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[Luchsen]

>Summon Poodleduke

"You doodlepuke ('to draw really sloppily') 'Poodleduke' on the floor,

Originally Posted by Lulu_Jane

You wave your arms about in what you assume is a mystical way and chant the words of deep and ancient magic in an attempt to summon the Bohemian Screech Cow [Poodleduke].

Black oily smoke begins to curl out from the book like thick coiling pythons, from somewhere far away you begin to hear the steady pulsating thud thud thud of prehistoric drums. The drums get louder. The smoke covers everything around you with a greasy and primeval malevolence, it obscures your vision completely. You can hear Gary Owens coughing far far away in the distance somewhere.

From within the twisting undulating black smoke you see the form of The Bohemian Screech Cow [Poodleduke] take shape, heris red eyes glow like coals from hell and heris teeth glisten and drip with freshly chewed satanic grass. The Bohemian Screech Cow [sic] takes a quick look around the room, rolls her eyes and expertly roundhouse kicks you in the head.

You are [not] knocked unconscious.

You [are] awaken in a large gold paneled room. The Bohemian Screech Cow is sitting in front of you, she is wearing a large turban and smoking an elegant water pipe. You smell the pungent grass of from the water pipe and Gary Owens is nowhere to be seen.

further summoning of Poodleduke like you summoned the Bohemian Screech Cow.

Poodleduke takes a long look around the room, rolls his eyes and expertly roundhouse kicks the Bohemian Screech Cow in the head.

The Bohemian Screech Cow is knocked dead."

Inventory:
A survival knife
8 gold coins
A book on summoning magic
A canteen of water
A white leisure suit
180 points at karaoke
A giant headache, which is not the cause of your confusion
A damaged "Jumanji" board game

[RetroRegs]

KKRAASSSHHH!!!! SPLAASHHH!!!

OUCH! Gurble guble - blackness.

You wake with the taste of water in your mouth and sand in your eyes.
Your pornographic swimsuit magazine's pages are all stuck together and are not even good for firewood now. Best find somewhere to dry them out.

>L All

You see nothing, but there is a dank must to the area accompanied by the squeaking of what you (hope to be) small bats. The soothing lap of water against a shore is quite relaxing and the sand on your face suggests you have been washed up upon a bank inside a forgotten cove.

>Turn of Flashlight

The lens of the flashlight is broken, but the bulb is intact. The light is casts is dim and foreboding, but is enough for you to see ahead of you and to inspect your surroundings.
You can see, now, that a few of the splintered and smashed planks and other parts of the boat have washed against the sandy shore. Some of them look pretty sharp.

You cannot see your sword anywhere, which is just as well, as you may have impaled yourself upon it during the fall.

You are feeling apprehensive, defensless and lost without it.

There is a cave opening directly to the North and the sandy escarpment continues to the East. In your current state, you don't think you can climb back up the rocks without tools.

>Drop Dread Fear of what the Future Holds

You now feel less fatalistic and more like you will get out of this alive.

>Get flotsam (wood)

Got - *ouch!* one end of this one is sharp! It gave you a splinter.

>Use rope on wood.

Not only do you now have an Aboriginal hoodoo communucation device, you've also one half of a spear or even - a grappling hook (though, if you were to trust that to hold your weight, you'd better drop everything you're carrying first).

As you ponder what to do, and maybe this is just the dim light making you think this but:
A womanm perhaps *the* most beautiful woman you have ever seen steps out of the water so gracefully that she appears to glide over the surface. Her boobs don't even bounce a little as she moves. Naked from the waist up, your eyes are fixed on the Jade Pendant around her neck, nestled (as you wish you were ) between her breasts.

Something tells you that this Jade Pendant is the key to getting you another part of the map.

"You can close your mouth mortal", she jests. "You are a lucky person to have survived such a fall; I believe this is yours." She shows you the sword. "But to get it back, I need you to do me a favour".

"Don't all beauutiful women in adventure games want us to do impossible things before giving it up? Come on then, wench, get on with it so I can get my sword back and go stab some people and be the hero again".

She eyes you suspiciously.
"Choose your task then, Stranger! Since you have fallen a great height, You must climb back up to the top from where you fell using nothing but what you see around you. Believe me, many have tried and failed. Failed and died.
Second, you must enter the cave you see to the North. We call it the cave of Darkness as no natural light will penetrate it, however - you device appears to cast unnatural light that even our greatest sages cannot emit!"

You check the batteries and they are very, very low...

"Thirdly and ultimately - you must couple with my Dryad sister. One night spent in her bed in our underwater township. Since you are an unevolved air-breather, our alchemists have a potion that will allow you to breath water. Here - take one to see my sincerity."

