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Old 26-11-2006, 10:38 PM   #1421
Mighty Midget
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Waht Tlauc siad, aubot wrieldy slepled wrdos, ramines ture atlhogug bzirare. Aynawy:

Two elderly couples were having tea on a grassy knoll outside the retirement home. They were talking about this and that, and eventually they began to talk about where they had their honeymoon. One of the men said in a very fond voice: "Ah, the honeymoon. That trip will live with me as long as I live". The other man asked where they had traveled, whereupon the first man's age suddenly took it's toll on his memory. He searched his memory, but just couldn't recall. Finally, he said "Name a variety of the potatoe". "A potat... why? What has potatoes got to..", "just name one, please" he implored. "Well, there's Alpha, and there's...", "no, that's not it, please go on", "ok, then there's Caesar", "no that's not it either", "hmmm, there's Matilda", "YES! That's it: Matilda!" the man cried out happily, "Matilda dear, where did we go on our honeymoon?"
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Old 13-01-2007, 12:28 PM   #1422
Himmler
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A guy comes home from a hard day at work and finds his girlfriend standing
on the front porch with her bags packed.
As he walks up she says, "I'm leaving you."
"Now what did I do?" he asks.
"Well, I just found out you're a pedophile."
"A pedophile, huh. That's a big word for a twelve year old girl."
LOL
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Old 13-01-2007, 12:32 PM   #1423
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That's disgustingly funny LOL
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Old 13-01-2007, 12:36 PM   #1424
Himmler
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i know LOL
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Old 05-02-2007, 03:27 PM   #1425
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What's worse than half a dog?

AIDS
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Old 25-02-2007, 05:26 PM   #1426
RedHeadSebbe
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Ill do some CPR on this tread

A state trooper pulls over a car for speeding and the female driver says
-"I guess you want to sell me some tickets to the Trooper's Ball?"

The trooper responded,
-"Troopers don't have balls, ma'am."

After he realized what he said, he simply walked back to his car and drove away...
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Old 25-02-2007, 09:33 PM   #1427
chainsoar
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A Jewish guy and a Chinese guy are in a bar, sitting side by side on their barstools. After a while the Jewish guy leaps off his stool and punches the Chinese guy in the head, knocking him off his barstool. "What the HELL was that for?" the Chinese guy cries. "That was for Pearl Harbor" replies the Jew. "That was the Japanese, you idiot! I'm Chinese!" says the Chinese man. The Jew answers, "Buck teeth, slitty eyes, it's all the same to me". The Chinese man gets back on his barstool and goes quiet for a while. Then, all of a sudden, he jumps out of his seat and hammers the Jew in the head, knocking him off the stool and a considerable distance across the floor. The Jew, shocked and in a fair amount of pain, says "I suppose that was revenge, huh?", to which the Chinese man replies, "No. That was for the Titanic, you bastard.". "What are you talking about? What do Jews have to do with that? That was an iceberg, for God's sake!". The Chinese man looks at him and says, "Iceberg, Goldberg, it's all the same to me."
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Old 14-04-2007, 08:14 PM   #1428
Himmler
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A girl came skipping home from school one day.
"Mommy, Mommy" , she
yelled, "we were counting today and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10".

See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!
"Very good" , said her mother.

"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy" ?
"Yes, it's because you're blonde", her mother replied.

The next day, the girl came skipping home from school.
"Mommy, Mommy, " she yelled, "we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G".

See? A, B, C, D, E, F, G!
"Very good", said her mother.

"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy"?
"Yes pumpkin, it's because you're blonde".

The next day the girl came skipping home from school.
"Mommy, Mommy", she yelled, "we were in gym class today
and when we showering,
all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!"
And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs. > "Very good" , said her embarrassed mother.

"Is it because I'm blonde, mommy" ?
"No, it's because you're 25."
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Old 15-04-2007, 12:46 AM   #1429
nace
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<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Himmler @ Apr 14 2007, 08:14 PM) [snapback]286989[/snapback]</div>
Quote:
A girl came skipping home from school one day.
"Mommy, Mommy" , she
yelled, "we were counting today and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10".

See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!
"Very good" , said her mother.

"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy" ?
"Yes, it's because you're blonde", her mother replied.

The next day, the girl came skipping home from school.
"Mommy, Mommy, " she yelled, "we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G".

See? A, B, C, D, E, F, G!
"Very good", said her mother.

"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy"?
"Yes pumpkin, it's because you're blonde".

The next day the girl came skipping home from school.
"Mommy, Mommy", she yelled, "we were in gym class today
and when we showering,
all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!"
And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs. > "Very good" , said her embarrassed mother.

"Is it because I'm blonde, mommy" ?
"No, it's because you're 25."
[/b]
:tai: k:
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Old 16-04-2007, 08:46 PM   #1430
Grinder
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LOL LOL LOL
Very good.
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