rogue]

:roflol:


Getting a blowjob at the school is not very nice idea....

[FreeFreddy]

Ok, people, let's not go too far, ok? ;)
Don't forget, here's not only adult people visiting the site, so let's be more careful.


A new kind of banana... :D

[Sebatianos]

Mymymy
They really don't know how to behave!

[Yamcha]

Originally posted by FreeFreddy@Nov 16 2004, 09:23 PM
Ok, people, let's not go too far, ok? ;)
Don't forget, here's not only adult people visiting the site, so let's be more careful.


A new kind of banana... :D
Can you just put an 18 before this topic LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL

[Rogue]

Ok, let's go back to Santa's problems (and why some of us will not get any presents...)....

[FreeFreddy]

Oh my... :blink:
Where are the times when Santa's were still needed... :D

[Rogue]

Originally posted by FreeFreddy@Nov 16 2004, 04:28 PM
Oh my... :blink:
Where are the times when Santa's were still needed... :D
All his problems started with aviation... LOL

[Sebatianos]

This (http://www.imgag.com/product/full/ap/3067907/graphic1.swf) just in - one Bush, ten brains - you don't stand a chance!

[Rogue]

Originally posted by Sebatianos@Nov 16 2004, 04:42 PM
This (http://www.imgag.com/product/full/ap/3067907/graphic1.swf) just in - one Bush, ten brains - you don't stand a chance!
This is hilarious!!! :roflol:

[FreeFreddy]

This happens with dogs that get alcohol to drink... :whistle:

[Unknown Hero]

I played "Give BUSH a BRAIN"!!!! LOL LOL LOL

......and I took a look at my private arhive, and found this pic:
"The good old days!"

[Rogue]

LOL

[Rogue]

:D

[Sebatianos]

Forged coin!!! Whatc out!

[FreeFreddy]

LOL

[Rogue]

Not sure if this can stay, but I think it's hilarious. Pics from anti-bush protests in USA.

http://www.kontrabandcontent.co.uk/1/graphics/pics/bush_protest1.jpg

[Puffin]

Lmao!!

LOL LOL

[Unknown Hero]

Why not start new cotest about who will post pictures that respond to some topic??? Check here! (http://www.abandonia.com/forum/index.php?act=ST&f=15&t=1502)

[Sebatianos]

OK, so no more picture jokes,...

There were this two old people - a man and a woman and both were still vigins. So zhey decided to do something about it and go to a respecteble hotel and get a room. In the evening they are wondering what to do so she says: "Well let's just get naked, turn off the light and run towards each other and see what happens."
So the next morning a bell-hop is telling the lift-boy: "Did you hear about the guy, who jumep off the 5th floor into the waterfountain naked? The old perverted farth..."
"That's nothing, there's an old woman up on the 5th floor and the firemen are trying to pry her of a doornob for an hour now!"

[rainwife]

An inocent teacher's joke:
One day Mikey brought his teacher an apple. The teacher gave him a kiss on the cheek.
The next day he brought her a watter melone... :whistle:

[Unknown Hero]

My carferry's wheel is blown up!

[Fawfulhasfury]

LOL

[Sebatianos]

Laughing is good - so if noone minds I'll try to keep this thread alive :angel:

Here's one from China - their #1 water sport!!!

[Unknown Hero]

Yep! But now it works perfect!

Just to mention:

My pigs at the backyard were hungry, and I didn't have anything to feed them just a bottle of cofee! "I have nothing to lose!", I said and gave the cofee to pigs. After an hour or so, I went back to backyard, and what did I find out!!?!?!?!

I find out that my pigs are foretelling future from their cofee stains! :blink:

[Sebatianos]

Let me guess. Their future was:

[Unknown Hero]

No, it actually was:

[Sebatianos]

But what if the pigs mutate?

[Iron_Scarecrow]

Oh did I hate that book?

I sure did, with a passion too.

[Sebatianos]

Originally posted by Iron_Scarecrow@Nov 27 2004, 01:26 AM
Oh did I hate that book?

