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#1211 | ||
![]() ![]() ![]() Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: ,
Posts: 1,390
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![]() LOL
That truly was hilarious. |
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#1212 | ||
![]() ![]() ![]() Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Bucharest, Romania
Posts: 1,021
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![]() i was afraid someone will say it's a really bad joke
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#1213 | ||
![]() ![]() ![]() Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: ,
Posts: 1,390
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![]() An old mountaineer and his young wife were getting a divorce in the local court. But custody of the children was a problem. The mother jumped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she had brought the children into this world, she should retain custody of them. The old mountaineer also wanted custody of the children. The judge asked for his side of the story and, after a long moment of silence, the mountaineer slowly rose from his chair and replied, "Judge, when I put a dollar in a candy machine and a candy bar comes out, does it belong to me or the machine?"
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#1214 | ||
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![]() LOL *remembers of Sebatianos' jokes*
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#1215 | ||
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Baltezers, Latvia
Posts: 432
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![]() Washington DC., November 2004 (Sound of intercom buzzing)
(Remote voice) Mr. President, Condoleezza Rice is here to see you. †Good! Send her in. (Remote voice)Yessir! (Sound of door opening) ‡Good morning, Mr. President. (Sound of door closing) †Oh Condoleezza, nice to see you, what's happening? ‡Well, Mr. President, I have the report here about the new leader in China. †Right Conda, lay it on me. ‡Mr. President, Hu is the new leader of China. †Well, that's what I want to know. ‡Well, that's what I am telling you, Mr. President, †Well, that's what I am asking you Condi, who is the new leader of China. ‡Yes! †I mean the fellow's name. ‡Hu. †The guy in China. ‡Hu. †The new leader of China. ‡Hu. †The Chinaman. ‡Hu is leading China, Mr. President †What are you asking me for? ‡I am telling you, Hu is leading China. †Well, I am asking you Condi, who is leading China? ‡That's the man's name. †That's whose name? ‡Yes. †Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader in China? ‡Yessir! †Yasir? Yasir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East. ‡That's correct, sir. †Then who is in China? ‡Yes sir. †Yasir is in China? ‡No sir. †Then who is? ‡Yes sir. †Yasir? ‡No sir. (Moment's pause) †Condi, you are starting to tick me off now. That's not because you are black either. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. So why don't you get me the Secretary-General of the United Nations on the phone. ‡Kofi Annan? †No thanks; and Condi, call me George. Stop with that Ebonics crap. ‡You want Kofi? †No. ‡You don't want Kofi? †No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk, and then get me the UN. ‡Yes sir! †Not Yasir, the guy at the United Nations. ‡Kofi! †Milk! Will you please make that call? ‡And call who? †Well, who is the guy at the UN? ‡No, Hu is the guy in China. †Will you stay out of China? ‡Yes sir! †And stay out of the Middle East. Just get me the guy at the UN. ‡Kofi. †All right! With cream and two sugars... now get on the phone. (Phone dialling) ‡Hello! Rice here! †Rice? Good idea, and get a couple of egg-rolls too, Condi, maybe we should send some to the guy in China, and the Middle East. Can you get Chinese food in the Middle East? |
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#1216 | ||
![]() ![]() ![]() Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Agalli, Albania
Posts: 1,021
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![]() If you open the umbrella in the street of Ljubljana,
be careful not to hurt somebody's eye in Maribor. Why don't the ski springers in Planica do more than 250 meters? Because they would fly to Italy The shortest joke in the world: A couple is walking along the slovenian coast... What's the colour of the slovenian patrol boats? Both of them are blue. Slovenians don't need mobile phones. They can communicate yoddling from one end of the country to the other. What do the Slovenians need radars for? For fun.
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Crantius Colto: Fear not. You are safe here with me. Lifts-Her-Tail: I must finish my cleaning, sir. The mistress will have my head if I do not! Crantius Colto: Cleaning, eh? I have something for you. Here, polish my spear. Lifts-Her-Tail: But it is huge! It could take me all night! Crantius Colto: Plenty of time, my sweet. Plenty of time. From The Lusty Argonian Maid by Crassius Curio found in TES3: Morrowind |
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#1217 | ||
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Afrim, Albania
Posts: 2,113
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![]() This reminds me of the old joke about Albania:
Why Albanian planes do not fly if rains? Cardboard is not water-resistant. Albanian plane crashed and there were news about this accident: ”Today our plane crashed. Pilots, steam operator and coal manager all died.” |
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#1218 | ||
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Baltezers, Latvia
Posts: 432
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![]() another newsflash:
"Today a mongolian kite was shot down by anti air defence. So there's no airforce in Mongolia anymore. having heard about that minister of defence has shot himself. now there's allso no amunition in Mongolia." |
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#1219 | ||
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Valleyfield, Canada
Posts: 4,892
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![]() I fail to understand how the last 3 posts can even remotly be considered as funny...
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#1220 | ||
![]() ![]() ![]() Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 1,127
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![]() Quote:
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