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[ReamusLQ]

Why can't Helen Keller drive?

Because she's a woman.

[Sebatianos]

Hmm...
Reamus, I guess what you're trying to say is, that she can't drive, because her egoistic husband smashed the car and it's in the repair shop right now :bleh:

Adam: God, why did you have to make Eve so beautiful?
God: So you'd fall in love with her.
Adam: Then why did you have to make her so stupid?
God: Because otherwise she couldn't fall in love with you!

[troop18546]

Damn thats funny... LOL

[Stebbi]

HAHAH LOL

[Wika_woo]

LOL... 2 funny! LOL k:

[allyfaucet]

Originally posted by ReamusLQ@Sep 7 2005, 02:06 PM
Why can't Helen Keller drive?

Because she's a woman.

:O!
You stole my joke! :bleh:

[ReamusLQ]

Originally posted by allyfaucet+Sep 7 2005, 07:25 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (allyfaucet @ Sep 7 2005, 07:25 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-ReamusLQ@Sep 7 2005, 02:06 PM
Why can't Helen Keller drive?

Because she's a woman.

:O!
You stole my joke! :bleh: [/b][/quote]
did not, I heard that LONG before you told it to me!

Pickup line Comebacks!

Man: “Haven’t we met before?”
Woman: “Perhaps. I’m the receptionist at the VD Clinic.”

Man: “Haven’t I seen you someplace before?
Woman: “Yeah, that’s why I don’t go there anymore.”

Man: “Is this seat empty?”
Woman: “Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.”

Man: “So, wanna go back to my place ?”
Woman: “Well, I don’t know. Will two people fit under a rock?”

Man: “Your place or mine?”
Woman: “Both. You go to yours and I’ll go to mine.”

Man: “I’d like to call you. What’s your number?”
Woman: “It’s in the phone book.”

Man: “But I don’t know your name.”
Woman: “That’s in the phone book too.”

Man: “So what do you do for a living?”
Woman: “I’m a female impersonator.”

Man: “Hey, baby, what’s your sign?”
Woman: “Do not Enter”

Man: “How do you like your eggs in the morning?”
Woman: “Unfertilized !”

Man: “Hey, come on, we’re both here at this bar for the same reason”
Woman: “Yeah! Let’s pick up some girls!”

Man: “I know how to please a woman.”
Woman: “Then please leave me alone.”

Man: “I want to give myself to you.”
Woman: “Sorry, I don’t accept cheap gifts.”

Man: “If I could see you naked, I’d die happy:
Woman: “Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I’d probably die laughing”.

Man: “Your body is like a temple.”
Woman: “Sorry, there are no services today.”

Man: “I’d go through anything for you.”
Woman: “Good! Let’s start with your bank account.”

Man: “I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: “Yes, but would you stay there?

[allyfaucet]

LOL I'll have to use some of those on you sometime...

[ReamusLQ]

Oh come on! Give me SOME credit! I am too smooth and have too much respect for girls than to use some stupid pickup line.

[allyfaucet]

Benefits of Being Female (aside from the obvious one :angel: )

* We got off the Titanic first.
* We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.
* When we buy a vibrator, it's sexy. When men buy a blow-up doll, it's pathetic.
* Our boyfriends' clothes look elfin and gorgeous on us -- guys look like complete idiots in ours.
* We can be groupies.
* Male groupies are stalkers.
* We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game.
* Taxis stop for us.
* Men die sooner, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.
* We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
* Free drinks.
* Free dinners.
* We can hug our friends without wondering if they think we're gay.
* We know the truth about whether size matters.
* New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.
* Condoms make no significant difference in our enjoyment of sex.
* It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower. * We don't fart to amuse ourselves.
* If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
* We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her behind.
* If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.
* We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
* We have the ability to dress ourselves.
* We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.
* We have an excuse to be totally cranky at least once a month.
* We can talk to people of the opposite sex without automatically picturing them naked.
* If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.
* Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.
* There are times when chocolate really can solve all our problems.
* Gay waiters don't make us uncomfortable.
* We'll never regret piercing our ears.
* We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
* We'll never discover we've been duped by a Wonderbra.