I sure did, with a passion too.
Now this is no joke. I actually know a librarian who was in jail for 17 moths because of this book. She got it from someone out of the English Ambassy in Belgrade back in the days of the strickt communist rules - and commented to her superior:
-Why is this book perhibited? I read it and it's almost like the political system we have. I think everyone should be able to read it. It's fun.

She's a retired old lady now, but she had trouble ever since that day right up to the mid 90s (even after the colapse of the communist regime).

[FreeFreddy]

Which shows how far we are away yet from being a true social democratical society...

[Schabernakel-anbeter]

OK i try to translate one :eeeeeh:

Theirs a meeting of two planets
says the one: Why do you look so sad and ill?
says the other: I got humans.
says the one: Nevermind, this will pass. LOL

[Sebatianos]

:w00t: :D
Don't know if it will translate...

Two teachers correcting tests are talking:
Did you do Jim?
-Nope he did me...

[punch999]

tht picture of the 4 cars tht unknown hero posted i live across the street of where tht pic of the lobster car was takin LOL

[evilded]

I got a joke:
A preist and a Rabbi are walking down the street and they see a little boy.

The preist says to the Rabbi, "Let's screw him!"

The Rabbi looks confused and says, "Out of what?"

[Sebatianos]

So that's how the survive the thanksgiving!

[Iron_Scarecrow]

I advise everyone to go here.



HERE. (http://www2.b3ta.com/youcantspell/)

[Yamcha]

A little bit dumb <_<

[Iron_Scarecrow]

I had a good laugh.

[Wael]

Originally posted by Sebatianos@Dec 1 2004, 02:20 PM
So that's how the survive the thanksgiving!
Gary Larson´s?

[Sebatianos]

Now I know why accidents happen:

[Rogue]

latest picture of mars...

[Sebatianos]

I think this is what you'd call unsafe sex!

[Unknown Hero]

And I think this is what you'd call safe sex!

[Fawfulhasfury]

Calvin: Why do you suppose people were put on earth? Why are we here?
Hobbes: Tiger food. *grins*


Calvin: I hate fishing. Help me throw in this big rock and after all the fish are dead we'll pick em up.
They throw it in and get really wet. Hobbes roughly picks up Calvin.
Calvin: Hey. I know it was a bad idea but I got wet too.
Hobbes: No, you're idea was fine. You just didn't throw in a big enough object.

[Iron_Scarecrow]

Love these.

What do you call a cow on three legs?
Tri Chop

What do you call a cow on two legs?
Lean Beef

What do you a cow with no legs?
Ground Beef


LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL

[Unknown Hero]

I'm so sorry to be a bearer of bad news! :(

The santa claus decided to go to Split (here!) on vacation....and he liked it here so much, that he decided to stay forever!

[Rogue]

http://www.kontrabandcontent.co.uk/1/graphics/pics/rich_guy_poor_guy1.jpg

[Ioncannon]

http://www.funnysign.com/funnysign/035_do_not_enter.jpg

[Ioncannon]

http://www.funnysign.com/funnysign/037_explosive.jpg
The choice of terrorists worldwide.

http://www.funnysign.com/funnysign/044_f_king.jpg
this made me laugh my eyes out

[Rogue]

Some wild insurance claims...

http://www.kontrabandcontent.co.uk/1/graphics/pics/insurance_claims.jpg

[Ioncannon]

wtf... is that a horse???

[Rogue]

:D

I would say it's what's left of the horse. :blink:

:D

Similar happened back in my country, back in 1990.

[Eagle of Fire]

How could a horse possibly enter a car without blowing the top first? :blink:

This is surely a joke.

[Rogue]

In the nearby city, back in Bosnia, guy did hit a horse with a 'zastava 101 aka stojadin' - one of Fiat licenses made in our country, and whole horse god in the car, and it was still alive (not for a long). The guy also was alive, with some minor injuries.

[Unknown Hero]

Originally posted by Ioncannon@Dec 5 2004, 04:38 AM
wtf... is that a horse???
Nope, that's the driver personaly!

[FreeFreddy]

Oh, now that definitely was way too much of a plastic operation... :eeeeeh:

[Iron_Scarecrow]

What do you call a blind deer?

No Idea.

LOL LOL LOL

What do you call a blind deer with no legs?

Still no idea.

