Download Secret Agent

Secret Agent is the first part of a trilogy of platform games made by Apogee Software (now 3D Realms). It's shareware, so it's free, only the next two parts have to be bought. I recommend this game: it has action, fun, and hyperactive zombie secret agents. Read on... 

An evil terrorist organization called the DVS has stolen the blueprints for a silly-named weapon, the "Red Rock Rover". They carried them away and hid them on their island. That's bad! The president did the thing that is usually done in such a situation: he dispatched a lonely secret agent, gave him a pea-shooter and 5 rounds of ammo and left him with this to face hundreds of guards, robots and traps. Yippeee!

We start on the island's shore and get a chance to take a look at our hero. He differs from the guy we saw on the title screen. Sure, he has that blonde hair, but apart from that, everything has changed: his teeth are exposed in a permanent grimace (hey, a diamond tooths!), he's dressed in red pajamas (yes, because walking around in red pajamas around a green forest surely makes for an effective camouflage. Because when the guards will see him, they will think "no real person would dress like that, I must be hallucinating" and ignore him) and he's got gray skin. Why gray skin? I don't know. Maybe he's a zombie. You see, when you become a secret agent, you do so for life - and beyond. When you die, they resurrect you with voodoo magic and force you to serve your country until you fall apart completely. Ugh!

Anyways, our heroic zombie secret agent is on an island and he's waiting impatiently for some action. Wait just a little more, Mr. Bond. We see the island from a bird's eye view, and there are numerous buildings on it - each building is a platform game level. When you get through all the levels, you'll gain the access to the "well-guarded" main fortress, get the blueprints, escape the island that will explode for no particular reason, and get a fat reward.

When it comes to levels, I have only one word: variety. All the levels have different background and different layouts, offering you different challenges: one time you're nervously riding a gravity-defying platform over a pool full of sharks (or at least, a shark), then you find yourself hopping around a castle battlements while avoiding missiles fired at you. The abundance of elements helps to liven up the areas. There are quite a lot of decorations, such as ceiling fans (watch out for them), signs, potted plants, security monitors or pool tables (with pool cues nearby). But watch out, for you also shall encounter dangerous objects such as landmines (instant death!!!), spears (instant death!!!), acid (instant death!!!) or spikes rising from the floor (not instant death!!!). Often, there are also lasers, which will kill you (instantly!!!) if you don't turn them off by finding a floppy disk and putting it into a computer with ridiculously big letters on it.

But there are also more self-conscious enemies: and so, you'll encounter numerous guard and robots. The guards all have grey skin (zombies again?), but use different weapons. From the horribly weak guy with a butter knife who looks like he's covered in eggs to the brown-haired macho with a gun, they aren't usually that much of a threat. The robots, however, can be more dangerous. From floating satellites to robot dogs, they are all programmed to maim, kill, murder, hurt and, um, kill our brave hero. Some of them need to be shot only three times before vanishing, but some can't be killed, and some must be killed in a specific way - I'll let you to find this out yourself. 

You'd better be careful; our zombie agent has just 3 health points, and if he loses them all, he dies! When this happens, he begins flailing his arms and legs around like crazy and rolling his eyes with the speed of sound. See? Told you: hyperactive. Judging from his eyes, he could be actually a hyperactive zombie secret agent hypnotist, but that would be so awesome that it would make your brain explode. Don't worry though - we have an unlimited number of lives, so we can start the level anew when we die (the stupid terrorists from DVS don't even know how to kill a zombie for good!). On our way, we'll collect lots of bonus items; most of them give you score, but there is also ammo, keys (guess what they are for?) and even an improved weapon (allows you to shoot faster; press the 'fire' key quickly two times for this). Sometimes you'll see barrels which you have to push to get up somewhere; sometimes you can get yourself stuck if handling the barrels incompetently, so watch out. To complete a level, we have to find a radar dish and destroy it, and find an elevator door and destroy it - for this you'll need to find some dynamite and destroy it... err, I mean, put it next to the door.

Now for the graphics: they are quite nice and colorful, I liked them! The sounds... well, the less said about them, the better. ...I guess this is all you need to know. Now go on, and play this game. A world of adventure, action, robots, and hyperactive zombie secret agents in red pajamas is waiting for you!