this game

[dosraider]

R Cerbera LM

Spring rate 4.8/3.9
Ride height 108/108
Damper 5/5
Camber 2/1
Stabiliser 4/4
Brake 8/9
Turbo level none
Gear ratio
1 2.714
2 2.063
3 1.521
4 1.196
5 0.954
6 0.810
Final 3.777
Aerodynamics 057/0.76

Vroooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom vrooooooooooooooooooooom

[AlumiuN]

Hauptmann (IS) -

95 Tons

3 LBX 20 w/ 80 ammo each
1 ER PPC
1 LAMS
1 BAP

Top Speed - 63.03 kph
Heat Sinks - 21

Vrrrboooooom

[Tomekk]

PrimeWarlord Lvl 97 Barbarian

Strenght:350
Dexterirty:50
Vitality:100
Magic:0

Maxed out skills: Whirlwind, Shout, WarCry, Stomp.

Damage:5020-7657 Basic Damage (Left Hand)
4885-7421 Lightning Damage (Right Hand)

Health: 4500
Mana:0
Stamina:567

[AlumiuN]

Yes, but how many Autocannons does it have?

[Tomekk]

Want me to cut your mechs legs off while it's jump jetting?

[Tervez]

Your mech is no match for my customized Mad Cat!

[Blood-Pigggy]

challenge: beat deus ex as a torso with a head

[ysorian]

Challenge met: beats deus ex with ur torso and tervez's head :titan:

[Blood-Pigggy]

Challenge met: beats deus ex with ur torso and tervez's head :titan:

translation in accordance with thread rules

Challenge met: beats deus ex with my torso and my head

retard

[AlumiuN]

Want me to cut your mech's legs off while it's jump jetting?

It doesn't jump. It just kills you. It is second only to Chuck Norris, and he doesn't waste time on mechs.


Your mech is no match for my customized Mad Cat!

Bolshevism. Maybe if you had a whole company of them, otherwise you'd be losing mechs at the rate of approximately 20 per minute.

[Tervez]

Lots of small mechs with lots of guns > One big mech with lots of guns.

[Tomekk]

This Is Not A Freaking Thread About Stupid Mechs So Please Stop!

[_r.u.s.s.]

HAIDUKEN _______

[Blood-Pigggy]

i bought ten gold with ten gold

[AlumiuN]

Lots of small mechs with lots of guns > One big mech with lots of guns.

Three LBX20s > Lots of small mechs with lots of guns.

This Is Not A Freaking Thread About Stupid Mechs So Please Stop!

Are You Perfectly Sure?

[ysorian]

translation in accordance with thread rules



retard

Had a look at thread rules and couldnt find that particular interpretation. Plz enlighten me?

Although if i follow ur line of thinking i think u just called urself a retard?

[Tomekk]

THIS IS SPARTA!!!
*Spartan soldiers capture this post.*

[Tervez]

Too bad they can't get to this post because of the huge chasm between the posts.

[Tomekk]

I give the Spartan's an inter-galactic spaceship, and they invade your post aswell.

THIS IS SPARTA!

Turn end, news:
MASSIVE POPULATION BOOM, Spartans now have 5.7 million soldiers.
Spartans now hold 3 posts under their command, and are going to invade the Mechz.
Tervez forges an alliance with Aluminium.

[AlumiuN]

And we hover our dropships above your planet and bombard your pitiful Spartans with Gauss Rifles.

Welcome To SPARTA
Necrophiliac Heaven

Population: 0

[Tomekk]

Sparta Prime was evacuated, now we're in the Orion system. Good luck on finding us. (In Master of Orion 2, Orion is guarded by the Guardian, which is the most devastating ship in the game.)

Turn end NEWS:
Mechz have pitifully bombarded Sparta Prime, only too waste 200 nuclear bombs for nothing.
Research on Aluminium-Corossion-Accelerator Laser complete.
King Leonidas gains a level! (+100% Space Combat +200% Ground Combat)

[AlumiuN]

The planet of Orion is magically disintegrated by the power of love and sharing.
For the exact reason that I'm not made of aluminium, and that I never used a single nuclear warhead on Sparta Prime.