Received Potion of Water Breathing (4hours duration).

"Well?" She asks, "what will it be? Before I set our Landsharks and Waterbats to rip you to shreds for desecrating our sacred grounds!"

>shit pants

"Decision Time!" you say, to no-one in particular.
What will it be?

The Climb, The Cave, or the night in the Water Dryad's loins. I mean arms.

[Luchsen]

>Stop daydreaming

"You notice that your mind tried to escape the confusing situation into a beautiful daydream at the end of page three of the 'Abandonia Text Adventure' that you read when you were a little child."

Inventory:
A survival knife
8 gold coins
A book on summoning magic
A canteen of water
A white leisure suit
180 points at karaoke
A giant headache, which is not the cause of your...
...Confusion, which led to...
...A daydream
A damaged "Jumanji" board game

[RetroRegs]

Originally Posted by Luchsen

[i]>Stop daydreaming

"You notice that your mind tried to escape the confusing situation into a beautiful daydream at the end of page three of the 'Abandonia Text Adventure' that you read when you were a little child."

I see you are the alpha male.
Why did you shut me down, Luchsen?
I was only trying to play along and involve myself with this game.
Thanks for bullying me.

[Luchsen]

You missed some posts and I just ironed it out in-game.

But btw, just say when I try to shape the game to much in vein of how I think the game should proceed.

[Expack2]

>raise consciousness

"You manage to force yourself into a conscious state, and you realize you're no longer in the land you were in."

>look around

"You find yourself in a small, dimly-lit room of some sort. Candles held by pillar-mounted candle holders are the only source of light. The pillars themselves, which support the low roof of the room, are scarce.

In front of you is an altar, above which lies a wall with stained-glass triangle made of four smaller triangles embedded in it; three of the triangles are gold-colored, while the fourth, in the center, is clear (thus more like a hole).

Barely visible behind you is what appears to be the only door out of the room. It is a large, arched, heavy-looking wooden door which almost reaches to the roof."

>Yell help

"You yell for help. The only response you get is a long series of echos."

Inventory:
A survival knife
8 gold coins
A book on summoning magic
A canteen of water
A white leisure suit
180 points at karaoke
A giant headache, which is not the cause of your...
...Confusion, which led to...
...A daydream
A damaged "Jumanji" board game

[B-Wolf]

>Open wooden door

“No matter how hard you try to force the doors to move, they just won't open. Not only are you to weak to move the doors in the first place, but these doors are huge. Even a super strong person couldn't open them.”

>Examine alter

“On the alter are the numbers 1 though 12, the light from the single clear piece of triangle glass shines on the number 4. You wonder if these numbers have something to do with opening the huge, wooden arched doors.”

>Use book on summoning magic

“You open the book, but the room isn't bright enough for you to read your book. You can't use any of your summoning magic if you can't read the words in your book.”

>Wonder if stained glass window is Legend of Zelda reference

“Only Expack2 call tell us that.”


Inventory:
A survival knife
8 gold coins
A book on summoning magic
A canteen of water
A white leisure suit
180 points at karaoke
A giant headache, which is not the cause of your...
...Confusion, which led to...
...A daydream
A damaged "Jumanji" board game

[Expack2]

>ask Expack2 about Zelda reference

"Hey there, players! Expack2 here. Yeah, that stained-glass window above the altar is, in fact, the Triforce from the 'Legend of Zelda' series. The room you're in is supposed to be the sanctuary from 'The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past', but what the room REALLY is, that's up to the rest of the players...

From out of nowhere, you suddenly hear the following words: 'We now return you to our regularly-scheduled program.'"

Inventory:
A survival knife
8 gold coins
A book on summoning magic
A canteen of water
A white leisure suit
180 points at karaoke
A giant headache, which is not the cause of your...
...Confusion, which led to...
...A daydream
A damaged "Jumanji" board game

[B-Wolf]

>Examine numbers on alter

“Upon closer examination, the numbers on the alter are actually a set of buttons. You wonder what would happen if you press one.”

>Press button

“Which button?”

>Press button number 12

“You press the button with the number 12 on it. Nothing happens.”

>Press button number 4

“You press the button with the number 4 on it. As soon as you press the button, the alter begins to glow. Above the alter, you see a luminous shape start to take on the form of a sword. After a while, the sword stops glowing and plunges down into the alter.”

>Take sword

“You try pulling the sword out of the alter, but no matter how hard you pull, you just can't remove it from the alter.”

Inventory:
A survival knife
8 gold coins
A book on summoning magic
A canteen of water
A white leisure suit
180 points at karaoke
A giant headache, which is not the cause of your...
...Confusion, which led to...
...A daydream
A damaged "Jumanji" board game