13-08-2005, 06:12 PM | #1031 | ||
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: ,
Posts: 690
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Sounds like something I think I would do. Way to go! k:
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13-08-2005, 09:09 PM | #1032 | ||
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: ,
Posts: 17
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Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day. Apparently it had been a pretty busy day, though, so Peter had to tell the first one, "Heaven's getting pretty close to full today, and I've been asked to admit only people who have had particularly horrible deaths. So what's your story?"
The first man replies: "Well, for a while I've suspected my wife has been cheating on me, so today I came home early to try to catch her red-handed. As I came into my 25th floor apartment, I could tell something was wrong, but all my searching around didn't reveal where this other guy could have been hiding. Finally, I went out to the balcony, and sure enough, there was this man hanging off the railing, 25 floors above ground! By now I was really mad, so I started beating on him and kicking him, but wouldn't you know it, he wouldn't fall off. So finally I went back into my apartment and got a hammer and starting hammering on his fingers. Of course, he couldn't stand that for long, so he let go and fell -- but even after 25 stories, he fell into the bushes, stunned but okay. I couldn't stand it anymore, so I ran into the kitchen, grabbed the fridge and threw it over the edge where it landed on him, killing him instantly. But all the stress and anger got to me, and I had a heart attack and died there on the balcony." "That sounds like a pretty bad day to me," said Peter, and let the man in. The second man came up and Peter explains to him about heaven being full, and again asks for his story. "It's been a very strange day," he replies. "You see, I live on the 26th floor of my apartment building, and every morning I do my exercises out on my balcony. Well, this morning I must have slipped or something, because I fell over the edge. But I got lucky, and caught the railing of the balcony on the floor below me. I knew I couldn't hang on for very long, when suddenly this man burst out onto the balcony. I thought for sure I was saved, when he started beating on me and kicking me. I held on the best I could until he ran into the apartment and grabbed a hammer and started pounding on my hands. Finally I just let go, but again I got lucky and fell into the bushes below, stunned but all right. Just when I was thinking I was going to be okay, this refrigerator comes falling out of the sky and crushes me instantly, and now I'm here." Once again, Peter had to concede that it sounded like a pretty horrible death. The third man came to the front of the line, and again the whole process was repeated. Peter explained that heaven was full and asked for his story. "Picture this," says the third man, "I'm hiding naked inside a refrigerator..." |
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13-08-2005, 09:14 PM | #1033 | ||
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Shella, Kenya
Posts: 1,001
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hehe...I've heard that one...it makes me smile
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14-08-2005, 08:54 AM | #1034 | ||
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Ljutomer, Slovenia
Posts: 3,883
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This one might loose something in the translation, but here goes:
Two goldfishes meet. First one is very happy and joyful, but the other one is all swolen and in pain. Fish 1: What's wrong with you? Fish 2: You woldn't believe it. This guy cought me and I said to him 'If you let me go, I'll grant you a wish'. Fish 1: And what's so bad about it? fish 2: He didn't believe me and just tosed me back saying 'NO muck'. Original (just the punch line): Riba 1: Pa to i nije tako strašno. Riba 2: Nije mi vjerovao, pa me je bacio natrag u more i rekao mi: 'Ma daj ne seri.' :roflol: |
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14-08-2005, 10:18 AM | #1035 | ||
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Abdurrazak, Afghanistan
Posts: 229
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well it lost something in the translation..but the original is great LOL
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14-08-2005, 12:20 PM | #1036 | ||
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Ljutomer, Slovenia
Posts: 3,883
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Hey, another one who understands Slavic languages - WELCOME!
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14-08-2005, 01:34 PM | #1037 | ||
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Abdurrazak, Afghanistan
Posts: 229
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Well,Im actually czech.but slovenian laungage is just far too different so i get just few words.luckily very similar joke is told i here.
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14-08-2005, 05:42 PM | #1038 | ||
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: ,
Posts: 690
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A guy walks up to a chick and says, Hey, don't I know you?
The chick says, Perhaps in name only, for you are too stupid to know anyone. As usual, the guy doesn't get it. |
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14-08-2005, 06:54 PM | #1039 | ||
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Baltezers, Latvia
Posts: 432
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perhaps it's because I'm a guy, but neither do I. :blink:
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14-08-2005, 06:58 PM | #1040 | ||
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: ,
Posts: 690
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The chick thinks the guy is too stupid to convince anyone to sleep with him.
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