Turn end:

SPARTA has been obliterated.
Tomekk has been eliminated.
King Leonidas was assassinated by a rifle-wielding midget known only as 'Bob'.

[Tervez]

Tervez has finished building the Death Star.
Tervez proposes an Permanent Alliance with AlumiuN.

[Tomekk]

*T0m3kk Reb0rn3s (Borg) has joined the game!*
*New faction: Borg. Home planet:Borg Central Processing:50 Parsecs away from any known civilization.*

T0m3kk proposes a science, trade and non-agression pact to Tervez.
Borgs have conquered the Andromeda Star-System. (1 red star, 3 gas giants, 1 asteroid field, 1 small oceanic planet with 5 million natives.*

[Blood-Pigggy]

dragonz r dum

[Tomekk]

Random Fight! Dragon(s) encountered!

Dragon attacks! 5673 Fire Damage.
*Blood Piggy has perished*
*Game over*

Load game?
YES
:rolleyes:
NO!!!!

[TheChosen]

Hadouken! Hadouken! Hadouken! Hadouken! Hadouken! Hadouken! Hadouken! Hadouken! Hadouken! Hadouken! Hadouken! Hadouken! Hadouken! Shrouken!



You win!

[AlumiuN]

Tervez has finished building the Death Star.
Tervez proposes an Permanent Alliance with AlumiuN.

Deal. Got enough storage space for a company of mechs and some dropships?

[bobson]

Hadouken-douken-douken !!!

*24 hit special super combo flawless victory fatality animality You win*

*Game over*

Credits:

Director:
Blood-Piggy

Starring:
AluminiuN
TheChosen
Tervez
_r.u.s.s.
Tomekk

screenplay:
dosraider

little something something:
ysorian

Master of All Times High Score Hall Of Fame:
BOB-SATAN

Thank You for p(l)aying

No bytes of memory were harmed during THIS GAME

[AlumiuN]

No, wait, I think there were a lot of bytes of data harmed. Tomekk's spartans, for one.

[bobson]

OK, I got your message. Game is NOT over.
I repeat: game is NOT over.

Please continue and remember:

Master of All Times High Score Hall Of Fame:
BOB-SATAN :thumbs:

[Blood-Pigggy]

there is no high score, only the gay score - and russ wins

[arete]

Make sure you post a screenshot. Just sayin' :whistling:

[Tomekk]

I shall release SHODAN, and cause a System Shock!

http://banditosbanditosbanditos.typepad.com/weblog/WindowsLiveWriter/system%20shock%202.jpg

25 terrabytes of data corrupted.

Forum temporarily down.

----------------------------------()----------------------------------------

[AlumiuN]

It's a pity that this forum is the exact 25 terabytes you didn't delete. :doh:

[Tervez]

One good hacker is all it takes to get SHODAN on her knees.

[Tomekk]

:whistling: I'm running low on money, so i need someone perfect to own this topic :whistling:

[ysorian]

Credits:

Director:
Blood-Piggy

Starring:
AluminiuN
TheChosen
Tervez
_r.u.s.s.
Tomekk

screenplay:
dosraider

little something something:
ysorian

Master of All Times High Score Hall Of Fame:
BOB-SATAN

Thank You for p(l)aying

No bytes of memory were harmed during THIS GAME

I'll give you a little something something!!! :lightsaber:

bugger, that could so easily be misconstrued

[AlumiuN]

What with the lightsaber and all.

[Tervez]

"The size of the object doesn't matter to a true master of the Force."

So why didn't Yoda just crash the Death Star into some star?

[AlumiuN]

Because Yoda was lying.

[Tervez]

Pop quiz! Who is the better villain: Shredder or Dr Doom?

[Tomekk]

Shredder. Who owns you :D

[Tervez]

The little fact that Shredder is virtually immortal might have something to do with it.

[Spoonman]

that's not true, mine shortcircuited a couple of weeks ago after I try to feed it a phonebook :P

[AlumiuN]

Well then, Tomekk, I load my Hauptmann with phone book rounds in its LRM 15 and pound you with it from a kilometre away.

[Tomekk]

Ok, then i use my Class 7 Warlord Battleship, which destroys your stupid mech with a nuclear bomb. Tomekk wins.

