I know Red Diablo will like this one
:
Two boys are playing in a park in Manchester when a huge doberman attacks one of them. The other boy iinstantly grabs the dog and breaks it's neck. A newspaper reporter sees this a runs over to them. He writes on the notepad a headline, "Manchester United fan saves friend from vicious beast."
The boy says "I'm not a Manchester United fan."
So the reporter crosses out the first headline and writes "Manchester City fan saves friend from vicious beast."
"No, you don't understand, I'm a Liverpool supporter."
The reporter writes "Scouse bastard murders family pet."