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[Airwolf]

New Computer Viruses

LEWINSKY VIRUS --Sucks all the memory out of your computer...then e-mails everyone about what it did.

RONALD REAGAN VIRUS --Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.

MIKE TYSON VIRUS --Quits after two bytes.

OPRAH WINFREY VIRUS --Your 300MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 100MB, then slowly expands to 200MB.

DR. JACK KEVORKIAN VIRUS --Deletes all old files.

ELLEN DEGENERES VIRUS --Disks can no longer be inserted.

DISNEY VIRUS --Everything in your computer goes Goofy.

PROZAC VIRUS --Screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn't care.

JOEY BUTTAFUOCO VIRUS --Only attacks minor files.

ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER VIRUS --Terminates some files, leaves, but IT WILL BE BAAAAAAAK.

LORENA BOBBIT VIRUS --Re-formats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy, then discards it through Windows.

VIAGRA VIRUS --Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.

CLINTON VIRUS --Gives you a 6 inch hard drive with NO memory.

[Airwolf]

Drinking for His Brothers

There were these three brothers that were very close to each other. The brothers always went to a local bar on every Friday at 5:30 on the dot.

When the brothers got married they all got married to their wifes to be on the same day and at the same place.

When the brothers moved away from each other to go on with their lives with their new wife, they all promised each other that they would still go to the bar every friday at 5:30 and drink for each other.

On the first Friday that the brothers were separated, the first brother went to a local bar and ordered three drinks. He took one sip from the first glass the took one sip from the second glass then from the third. He did this until all the beer was gone, then he paid the bartender and went home.

This kept up for about three week before the bartender finally asked why he did that. The guy explained about the promise that he had with his brothers. The bartender said that he thought that was a very good promise to keep with each other.

One day the same guy came in and asked for only two glasses of beer. The bartender thinking something awful has happened, said "I am awfully sorry about your brother."

The guy not knowing anything about what the bartender was talking about said "What happened to him?" The bartender said that when he only ordered two drinks instead of three he thought that something awful had happened.

The brother then said "No, nothing happened to my brother, I just decided to give up alcohol."

[A. J. Raffles]

Yet Another Thought to Start the Morning
Posts can be edited.

[Microprose Veteran]

Originally posted by eric10051981@Jun 30 2004, 09:09 AM
One OS to rule them all, One OS to find them,
One OS to bring them all and in the darkness bind them.

Brilliant!

[Mahar Vairo]

Phew! I thought I'd never finish reading all does jokes.

@Veteran -"Manny is that you"

[Mahar Vairo]

I like most of those jokes.

I find this quite funny, what do you think

[Mahar Vairo]

You know what else is funny, phrases like:

It's a piece of cake(it rarely is)

Don't worry, it's all under control(what do think?)

(and the all time classic)

It could be worst.(never ever say this, especially if you have a really bad day).

LOL

[win98]

hahahahahahahaha that is funny man

[win98]

o boy all those jokes are good this tread has been going on for almost a year

[troop18546]

It was closed one time I think, but who cares - it's back!
I liked that last joke from Asterix and Obelix.
Made me laugh. LOL