[AlumiuN]

Erm... you missed. :bleh: Instead, you blew up your home town.

[Tomekk]

I'm sorry, but my it is impossible for my ship to miss. Maybe I didn't destroy your mech, then i'm gonan hunt you down. Have a nice day.

[Tervez]

WARNING!
The big enemy is approaching at full throttle!
According to the data, it is identified as Mecha Godzilla.

[Tomekk]

I propose an alliance for you two, until this new and unknown enemy is defeated.

*Turn-End News:
New threat detected by long-range sensors.
Tomekk proposes an alliance to Tervez.
Tomekk proposes an alliance to the UNMLA(United Nations of Mechs under Lord Aluminium)

[Spoonman]

*spots giant fuzzy moth-like creature at other side of town*

[Tomekk]

A group of mechs have been dispatched and destroyed the threat.

[Tervez]

Well done Tomekk. I will deal with the moth-like creature.

*Turn end news:
Tervez has started to charge his Ion Cannon. Target is a giant fuzzy moth-like creature. ETA till launch: 30 minutes.

[dosraider]

LULZ.
-The message you .entered is too short, .talking about LULZ.-

[Tomekk]

Turn End News:

A man nicknamed Dosraider was killed by the unknown Fuzzy alien.
Tomekk has completed research on AMJJM(Anti Mech-Jump-Jet Missle). Next in queue was [Top Secret].

[dosraider]

Turn End News:

A man nicknamed Dosraider was killed by the unknown Fuzzy alien.
Final End News:
Dream on.

[Tomekk]

Final End News:
Dream on.

Direct Interference with the game engine detected. Possible Cheating confirmed.

Sorry, you have been banned from this server.

[dosraider]

Sorry, you have been banned from this server.

[Echo modus]
Dream on
[/Echo modus]

[Spoonman]

*Creature now identified as Mothra evades cannon blast and makes a sneak attack*
http://www.emergentchaos.com/images/aug-05/mothra.jpg

[Tomekk]

Turn End news:

*Mothra detected.
*Tomekk is preparing to engage.
*Tervez is preparing to engage.
*Aluminium is F-ing around with his mechs, and has not maneuvered his army, yet.

[AlumiuN]

That's what you think.

*pod of about 500000 missiles hit the rear end of the fuzzy moth thingy*

AlumiuN: No egg laying for you b**ch!

BTW I'm not a lord.

Also BTW:

SUDO Kick BOT_Mothra

[Tomekk]

Turn End News:
-Moth Killed
-Every side gains 5000$ from the city.
-Game continues as normal.

[Tervez]

Hmm. Lots of monster activity now... Better boost up the defense...

Turn End News:
Tervez has bought a White Star.
Tervez has increased security in his empire.

[Spoonman]

umm.. Yes well, about that not-laying-eggs-stuff: I'm afraid you were too late

http://www.onlyinternet.net/awinterrowd/kaiju/gallery/mothra-larva.jpg

[AlumiuN]

*smacks Spoonman over back of head with assault rifle*
*giant worm disappears*

Talk about a runaway imagination.

[Tervez]

Hmm. It seems that Spoonman is responsible for these creatures.

On behalf of the citizens lost in the attack on the city hall, I demand that he is to be judged in front of the Galactic Council.

Turn End News:
Tervez has proposed a meeting of the Galactic Council.

[Spoonman]

Sorry, can't meet. I've been knocked unconscious.

[AlumiuN]

I hit Spoonman over the front of the head with the same assault rifle and gives him an anti-concussion, bringing him round in a similar fashion to a matter/anti-matter collision.

[Tomekk]

Turn End News:
-Tomekk will attend at the Galactic Council's meeting.
-Tomekk has created 666 Inter-Galactic-Star-Destroying-Nukes.
-Tomekk has finished Research on the Stargate. :thumbs:

[TheChosen]

Freelance mercenary/ninja/assassin/thief, TheChosen, is now available at the pub. He's hirable for jobs and squad leading.

[Tomekk]

Turn End News:
-Tomekk hires TheChosen for 1200 Credits now, and 2000 credits per mission.
-TheChosen has been assigned to lead a squad of Cyborg-Infiltrators.

