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[Danny252]

A kind word and a gun will get you alot further than a kind word alone...
but I dont get much respect, even if I give it out. I just get promoted to spamking...

[wormpaul]

Originally posted by Danny252@Feb 20 2005, 06:58 PM
A kind word and a gun will get you alot further than a kind word alone...
but I dont get much respect, even if I give it out. I just get promoted to spamking...

Still is you're name:

Call me god...


Maybe change to SPAMKING admins??

[Sebatianos]

Originally posted by Schabernakel-anbeter@Feb 20 2005, 06:17 PM
im a bit confused :crazy:

is it respect you are talking about

Yes, we are talking about respect.

What you're talking about is the classic case that Machiavelli mentioned in his Prince.

You can not make others feel possitive about you, but you can make them fear you.
So many people think that respect comes from strength and fear, but it's not so.
Ask your self this - how do you show someone that you respect them? It's easy - you treat them as you would like to be treated. How do you make people respect you? You can't. You can make them fear you, but that's about it. You can only set a good example and if they recognise it, they will start respecting you. So respect has nothing to do with fear - it's quite the oposite.
If I earned somebodys respect they will stand up for me when I'm in trouble adn would even risk to get hurt. Good example would be from the movie "The Pianist". They respected him for being an artist - and so they risked by pulling him out of the line and the officer didn't kill him. That was respect.
Fear would mean, that once people aren't scared of you any more they will try and take their revange. Fear produces negative feelings, respect is a positive feeling.
Hope this clears it up.

[Schabernakel-anbeter]

i think you got good friends :Tom:

but why are you talking about people risk their health for you

this makes others respect you, cause they fear you :crazy:

...

respect should be another word for acception

or, the best way to respect people is to ignore them k:

anyhow :bye:

[Sebatianos]

I doubt very much there's a single person in the world who fears me (that includes my pupils - they might be afraid of the test, but not of me).
There are people that dislike me, yet they have done me a favour or two, because they respected me and had faith in me. They didn't like me, but respected my work, so they knew I'd do a good job - so they helped me (and they gained nothing from it, but the job was well done). I ofcourse gave credit to them too (although I didn't like them). We werent a team, but we worked together in that case, because we had mutual respect (I too knwe that the support of that person would be very helpful to me - although I'd prefer if it would come from somebody else).

[Mentor]

Respect is one of those extremely opinion-based things, and I think a lot of you don't really know what respect actually is. Respect is to show differential regard or esteem to something or someone, or to avoid violation or interferance with something.

A lot of you guys are using the word "respect" to mean "common courtesy", which is don't crap on your neighbor's lawn, in layman's terms. You only "respect" someone if you hold them in extremely high regard, and you only show "respect" when you give someone a wide berth to do as they please.

Every human being on the planet deserves common courtesy, as per their status as human beings. That means that you don't go out of your way to piss someone off or to otherwise cause them misery. However, nobody DESERVES respect. Respect is earned and gained through tireless effort, not because of status.

That is the mindset I had to deal with for years in High School, where teachers that weren't worth the paper their diplomas were printed on demanded that I respect them. Just because you're a principal, or a manager, or the president or king of a nation, doesn't mean you deserve anything except the common courtesy that everyone else deserves. And if you think you deserve respect, then you obviously do not.

It's kinda like the old adage that only those who don't want to have power should have it, becuase they are less likely to abuse it and more likely to do a good job. Yeah, it's a generalization, but it makes perfect sense, in my mind.

[taikara]

@Mentor:

I think that is an excellent point, and thank you for bringing it up, as it is the sort of respect I was curious about when I posted this topic.

Courtesy and respect are two different things, but in some ways, they also go hand in hand. I personally am courteous to people I dislike, and respectful to those I love.

Courtesy for me is simply a way to not burn bridges. You never know when someone you dislike could turn around and earn your respect, causing you to re-evaluate your feelings for them.

[ReamusLQ]

I remember I went out on a date with this really gorgeous girl, and I did all of these things with out really thinking about it, such as opening her door for her, holding the door to the restaurant, holding her chair, etc. All of these things that seemed natural to me. At the end of the night when I walked her to her doorstep, she almost started crying on my shoulder saying how I was the first guy that ever opened her door for her, or walked her to the doorstep, or anything like that. She told me I was the first guy she had ever gone on a date with who respected her, and wasn't just trying to get her into bed. To me, everything I did seemed like not that big a deal, just something a guy should do. I actually did it without thinking, because it seemed so normal.

Yes, it's rare now that people treat other people like that. But I wonder why she seemingly never encountered that someone did the same for her. I thought this is altogether a usual thing (just like you) to treat women polite, and that at least usually men do the same...

[Sebatianos]

Originally posted by Mentor@Feb 21 2005, 12:47 AM
A lot of you guys are using the word "respect" to mean "common courtesy", which is don't crap on your neighbor's lawn, in layman's terms. You only "respect" someone if you hold them in extremely high regard, and you only show "respect" when you give someone a wide berth to do as they please.

that's true and I agree with that (although I was one of the people who were making a connection between both). The connection is there, but respect is much more then that (that's just a way of showing some common respect to a fellow human being).
But I started making this point as the contrary to the statemants that respect is gained by violence and money (that's a new thread now - seperated from this one).
Respect in my opinion is also giving someone the benefit of a doubt.
OK - enough from me, as I probably won't have much more to add. If I do you'll hear from me again.