Well whatever it is you got there, you got it for a good reason and if I was you I wouldn't listen to those who tell you're insane. Insanity is after all a thing which definition is a matter of opinion and varies depending on point of view. Don't give up and continue to search for what it is exactly you have and why, I'm sure it is something unusual you have and it while it might be just explained by some banal reasons, it seems unlikely to me.
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