[_r.u.s.s.]

i blizzard your noob army

[Tomekk]

Unknown N00b has hacked this game! Let's kill him!
*_r.u.s.s has been assassinated by TheChosen*

[_r.u.s.s.]

tomekk you should know that god playing is considered gay, therfore you are excommunicated into a gay bar and forced to pick up 3 soaps a hour

[Tomekk]

I'm not playing god, but we 3 have vast empires in space and armies of Mechwarriors. And your just one pityful _r.u.s.s :bleh:
*TheChosen has gained a level +50 to Espionage +75 to accuracy and +100 to agility.*

[_r.u.s.s.]

how is the bending going?

[Sebatianos]

Which still leaves him thousands of points behind, when I pull the plug on you without you ever being able to save the game...

That will teach you to be mean to my friend _r.u.s.s. :bleh:

[AlumiuN]

*owned* :laugh:

[Tervez]

Despite the efforts of some... persons, the Galactic Council has now gathered to pass judgment on Spoonman.

Votes for punishment so far:
Tervez

Votes for no punishment so far:

Abstain:
Vorlons

[Tomekk]

Tomekk and the Orions vote for PUNISHMENT!

[Spoonman]

does not differ between good or evil and therefore declares the trial fully declinable *tends his bumps on both headsides*

[Tomekk]

You are a traitor of the entire galaxy and shall not listened to! *Everyone nods*

[AlumiuN]

Keeelllll Heeeeem!

[TheChosen]

OBJECTION!

This trial is a mockery and slap to the face of justice! I demand that case will be dismissed, as there are no clear evidence of spoonman being guilty!

TheChosen offers his attourney services to spoonman.

[Tomekk]

*Doom-Star class Space-Ships appear and teleport Tomekk, TC and Spoonman on the ship.*

-Let's get out of here already.

*Jump-Gate opens*.
*Space-Ship turns around and blasts the Council with some Nukes.*
*Space-Ship passes through gate and the gate disappears.*

Turn End News:
-Tomekk has been declared a traitor of the Orions and the Galaxy. (SO F-ING WHAT?)

[Spoonman]

Ah young people.. so fragile, so easily influenced

[sgtboat]

I win, I always win. If I think Im losing I pull a kirk and change the rules in my favor.
"peace through superior firepower"
Go Army beat Navy
Hooaah:max:

[Tomekk]

Sgtboat's fleet has been vaporized by my Black-Hole ^^

Ohh, and thanks for your post Spoonman, I'll drop you too, but in our sun instead.

[AlumiuN]

And Tomekk and TC are sucked in to Tomekk's black hole. Remember kids, playing with singularities is almost as dangerous as playing with fire, and there won't be any firemen to extinguish your charred carcass.

[Tervez]

This treachery has gone long enough. The Plan must be put into motion.

Execute order 66.

I hope that AlumiuN will honor our deal.

Turn End News:
- All the Jedi's in Tervez's Empire have died in mysterious circumstances.

[Tomekk]

The Orions have broken all off their treaties with Tervez and are attacking with full force while Tomekk is enjoying a cocktail with TC. :nuts:

Turn end News:
-Orions declare War against Tervez. :max:
-Tervez has been attacked, and his empire is severly weakened. :thumbs:
-Tervez is rumored to have allied with Aluminium.

[TheChosen]

TheChosen has terminated the contract with Tomekk, saying that working for him right now is a bad choice.

End turn news:
-TheChosen is once again hireable for assassinations, squad leading, spying and acting as a lawyer.

[Spoonman]

Thou can throwest me in the fires of the sun, but I shall return even more strongereth

http://draconusdictum.files.wordpress.com/2007/04/fire_elemental.jpg

HUGE fire elemental spotted

[AlumiuN]

This treachery has gone long enough. The Plan must be put into motion.

Execute order 66.

I hope that AlumiuN will honor our deal.

Turn End News:
- All the Jedi's in Tervez's Empire have died in mysterious circumstances.

Which plan was that? If it was the one where we kill everything that moves that is allied with Tomekk, it sounds good to me.

I also extend my endless monies to TheChosen for contract killing of Tomekk's military personal and personal lawyering.