LOL LOL LOL

[Sebatianos]

An Italian comes to Florida and wants to go on a beach.
To the first person he sees: "Hey-a you. I wanna see a beecha."
"Sorry buddy, can't help you there."
To the next person: "Hey-a miseter. I wanna see youra beecha."
"You pervert."
To the :pimp: :"Hello to you miseter. I wanna see a beecha."
"50 bucks."
"You-a no understanda miseter. I wanna see a butifula beecha."
"Yeah, yeah, beautiful - ugly - no matter. 50 bucks!"
So the Italian gets angry: "F*ck your beecha!"
"100 bucks!"

[FreeFreddy]

Trust Santa... He'll bring you a niiice gift... :sneaky:

[Proudwolf]

~The telephone rings and an answering machine answers...
"Welcome to the psychiatric hotline."

If you are obsessive compulsive, please press one repeatedly.

If you are co-dependant, please ask someone to press 2.

If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you are paranoid/delusional, we know who you are, what you want, just stay on the line so that we can trace your call.

If your are a schizophrenic, listen carefully, and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

If your are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press....no one will answer anyways
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
~A guy walked into a cafe and asked for a bowl of chili. The waitress said, "The guy next to you got the last bowl." He looks ofer and sees that the guy's bowl of chili is full. He says, "If you're not going to eat that, mind if I taek it?" The other guy says, "No, help yourself." He starts to eat it and abokut halfway down, his fork hits something. It's a dead mouse, and he vomits the chili back into the bowl. The other guy says, "That's about as far as I got, too."

(that one makes me kinda hungry)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
~A man walks into a welfare office to collect his check.
He walks up to the teller and tells her,
"You know, I'm really tired of coming down here...I think I might get a job."
The receptionist looks at him, and says,
"I've actually just had an opening for a chauffer to be employed by a millionaire. You'll need to drive around his 22-year-old nymphomaniac daughter, including accompaning her to any overseas trips. All meals and housing is included, and the starting salary is $75,000."
The man is stunned,
"You're bullshitting me..."
"Hey, you started it!"

[Classic Pig]

Originally posted by Iron_Scarecrow@Dec 6 2004, 10:14 AM
What do you call a blind deer?

No Idea.

LOL* LOL* LOL

What do you call a blind deer with no legs?

Still no idea.

LOL* LOL* LOL
And a deer with no eyes, no legs that has just been shot? :rifle:

Still bloody no idea!


Two men are in a bar and get onto the arguement of who is stronger. The first guy picks up a chair, walks outside and throws the chair up. The chair flies up 20 stories and comes down, crashes on the pavement and shatters into a thousand little pieces. the second guy takes a table and throws it up. It flies up 30 stories and crashes on the pavement. So the first guy not to be outdone rushes back into the bar and takes a fridge and throws it up and it flies up 50 stories and crashes down onto the pavement. So man two rushes inside, grabs the piano and with all of his might flings the piano into the air and it goes up up up... (read on!)
__________________________________________________ ______________

Q: How do elephants hide in cherry trees?

A: They paint their toe nails red...

Q: How do you know it works?

A: Have YOU ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree?

__________________________________________________ _______________

How do you fit four elephants into a mini?

Two in front and two in the back

__________________________________________________ _______________

A parrot is on an aeroplane trip. He is in the non-smoking section and is seated next to a rather irate man. Half way through the flight the man lights up a cigarette and the bird says to him "sir - you can't smoke here - non - smoking!" the guy ignores the bird so the bird flies up into the call attendant button to call the air hostess. She then comes over, sees the man smoking and gets him to put it out. This happens another few times and eventually the bird gets really angry and says "you !&@#$&$* *@*$$& *@$*&%&# I have told you that you are *#&$@#* allowed to smoke on this plane you &@$&@!$*!!!" To this the man gets really angry and opens the window and throws the bird out!
What happens next?
The bird gets hit by a piano!

[Sebatianos]

Originally posted by Classic Pig@Dec 7 2004, 02:27 AM
How do you fit four elephants into a mini?

Two in front and two in the back
How do you know there's an elephant in your fridge?

There's a mini parked in front of your house with only 3 elephants in it!

[Havell]

(this one works better when told verbally)

How do you get two whales in a mini?

