<cue black screen>
<cue cheesey timpani roll>
<cue lettering>
Abandonia: A Life
<cue emotional swell from orchestra>
<cue clapping and standing ovation from fake audience>
<cue Kosta standing up, receiving an award and saying "You love me! You really love me!>
<cue Tom getting jealous and sniping Kosta from the balcony>
<cue Tom getting beat to death by hundreds of Abandonia fans>
<cue Kosta's funeral and weeping forum members>
<cue 5994 years of world wide depression>
<cue year 8000 AD and scientists resurrecting Kosta and the world being happy again>
<cue Kosta being elected king over the entire world>
<cue Kosta becoming corrupt and enslaving entire human race>
<cue the apocalypse because Kosta ruling the world is definately the final sign of the destruction of man>
<cue meteor striking the earth and everyone dying>
There! That's my version of the history of Abandonia!