[Tomekk]

w00t you haz haxx? Endless muney w00t?

[Tervez]

...

No, of course not, Order 66 means that you are supposed to bake cookies for charity. Of course it's the plan where we attack!

And stop telling people about the endless money thing! It's bad for publicty!

[Tomekk]

Ahh f-it, If you kill me i'll Ascend with the Ancients and will just watch as you will kill each-other off :thumbs:

[AlumiuN]

:doh: I've bought them out already.

[TheChosen]

Two of your oxen drowned when you tried to cross the river!

[Tomekk]

And some of your empires stupid rats are eating my spaceship's cables!

[AlumiuN]

:laugh: MWAHAHAHAHAHA!

@Chosen: I have no oxen. Well, no oxen capable of drowning...

[Tomekk]

And today's news:

A renegade Orions ship has misteriously crashed on Gamma Prime. The capt. claimed it was because of rats.

[TheChosen]

http://onastick.net/drew/sinistar/sinhead.gif

Sinistar has appeared on this side of the galaxy! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S-XEINagmaU)

"Beware! I live!"
"I hunger!"

TheChosen urges AlumiuN to hold intergalactic meeting. We must be united if we intend to destroy this hellish creature!

[Tomekk]

Hmm.... I bought 50 miles of cable,starting repairs. so I might just get there in time.

*Starts engaging warp-drives when he spots SiniStar.*

-Engage the enemy!
*Starts charging beams all men at their station*
-Open fire!!!
-MAYDAYYYYY!!!!!!!
*Massive explosion*

[AlumiuN]

-- Turn end:

Everybody is sleeping except AlumiuN. He takes the opportunity to assassinate Tomekk. Again.

[Tomekk]

Aluminium was spotted near Tomekk's ship, and was neutralised with a Hyper-Beam. *STOP ASSASSINATING MEEE!!*

[AlumiuN]

Aluminium was spotted near Tomekk's ship, and was neutralised with a Hyper-Beam. *STOP ASSASSINATING MEEE!!*

I'm sorry, I can't help it. It's just so much fun! :sniper: Gotcha again.

[Tomekk]

Thank you for killing my android-twin, he was such a pain in the ass.

*Target: AlumiuM*
*Hyper-Beam activated*
*Target neutralised*


You have perished! Load Game?
Yes!!!
:rolleyes:
NO!!!

[AlumiuN]

Thank you for killing my non-android double. He wasn't a pain in my ass, simply a scapegoat. :sniper: :sniper: :sniper: There, I got you and all of your doubles. :thumbs:

[Tervez]

Hello all! I'm back on my throne again!

Turn End News:
Tervez has returned from his trek to a secret location.

[Tomekk]

"And, on the 10th day, God said: Let this topic be active again!"

[Fubb]

You encounter a Level 3 SNES!

the SNES Attacks you!

[Blood-Pigggy]

Fubb releases extra large 50 mile micropen1s smallest of large micropen1s.

EDITED TO BYPASS FILTER HAHAHA

[The_Lemming]

Suddenly you find yourself attacked by an army of giant Lemmings that are screaming:

"LET THIS TOPIC RETURN TO LIFE!"

[El Quia]

While trying to sneak past all this mess, I roll a 00 on my D100

[The_Lemming]

Then a cage from Mouse Trap descends, trapping you, because I turned the crank.

[El Quia]

I deftly pick the lock of the cage, and subrepticiously sneak away, sighting with relief

[The_Lemming]

However, you are then captured by my rook. Check!

[AlumiuN]

I roll a natural 20 and kick your a$$.

[The_Lemming]

But then you find yourself double-jumped, along with El Quia, from behind. King me!

[El Quia]

I take advantage of my fire immunity and I cast a maximized fireball so as to catch both The_Lemming and AlumiuN

[The_Lemming]

Unfortunately, on your next turn, you land on Boardwalk, which has one of MY hotels on it.

That will be $2,750!

[El Quia]

I give you a fake ID, saying I'm AlumiuN, so the debt goes to him.

[AlumiuN]

I pull out my M82A1 and blow your heads off. $2750 my ass.

[Simoneer]

Did I just win? Hurray.

