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[Blood-Pigggy]

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Tulac is THA DUDE!!! Guys!

Short Story about THA DUDE!!!

THA DUDE was strolling around the quiet and dark street, white Nikes clippin’ and cloppin’ on the hard gritty cement. It was at this moment he realized the earth shattering, incredible, unbelievable truth. His Kraft Macaroni and Cheese was left unattended rotating in the microwave. He let out an awful wail, his corn rows tightened as his forehead scrunched in the horrible realization. His long legs reached out desperately as he began sprinting at an unmatchable speed. THA DUDE then leapt into his Lincoln Navigator, jamming the key into the ignition, and smashed his foot to the pedal. As the vehicle sped off to his home, the Macaroni slowly approached doom as his younger brother Jamal came ever closer. THA DUDE picked up his cell phone and frantically called his home. As Jamal paused to pick up the phone THA DUDE screamed, “YOU TOUCH MY MACARONI AND I WILL DESTROY YOU!” Jamal replied “Mom says you’re adopted” and hanged up. THA DUDE’s veins were almost popping out of his skin as they throbbed in anger, his face red with rage and incredible hate overcoming his whole being. His small brown eyes were flaming in an incomprehensible melting pot of every vile thought imaginable to man, the words that sped through his mind would make an old lady collapse dead and make a baby’s head explode. As he approached 100 miles per hour, he heard the siren of the cops in the background. Letting out an incredible roar, he jammed on the acceleration even harder, sending his poor family vehicle choking as it spit out massive amounts of black speed, barely breathing as it crashed and zoomed through the empty streets.

Jamal, eyed the Macaroni and Cheese as it spun in the microwave, only two more minutes left…

THA DUDE raced as the cop slowly drew up to the side screaming obscenities through the onboard mic demanding he pull over. THA DUDE threw his Dollar Menu Burrito at the open window of the speeding police vehicle. As it impacted on the finely mustached face of the county police officer, the cop let out an ear shattering scream as the hot juices flew into his eyes, sending tears streaming down his cheeks as he attempted to save himself from the horrid burning sensation. The vehicle swerved wildly, and THA DUDE sped onward attempting to avoid it. Still screaming, the police officer violently smashed into the Lincoln Navigator in a mess of blurred vision. THA DUDE let out a surprised gasp as his vehicle spun out of control into a ditch near the side of the road. The police vehicle followed, but with less fortunate results, tumbling and crashing, rolling over and over down the ditch until it came to a smashing halt at the bottom, the police officer crawling out of the driver’s seat with burrito sauce flowing down his nostrils, screaming a vivid dictionary of curses.

Jamal vaguely heard the loud crash and tumbling metal, but kept his eyes on the microwave, one minute left…

As more police cars arrived, THA DUDE sped off into the night, hopping over fences and tumbling through backyards as the cops followed. His FUBU jeans were torn and faded, and even his long gangly legs were scratched from the action. One cop, his nametag tagging him as “Officer Wetodd Ed” ran at top speed, his obnoxious yellow tie flowing in the wind as he ran. Ed had been having a rough day at the office, and only wanted to catch THA DUDE to get himself a good rep and a raise at the office. But he knew there was something more to this man, he knew there was some sort of ultimate motive, some sort of powerful reason that THA DUDE could possibly have gone so wild.

Jamal yawned as he stared at the rotating Mac N’ Cheese, only thirty seconds left…

THA DUDE ran screaming into the screen door of his home, smashing through the door and leaving it ruined, Officer Ed following close behind. With a heavy drop kick, he smacked his little brother Jamal across the face, sending him flying into the wall with a sickening crunch. Jamal began to cry, and at this point THA DUDE screamed “I TOLD YOU NOT TO TOUCH MY MAC AND CHEESE STUPID!!” Jamal sat up and ran upstairs, yelling “Mom hates you!” Officer Ed sprang through the screen door, raising his gun and said “FREEZE!” THA DUDE held up his hands, back slowly to the microwave. “Cool it, I didn’t mean no harm… I only wanted some Macaroni and Cheese.” Officer Ed grew red with indignation “YOU WERE GOING TO EAT MAC AND CHEESE, AND YOU DIDN’T OFFER TO GIVE ME SOME!? I’M GOING TO SHOOT YOU ANYWAY!!” As Officer Ed pulled the trigger on his Desert Eagle, THA DUDE leapt towards the microwave, tearing out the Mac N’ Cheese as the loud gunshot echoed through the entire neighborhood, lighting up the room. Officer Ed saw it coming, but it was too late, the hot Mac N’ Cheese with scalding hot droplets of water came through the air, directly towards his face. It was all slow, his life flashed before his eyes, he counted every droplet of water, every little Macaroni noodle, and he swore to god he could hear his mother telling him not to put sugar tablets in the cat’s food.
Everything turned black, and all he felt was the burning hot sensation of Macaroni and Cheese.

THA DUDE, stood back, the bullet had barely missed him, a massive hold was in the wall behind him, making a large tear in his colorful flower wallpaper. Suddenly, his mother crashed through the door and said “SON, I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO TAKE OUT THE TRASH!” and THA DUDE sighed, just another day in his life.

[Judas]

^ Helped plan, create, and execute the rise of Communism.

[Lulu_Jane]

^ Is responsible for the nastiest kiss ever given

[Judas]

^ Has confused a man.

[Lulu_Jane]

^^ Is sorry, and explains that Judas was the guy who betrayed Jesus to the Roman army by kissing him.... or something like that.

^Is no longer confused

[Icewolf]

^ is a mango inhabitant who explains roman history to a wal-mart peon.

[Judas]

^ Can go straight to hell even if he had the good sense to put Guile in his avatar.

[Scatty]

^ Is in bad mood...

[Icewolf]

^ Is from the other side of the sky, so that is... ... ... space...?

[Judas]

^^ Is reading too much into sarcasm! And also has a title I'd like to have.
^ Wishes he could explore space. And check out that bitchin' "Electric Eye" satellite Judas Priest sang about.