Over the Humber Bridge!

[Sebatianos]

How do you get 200 Ethiopians in a mini?
Throw some bred in it!

How do you get them out?
You can't - they got too fat!

[Unknown Hero]

Mujo arrived at border and wanted to pass it with his elephant. So he put two slices of bread on elephant's ears, one on each. And when the policeman at border asked him: "Where are you going with that elephant??", he answered: "What do you f**king care, what I will put in my sandwich!!!???" LOL LOL LOL

[Havell]

Originally posted by Sebatianos@Dec 7 2004, 11:19 AM
How do you get 200 Ethiopians in a mini?
Throw some bread in it!

How do you get them out?
You can't - they got too fat!
How do you get 20 Ethiopians in a phone box?

Put a tin of baked beans in it.

How do you get 20 Ethiopians out of a phone box?

Run past with a tin opener.

[Sebatianos]

What does an Ethiopian do with a rollex?

Wear it as a belt!

[Sebatianos]

This is too good to be true!

Prehistoric Porn! (http://www.abandonia.com/~sebatianos/Other%20stuff/porno.mpeg)

[Classic Pig]

OK BACK TO ELEPHANTS...

Q:How do you know there is an elephant under your bed?
A:You wake up, stretch, sit up and knock your head on the ceiling.

Q: Why is there a curfew at night in the jungle?
A: Elephants parachute after dark

Q: Why are crocodiles flat?
A: They ignored the curfew.

Q: How do you fit a rhinocerous into a mini?
A: Put it in the place of the elephant which is in the fridge.

Q: How do you know there has been an elephant in your fridge?
A1 - There is a mini parked outside with three elephants and a rhino in it
A2 - There are really big footprints in the butter.

Q: Why did the monkey fall out the tree?
A: It was dead
Q: Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?
A: It was stapled to the first
Q: And the third?
A: IT thought it was a game
Q: And the fourth?
A: Mass action.

Q: Why did the tree fall over?
A: It thought it was a monkey

Q: Why did the game ranger die?
A: He got flattened by four falling monkeys and a tree :tomato:

[Fawfulhasfury]

Anubis said this was worth posting here


Is the Lord of the Dead(you)plaqued by unsightly nose hair?*
Should I tell everyone?*
Then try our fabulous new product!*





huh?*



*


I all of a sudden felt like telling jokes based on commercials.
At others expense! YAY!!!*
You got any good jokes based on commercials?
At my expense?*





I'm killing my self with projects, and you're asking me for the jokes???*



How about commercial about the deadliest insect killer on the market??





all right
Is it an airplane?
No, it's Superman!
Actually it's The Deadliest Killer Insect on the market!
RUN!!!!!!!!!
But before you run be sure you go to the bathroom, that way you don't pee your pants when you see it.
And while you're running, be sure to buy our patented insect repellant, only $19.95.



Hope you enjoy this funny little conversation LOL

[Sebatianos]

A turist come to Chicago and goes to teh restourant at the top floor of a skyscraper.

Turist: "There's no wind here, why do you call it the windy city?"
A drunk at the bar: "You turists are all the same. You come to the windy city and don't even know why it's called that! It's simple - the wind is so strong that if I jumped out the window right now the wind would blow me back in."

Turist: "No way - you'd fall down!"

The drunk opens the window and jumps out. Two minutes later he falls through
the open window back in the same restourant.

Turist: "It's a trick. You're wearing wires!"

Drunk: "No trick. The wind is really that strong!"

The turist checks the drunk and makes sure there's nothing attached to him. Checks out the window (there's only a slight breeze) and says - try it again.
The drunk jumps again - and sure enough two minutes latter falls back in again.

Turist: "I gotta try this!!!" and jumps out the window.

Barman: "You're a mean drunk Superman..."

[wormpaul]

Really an old one...

But still :roflol:

[marko river]

Q: Why crocodile has no wings?

A: What a f... he's gonna do with them, reckon?

[Sebatianos]

Q: Why does the chicken have wings?
A: So it wouldn't think it's a crocodile.
Don't you just love these jokes???
:eeeeeh: :sick: :tomato: :wall:

[Unknown Hero]

It's monday, and mr. Smith went home hungry as wolf!
"What's for lunch?" - he asked
"Rabbit!" - responded mrs. Smith
"I loooove rabbits!"

