|
10-03-2010, 08:15 AM | #1 | ||
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Highgate, England
Posts: 1,459
|
iPorn
The Internet is for porn. Ever since two computers were first linked together, people have been striving to develop ever more technologically advanced ways to view the ancient act of coitus. The first email sent may have been a meaningless strings of letters, but I'm guessing the second was something along the lines of "tits or gtfo." I'm also willing to bet that half of technology never would've been invented were it not for man's basic drive towards more and better n00dz. It is a natural, beautiful thing.
Even still, despite this immutable fact, Apple decided to betray all that made it great earlier this week when the Hive's worker drones removed all apps from the iPhone’s app store that even vaguely turned them on (Grindr got to stay, so I’m assuming none of them are gay guys...). Casualties included Wobble (which displays a picture from your library - or pair of breasts - that you can wobble by jiggling the iPhone around. Fun), Sexy Scratch Off (kinda self-explanatory, even though you use the touch-screen tech to "wipe" the clothes off. Guess "Sexy Wipe Off" wasn't such a good name, though) and Suicidegirls.com's 'Flip Strip' app, a modern take on the sexy novelty pen (see image below - for those that don't know to which type of pen I am referring, google it). ~~images removed First published by the developer of Wobble, the criteria are pretty draconian, especially considering the plethora of XXX exposed ankles and more to be found one screen tap away on the Internet using iPhone's Opera-Mini or in-built Safari browsers. From Chillifresh.com: Quote:
Sounds like a recipe for innovation. Suicidegirls founder Missy Suicide appeared on telly the other night to discuss the iPorn removal, poking fun at the absurdity of deeming “1920’s pen technology” too hot for iPhone. “We could reformulate and have the girls in Victorian era bathing suits,” she said, “but I don’t know where I could find those.” (She's so funny :/) It seems as if Missy Suicide's google skills could do with a little polish. Perhaps if she typed the words "Victorian bathing suit porn" into a search engine, she would find them... All joking aside, this naked PR move will only backfire on Apple. Its long sought reputation as a young, *kewl* company will evaporate as consumers fed up with censorship let their contracts expire and developers shift their focus to competitor platforms like the Android. As for the children, they will go on downloading midget anal fisting porn, just like always, and parents who rely on corporations to babysit their kids will continue to be horrible human beings. 'Nuff said. Last edited by arete; 11-03-2010 at 05:19 AM. Reason: No pics, PLZ |
||
|
|
10-03-2010, 02:11 PM | #2 | ||
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Nitra, Slovakia
Posts: 6,533
|
so how's claire?
__________________
|
||
|
|
15-03-2010, 04:41 PM | #3 | ||
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Highgate, England
Posts: 1,459
|
|
||
|
|
10-03-2010, 02:23 PM | #4 | ||
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Praha, Czech Republic
Posts: 3,273
|
Eh, I guess hipsters will have to use pc's now to ironically look at porn.
My heart bleeds.
__________________
I have vestigial adventure elements |
||
|
|
10-03-2010, 02:53 PM | #5 | ||
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Valleyfield, Canada
Posts: 4,892
|
I can't stop myself from asking: who cares?
To be frank, you lost as soon as I realized that you were talking about a cell phone. |
||
|
|
15-03-2010, 04:39 PM | #6 | ||
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Highgate, England
Posts: 1,459
|
Quote:
If only people knew what people REALLY thought about things like that... It makes me lol to think of their faces when I show them the evidence. And the people who say those things faces. So you don't give a toss about a phone. Big whoop. Since we're stamping our most intimate and private thoughts on how we compare, if we win or lose and who cares about what: Really, you should be asking - "does saccade give a shit about me..?" If no-one cares, as people say they don't - why the hell do you read it and then say "don't care"..? Pathetic. Have to have a fucking opinion on everything. Even the things you say you can't be arsed to even have an opinion on. I really don't understand. THIS IS CENSORSHIP PEOPLE!!! YOU SHOULD CARE!!! This is THE MAN taking our right to look at people in the act of coitus and denying us through THE CORPORATION! You'll all care when you have your precious things taken away from you. And you know what - I won't care. That is, unless you're WORKING FOR THE MAN, which - to be honest - I can see a few of you doing. You're ripe for the taking and practically begging for the corporate arse-screwing that is coming. Trust me. As ex-Mil, I know about THE MAN and his penchant for screwing arses. Last edited by Saccade; 15-03-2010 at 04:50 PM. Reason: toned down. |
||
|
|
10-03-2010, 05:20 PM | #7 | ||
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Bad Konig, Germany
Posts: 3,565
|
EoF reminded me to check my phone cards for remaining balances.
__________________
|
||
|
|
11-03-2010, 02:32 AM | #8 | ||
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Auckland, New Zealand
Posts: 143
|
i like chatroulette
__________________
"war has changed. its no longer about nations ideologies or ethnicity, its an endless series of proxy battles fought by mercenaries and machines. War, and its consumption of life - has become a well oiled machine" - Solid Snake |
||
|
|
11-03-2010, 03:13 PM | #9 | ||
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Bad Konig, Germany
Posts: 3,565
|
I once tried to play some animeïsh cellphone strip poker games on an emulator, but it didn't work.
__________________
|
||
|
|
11-03-2010, 08:29 PM | #10 | ||
|
I read an editorial the other day that this is some kind of huge act of censorship. I honestly don't care. It's Apple's platform and if they don't want these types of applications on their device, it's their prerogative. Don't like it? Don't buy it. Or just use safari and browse internet porn that way. Problem solved.
|
||
|
|