[AlumiuN]

Don't even think about it, I've got your head in my sights too.

[El Quia]

I raise from the dead as a zombie, and I eat AlumiuN's brain

[Simoneer]

Oh... snappleterror.

*Throws on a Ghillie suit and runs off into a meadow*

[AlumiuN]

I raise from the dead as a zombie, and I eat AlumiuN's brain

How can you eat a robot's brain? :sniper: And you die again.

[The_Lemming]

An underground lab collects a sample of my DNA and clones me.

Soon afterward, a giant laser cannon obliterates you, and I then capture El Quia with my 10 (from the game Stratego).

[El Quia]

I mutate into teenage mutant ninja turtle (OMG!!! NOOOOO!!!!) and I escape into the sewers. I try to eat pizza, but the enviroment doesn't help on all the keeping the food clean of s**t part.


In a hunger spree, I kill AlumiN and The_Lemming, turning back to normal at last.

[AlumiuN]

And I snipe you off again for spelling my name wrong. :sniper::sniper::sniper::sniper::sniper::sniper::s niper::sniper::sniper::sniper::sniper::sniper::sni per::sniper::sniper::sniper::sniper::sniper::snipe r::sniper::sniper::sniper::sniper::sniper::sniper: :sniper::sniper::sniper::sniper::sniper::sniper::s niper::sniper::sniper::sniper::sniper::sniper::sni per::sniper: MWAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

[The_Lemming]

However, I then play 50 sets of RISK cards, giving me:
:sniper::sniper::sniper::sniper::sniper::sniper::s niper::sniper::sniper::sniper::sniper::sniper::sni per::sniper::sniper::sniper::sniper::sniper::snipe r::sniper::sniper::sniper::sniper::sniper::sniper: :sniper::sniper::sniper::sniper::sniper::sniper::s niper::sniper::sniper::sniper::sniper::sniper::sni per::sniper::sniper::sniper::sniper::sniper::snipe r::sniper::sniper::sniper::sniper::sniper::sniper: :sniper::sniper::sniper::sniper::sniper::sniper::s niper::sniper::sniper::sniper::sniper::sniper::sni per::sniper::sniper::sniper::sniper::sniper::

[El Quia]

having realized that everyone is having fun with my double, I sneakly sneak past everybody and return home satisfied, with all the loot safely invested in profitable ventures

[The_Lemming]

However, outside your home, you find:

:rocket::pwnd:
:minigun::titan::borg::borg::borg::sniper:MY ARMY OF FULLY TRAINED MEN
:hammer::boxing::boxing::boxing::boxing::boxing:
:pac::pac::pac::lynch::akimbo:
:ninja::ninja::ninja::ninja::ninja:
:ninja::ninja::ninja::ninja::ninja:
And ME: :lightsaber:

[AlumiuN]

And me.

http://www.solaris7.com/Images/TRO/BattleMechs/Hauptmann.jpg

EDIT: And I should point out that this Hauptmann Battlemech is approximately 15 metres tall.

[_r.u.s.s.]

this game used to be so good :(

[El Quia]

because nobody knows where I live, all of you are surrounding _r.u.s.s. house.

[The_Lemming]

One flaw in that, El Quia........

r.u.s.s. lives in Slovakia, and you live in Argentina......

Don't think we would get them mixed up......

But anyway, you just don't know that we are out there, because we have a cloaking device............

UNTIL WE SUDDENLY DECLOAK AND REVEAL THAT YOUR HOUSE IS SURROUNDED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[El Quia]

Maybe you know I live in Argentina and _r.u.s.s. in Slovakia because THAT is what They want you to know.... :o

[The_Lemming]

Well, even if that's what "they" want us to know, we made sure it was your house by checking the location via IP address ping.

And my mob of red emoticons are now screaming, "CHAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGEEEEEEE!"

[El Quia]

Ping request could not find host [El Quia's IP]. Please check the name and try again.

[The_Lemming]

Oh, and by the way, it wasn't ONLY an IP ping we used to locate you...

We put a tracking device inside your belt buckle a while back, before you tried going to your house, way back when I captured you with my 10 from Stratego.

[El Quia]

That was my double. Or triple. Or whatever, I lost my count.