04-04-2005, 06:49 PM
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#621 | ||
    Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Wimbledon, England
Posts: 1,624
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04-04-2005, 07:02 PM
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#622 | ||
 Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Ljutomer, Slovenia
Posts: 3,883
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A blonde goes to a store to buy some fruits and vegetables. Looking at all the cucumbers, carrots, bananas,... she starts feeling really horny. She rushes out of the store and grabs the first guy she sees by the arm:
"Buddy I've got an ichypussy.! "Sorry can't help you. Can't tell those Japanesee cars apart." |
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04-04-2005, 07:13 PM
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#623 | ||
  Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: ,
Posts: 342
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ok.... French have belgians , canadians have newfies, lebanese have syrians,arabs are the victims of all , pakis..... but all the jokes would be racial so we need to find something for abandonnia : there was this racist guy who owned an appliance store and he had a sign saying : 'sorry we dont serve Hotu members' A hotu fanatic passes by and sees the sign he goes crazy deciding to fool him he goes in He sais : i want to buy this TV the other answerd : i am sorry we dont sell stuff to hotu the guy looks at him all :blink: thinking how did he know? the next day he comes wearing drag (as in dragqueen) he looks at the owner and says : i want to buy this TV the other answerd : i am sorry look at the sign we dont sell stuff to hotu The third day, he comes wearing a long beard with a hat with big glasses and everything and he says : i want to buy this TV . the other answerd : i am sorry we dont sell stuff to hotu The customer all :ranting: says how on earth did u know ?????? the shopowner says : It is a FRIDGE. Again funnier in arabic |
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04-04-2005, 07:24 PM
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#624 | ||
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Ljutomer, Slovenia
Posts: 3,883
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The way I heard it - that guy wanted to buy a record-player (for LPs... does anybody remember what are those? ... or he wanted to buy an accordion).
Both cases he went into a hardware store and was looking either at a stove (a four LP record player) or a radiatord (that big warm accordion you got hanging on the wall). |
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04-04-2005, 07:33 PM
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#625 | ||
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Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: ,
Posts: 342
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ok this one i am sure is 100% middle east.no one knows it... sick sens of humour
a guy's wife was giving birth, the doctor asked her to push, she pushed so hard that the baby flew away through the window and landed on the street. Everybody griefed but life goes on... they tried again the doctor asked her to push she pushed and there goes the baby flying away. The husband got really mad and decided to become a goal keeper so he could next time save his child. he starts off small then little by little he joined the french league then german then JUVE :bleh: anyway he becomes the best keeper in the world. His wife is now giving birth to her third child.. the doctor asked her to push she pushed the baby flew away ... the husband jumped caught it rolled again and again and saved the baby... everybody applauded and shouted..the husband got so excited that he threw the baby and goal kicked him.... translation is HARD!!! |
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04-04-2005, 07:39 PM
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#626 | ||
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Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Shella, Kenya
Posts: 576
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I like it!  |
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04-04-2005, 07:39 PM
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#627 | ||
 Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Kotor, Serbia and Montenegro
Posts: 154
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Quote:
 :roflol: LOL |
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04-04-2005, 07:40 PM
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#628 | ||
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Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Telford, England
Posts: 1,303
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lmao thats funny
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I liked the old forum.. =/ |
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04-04-2005, 07:47 PM
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#629 | ||
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Ljutomer, Slovenia
Posts: 3,883
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REally funny, but I knew that one :whistle:
I prefer the version when she's not pushing babies - but has to throw her baby off the burning house. The goal-keeper catches it and WHAM! I found out a long time ago, that if you wish to tell a joke no-one has ever heard you must make it up your self. Two probles - they usually aren't that funny, and there's no guaranty that no-one had heard it already. Maybe it's just you who haven't heard it yet. So I made up some jokes of my own (hope they're amusing at least). Ancient Greece a village of Kentaors (half horse - half men). A young Kentaor leaves his village to study medicine with the great healer Hypocrates. A few years latter he returns and finds his good friend bleeding with an arrow in the chest. "Help me" says the friend. "I know you too good for that. You won't be able to pay me." "But I'm gonna die!" "So? No money - no help." Then that friends thinks really hard and says: "Well you studied with Hipocrates. What about his oath?" "That doesn't apply for vets!" |
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04-04-2005, 07:58 PM
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#630 | ||
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Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: ,
Posts: 342
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LOL Very good.
:ranting: this one i am sure u havent heard before!!! Two friends went hunting in a forest at 5AM. one of them wanted to pee so he found a cozy corner and unzipped ...but suddenly a snake bit him where it hurts the most.... the guy panicked started to shout.... the other guy grabbed his cell and called the doctor : Doctor doctor my friend got bit by a snake what should we do? -easy dont panick just suck the poison out . the hurt friend turn to the other guy and aks : so what did the doctor tell you?? -I am sorry but You are a dead man.... |
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