Tomorrow: "What's for lunch?"
"Rabbit!"
"We had rabbit yesterday, but since I'm hungry...."

Wednesday: "What's for lunch?"
"Rabbit!"
"Again?!?!? Well if you insist!"

Thursday: "What's for lunch?"
"Rabbit!"
"You know I love rabbits, but don't cook it tomorrow! OK?"

Friday: "What's for lunch?"
"Rabbit!"
"I told you not to cook it again! Don't cook it tomorrow!"

Saturday: "What's for lunch?"
"Rabbit!"
"If you tomorrow prepare rabbit, I wont eat it!"

Sunday: "What's for lunch?"
"Rabbit!"
"This is the last time I eat those rabbits!!!!!"

Monday: "What's for lunch?"
"Rabbit!"
"I loooove rabbits!"

LOL LOL LOL LOL

[Sebatianos]

I always wondered what happened to that cute little bugger Kon-Tiki mentioned...
Click here (http://www.abandonia.com/forum/index.php?showtopic=1538) if you have no idea what I'm talking about!

[Sebatianos]

Another little bunny joke (with three different endings):

A rabbit walks in a hardware store and says: Give me a ton of carrots!
Selesman: It's a hardware store - we don't keep carrots.
Next day the rabbit comes back and says: I wanna ton of carrots!!!
Salesman: It's a hardware store. We haven't any!!!
Again next day the rabbit comes to the store: Let's have that ton of carrots.

ending 1:
Salesman: WE HAVEN?T ANY F**KING CARROTS. IF YOU DON?T STOP THIS NONSENCE I'LL NAIL YOU TO THE WALL!!!
But the very next day the rabbit comes in again: I'd like to buy some nails please.
Salesman: Oh sorry. We're fresh out!
Rabbit: Then just give me a ton of carrots instead.

ending 2:
Salesman: We really haven't any.
After the rabbit leaves he thinks - if that guy really want's all those carrots it would be a good buissines move, so lets order some.
Next day the rabbit wolks in again: Do you by any chance have a ton of carrots?
Salesman: We sure do!
Rabbit: How the f**k are you going to sell them? No one will come to buy carrots in a hardware store!

ending 3:
Salesman: WE HAVEN?T ANY F**KING CARROTS. IF YOU DON?T STOP THIS NONSENCE I'LL NAIL YOU TO THE WALL!!!
The rabbit comes back the next day and again asks: Can I havee a ton of carrots?
The salesman grabs him by the ears and nails him to the wall (a nail in each ear).
The rabbit looke around and sees a crucefix on the wall with Jesus on it.
Rabbit: Damn man, how many carrots did you want?

[Iron_Scarecrow]

What's pink and fluffy?

Pink fluff.


What's blue and fluffy?

Pink fluff holding it breath.



LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL

:blink: Where do I get these crappy jokes. :blink:

[Sebatianos]

Joke of the day!

Now that we moved to the new server it's required for the DSN to refresh - until then some people can't log in!
Kosta - or lord and master is currently unable to visit the forum!
the only way for him to come to the forum would be to lock all of us out!

[Havell]

What's brown and sticky?

A stick!

What's green and has wheels?

Grass (I lied about the wheels)!

[Eagle of Fire]

How about we end the trend of bad jokes and we actually try to put some humour back in this thread?

[Fawfulhasfury]

A couple are lying in bed. The woman turns to the man and says,"I am going to make you the happiest man alive." The man says, "I'll miss you." LOL

[Iron_Scarecrow]

Originally posted by Eagle of Fire@Dec 13 2004, 11:18 PM
How about we end the trend of bad jokes and we actually try to put some humour back in this thread?
I prefer bad jokes, laugh longer at how bad they are.

[Unknown Hero]

What's the difference batween chicken and elephant???

None, they are both yellow...cept. elephant! LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL

[evilded]

A man walked into a bar and said "ouch"

[Sebatianos]

An old one - and better if told (so just read it loud to someone who's near):

What's better then roses on her piano?
Tulips on my organ.