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Old 29-04-2011, 02:42 AM   #1
Fubb
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Default I dont feel very smart

Well, i have a total of 3 classes in my last semester of grade 12, english comp, english lit, and applied mathematics.

Now english lit is easy, all we do is read shakespeare and stuff. However our teacher, a learned old man who is very, VERY intelligent when it comes to grammar and the arts and what not, always makes us do in depth studies of these stories, but thats mostly okay, cause im usually good at that stuff.

Lit mark; 67. Why? I accidentally 'skipped' a lit class trying to finish an over do assignment for my comp class. I missed a quiz apparently, so even though all my other marks in the class are 75's and 80's on all the assignments, that 0 drug it down!

In Math, as long as i can actually figure out whats going on, I can do the work, it sometimes takes me a while to know what im doing though, but for the most part, im okay

Math mark; 57. Why? Im notorious for not doing homework, so im a little behind (though catching up!) on my math, and i've gotten just above 50 on all the tests (i think 54, 56, 61, and the latest is 59)

Now comp is the biggie. I do not understand grammar, i try to put in an effort and i still dont understand. I've failed every single test so far, with 30's in all of them. Though somehow my marks a 47, even though my average is lower? Whatever. Today we had a test, and i was sure i aced it, i felt like i knew everything and told my parents i was sure i was goona get atleast a 70, it made my day, made me all happy! I've been stressed for the past 2 weeks because of work/school, so this naturally makes you feel good. I got a 35 on the test!

The past few months i've been questioning whether im stupid or retarded, or have ADD, and stuff like this only reinforces my claims. I can never focus on homework and studying. Its not like i watch tv or play games instead, on the contrary i read books or go on Wikipedia to learn something interesting. I wanna apply for university and go into either history or political studies but they dont accept marks like this. Come exam time english is goona ass rape me. I literally do feel like i have no future and that im goona work at the Co-Op forever!

Im fairly certain i've developed a sort of inferiority complex, cause whenever i fail at something i feel stupid and embarrassed, and quietly in my thoughts tend to tell myself all my friends are better then me, cause they all get 70's and stuff. Even my own siblings are successful (brother is a great electrician, sister is graduating from university as a nurse, and other sister is pursuing a future as a doctor)

And the worst thing is i dont even know if i wanna be whatever history (teaching?) or political studies (politics?) would lead too, cause its just goona be some crappy desk job or something. I've been questioning whether or not to look into joining the army, even though im physically challenged (im weak! haha) though i have a feeling that'd only get me killed.

And now, prom is tomorrow night, im going with a girl i like, though we're only going as friends. My other friend, i kinda figure likes her, so i was talking to a different friend last night, i told him that maybe i should let Bill (we'll call him bill) go after Stacey (we'll call her Stacey) cause they'd be a better couple, but he just told me to go after her instead cause i like her and i shouldn't be so 'unselfish.' I wasn't being unselfish, i really dont have allot to offer her. Plus i dont know how to date a girl.

I've literally never been stressed in my entire life. Now everything hit me all at once. gotta apply for university which i probably won't get into cause my marks are shit, gotta deal with a job i really hate, gotta get better at school so on so forth. If i dont graduate this year im goona die inside.

Sigh
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Old 29-04-2011, 09:15 AM   #2
The Fifth Horseman
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Everyone had a point in their life like that. You know what to do when life gives you this? Give it the middle finger. Get your victories where you can, don't obsess over stuff you're bad at, and simply keep going.
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Old 29-04-2011, 10:14 AM   #3
arete
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I came within an inch of graduating with an A overall, Fubbo, i averaged 4th in the standard (ie grade) for half of highschool, and I've never been a success. Don't let it bother you. Life is what you make of it. Find your passion. Do what you love -- then you'll never work a day in your life. I'm only now discovering what i might like to do with my life, and i'm 31.

Also, what fifth said :P
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Old 29-04-2011, 11:02 AM   #4
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You can always choose the possibility to go with only the points you do on the uni-test, and forget about the middle-school points.

And if still no success this time, you can always choose to skip a year, study hard, and go next year if yu really want to go that field.

Btw, most people do not know what they'll do, and most f the most end up working ANYWHERE just for the money, and find the joy elsewhere.

Not to mention test are failures. For example I never was good in tests, despite 180 IQ and high understanding of the classes. So what.
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Old 29-04-2011, 09:41 PM   #5
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That's completely normal teen angst and life choice stress. Happens to everyone at times, just make sure you get over it soon enough, and don't fall into a spiral and turn into an emo, or we'd have to shoot you.

You don't know what to do with your life yet, so you don't really know what you're in school for, and you're not motivated. As for life choices, nowadays it's a bitch, because publicly reglated educational systems put every kid into rails towards college, but most don't know what they want in life before they enter college, or even after they graduate.

Of course you will want a college degree if you want a good position later on. Though people are sometimes happier with other occupations, the Army is just the most obvious example. You should do your best at taking a look at actual ways to earn money, and thinking which would you prefer.

I think it may be a grave mistake to choose a degree only because it sounds good, with no idea of how it may translate into any job. You may get lucky and stumble afterwards into a job that you like, but many people that do this end up having to start their lives from scratch after they've spent years graduating.

If you could really like the army, don't worry about being weak, worry about what you can take, because if you endure the training it would make a man out of you haha.

Once you know what you want to do for a living, it will be easy to draw a road map that can hopefully take you there. Even if it's difficult or ambitious, if it's what you really want go for it. If you don't make it in the end, because too many people wanted too little jobs, still anything related that you'll be able to snatch will be better than studying for the heck of it and ending in an unrelated and shitty job. Once you know where are you intending to go, you'll also be more motivated to study and such.

As for the girl, you're making no sense, wake up, snap out of it. :P Leaving her before trying because you're not good enough? If she doesn't like you, you won't get her anyway, and if you get her, it would have been supposed to happen from the start, and she likes you best.

Incidentally I don't think she'll be interested in listening to you for more than two days if everything you have to say is how depressed you feel (unless she's a hardcore emo, and that's just a pose anyway--she won't). If you're too down for prom and that it's a different thing. But come on, you'll only make yourself more depressed if you withdraw attention from life to yourself.
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Last edited by Japo; 29-04-2011 at 09:53 PM.
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