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[aaberg]

My name is Boris Yeltsin. I drink a bottle of vodka every morning before I go to work. In this way the day gets a lot more fun, because I get the currage to touch my secretaryes butts, mmmhh :wub:

Wacko!! :blink:

[TheVoid]

Get updated, Aaberg.......Putin's the boss now.

[aaberg]

I know, but he is not nearly as fun, because he don't drink as much (I think)

[TheVoid]

The English Language

Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?

Let's face it
English is a stupid language.
There is no egg in the eggplant
No ham in the hamburger
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England
French fries were not invented in France.

We sometimes take English for granted
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
Quicksand takes you down slowly
Boxing rings are square
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
If the plural of tooth is teeth
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
If the teacher taught,
Why didn't the preacher praught.

If a vegetarian eats vegetables
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
Why do people recite at a play
Yet play at a recital?
Park on driveways and
Drive on parkways

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
Of a language where a house can burn up as
It burns down
And in which you fill in a form
By filling it out
And a bell is only heard once it goes!

English was invented by people, not computers
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
(Which of course isn't a race at all)

That is why
When the stars are out they are visible
But when the lights are out they are invisible
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
It starts
But when I wind up this observation,
It ends.


:twisted:

[Red Diablo]

:whistle:

[aaberg]

TheVoid, that is the most sophisticated joke i ever read!

[Stobe]

Wierd pictures... :blink: ...but i like them...


Three Swedish men visited Copenhagen and decided to go to a bordello. They knocked on the door and the Madame opened.

Madame: - What do you want?
Swedes: - We want to come in. We are Swedish.
Madame: - How much money are you willing to spend here?
Swedes: - We have altogether 250 crones.
Madame: - 250 crones!! For that price you can suck each other!

After saying this the Madame slammed the door. After about 15 minutes the same three Swedes knocked on the door again.
Madame: - Well, what do you want now?
Swedes: - Where can we pay?

[Unknown Hero]

A: I can't forget picure of my wife!
B: Get drunk!
A: In that way I would see her twice!


@ TheVoid
That English joke is really good!

Here's a picture that will stop those still believeing in Santa Claus from doing that any further.
The writing in the picture means: "Christmas is stupid!"

[Red Diablo]

:blink: :blink: