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[Sebatianos]

You want twisted sadistic jokes? Off course you do!!!

How do you put a baby in a meat grinder?
With feet first - to see the faces it makes when it starts to hurt!

What's worse then seven babies in one garbage can?
One baby in seven cans!

A proud young mother takes her baby to a medical checkup, but the doctor forgets to weigh the baby. On the way back she went to the butcher's to get some meat and thought ?He has a large enough scale - why shouldn't he weigh the baby'. The butcher agrees and takes the baby in the back room. After four minutes he says to the woman:
"It wighs four pounds - boneless..."

[TaloN]

ahahahhahahah i think i wet myself.

i would put the joke about what makes women scream and hte homesick period but there just over the edge imo

[Unknown Hero]

Originally posted by a1s@Apr 8 2005, 04:06 PM
on the subject of "road" jokes:
why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
he didn't have the guts!

Another one about road that I made by myself.

Why didn't a cripple cross the road?
He didn't make it to the other side before the car arived.

[Sean]

Originally posted by Unknown Hero+Apr 8 2005, 08:48 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Unknown Hero @ Apr 8 2005, 08:48 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-a1s@Apr 8 2005, 04:06 PM
on the subject of "road" jokes:
why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
he didn't have the guts!

Another one about road that I made by myself.

Why didn't a cripple cross the road?
He didn't make it to the other side before the car arived. [/b][/quote]
A bit long but it was ok k:

[Unknown Hero]

Originally posted by Magic+Apr 8 2005, 11:26 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Magic @ Apr 8 2005, 11:26 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'>

Another one about road that I made by myself.

Why didn't a cripple cross the road?
He didn't make it to the other side before the car arived.

A bit long but it was ok k: [/b][/quote]
It's a bit long because I had to explain everything. In real life I will just say 'He didn't make it to the other side', and then if somebody don't understand it, I will explain it.

[Sean]

A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer (also a blonde). The cop asked to see the blonde's driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated. "What does it look like?" she finally asked. The policewoman replied, "It's square and it has your picture on it." The driver finally found a square mirror, looked at it, and handed it to the policewoman. "Here it is," she said. The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "Okay, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop."

A drunk says to the bartender, "I want a woman!" So, the bartender gives him directions to the local brothel. The customer was so drunk, he misreads the directions and accidentally goes into the office of a foot doctor. The receptionist at the counter asks, "Can I help you?" "Yes, I want some service," states the drunk. She sends him to one of the examination rooms and tells him to put it on the table. The drunk goes in and places his manhood on the exam table. When the doctor comes in, the startled podiatrist sees the man's member on the table and she says, "That's not a foot!" The drunk replies, "Give it time, lady, give it time."

Q: What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around in pain on the ground?
A: Shoot him again

A man wakes up one morning with a huge erection that just won't go away. After a couple of days, he is really concerned, so he puts on the baggiest pair of trousers he can find and heads for the drug store. He enters the store and goes to the pharmaceutical section. The lady there asks if she might help him. He asks to see a male pharmacist. The woman tells him that there is no male pharmacist. The man starts to leave. The woman says, "Wait a minute, sir, I am a registered pharmacist, as is my sister, and we own the store. We are very professional and discreet and accustomed to personal problems of all kinds." The guy is desperate. He edges up to the counter, unzips his trousers, and gets out his rather stiff member. He then says, "What can you give me for this?" The woman says, "How long has it been that way?" The man responds, "Almost three days." The woman says, "I will have to consult with my sister, and I'll be right back. She leaves and returns in a few minutes. The man asks, "What did you decide?" She says, "The best we can do right now is $5,000 and a half interest in the drug store."

[Hkizzle]

Superman is flying over NY.
Suddenty he notices Wonderwoman, naked on the beach, with spread legs.
He thinks "wow this is my occasion, i will be so fast that she will not even understand what's going on"
Then Superman, like a plane, falls directly on her, he makes sex in 2 seconds, and flies away.

Wonderwoman says: "what's going on?"
The invisible man says: I don't know, but i have a huge pain in the behind...."

[Hkizzle]

Three guys and a girl are marooned on a desert island. After one week, the girl is so ashamed of what she' s doing, she kills herself.

After another week, the guys are so ashamed of what they' re doing, they bury her.

After another week, they' re so ashamed of what they' re doing, they dig her up again.

[Hkizzle]

A woman went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large, beautiful parrot. There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00.
" Why so little," she asked the pet store owner.

The owner looked at her and said, " Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a house of prostitution, and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff."


The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird anyway. She took it home and hung the bird' s cage up in her living room and waited for it to say something.


The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said, " New house, new madam."


The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought " that' s really not so bad."


When her two teenage daughters returned from school the bird saw and said, " New house, new madam, new girls." The girls and the woman were
a bit offended but then began to laugh about the situation considering how and where the parrot had been raised.


Moments later, the woman' s husband Keith came home from work.

The bird looked at him and said, " Hi, Keith" .

[Sean]

Nice jokes HKizzle