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Old 21-05-2013, 12:45 AM   #1
Hunter Hunted
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Exclamation Anybody else find the Internet and life in general can be boring?

My life since I left school has almost totally sucked. Forums don't enjoy my company too much. I lost my girlfriend in 2005, found her 7 years later and just got used for my money, which was my fault for being a tool who couldn't walk away. I also had deaths in my family. Also got diagnosed as having PDD-NOS etc.

Apart from forums, I also used to go on Gumtree and because there was so much crap on there, it was hard to find anything remotely worthy. All I wanted was to find a girl to date and then they all went venomous after initially appearing really nice. Even found them on curious websites in provocative poses. Fortunately, Meetup is way better than Gumtree, as it actually has real photos of its members and is easier to use.

I know one should try not to focus too much on the negative things in life, but I hated 2002 all the way up to now, with only a few note worthy things that were actually good about these years. When so much negativity builds and builds inside of your head, of course it will be hard not to let it consume you. Maybe it's because I'm lonely and I'm bored of everything that was once fun, but these days I wake up and wonder what the point is in being here. I've not got many friends around me. I know I'm intelligent and I deserve better, but I never can meet anybody who shares similar qualities.

I just think a lot of today's games, music and movies is crap. Like, I am a big fan of survival horror, but it ain't what it used to be. See Resident Evil 6, people.

Of course, that really has nothing to do with me as a person, but you know how it is with the media nowadays. I guess it's always been that way. Movies, games and music are meant to make money. Right? Sooner or later, they get altered so much, you stop being interested. Everyone has to face up to change.

I'd say more on these subjects, but I'm tired just now and it would probably start an argument, due to my bizarre writing style. Not only that, but I cannot get a girlfriend. I've not really tried very hard to find one as I have mild autism and I never really have anything to talk to anyone about, due to my fixed interests that others may know nothing about. I had one guy recently call "Australian Punk" niche. WTF?

Having autism shouldn't stop me finding a girlfriend, but it does impact my thinking patterns. I've wasted so much money on escorts, because I cannot get it up with them. I realize I shouldn't really be mentioning that on forums, but whatever. I've wasted so much money. I'd be as well just giving it away to strangers I meet on the street. How is it any different?

I don't really know how to continue what I'm writing about without appearing weird or impolite, but I don't really like the Internet that much anymore. In fact, it is getting cancelled on 26 May.

Years ago, I got so much crap on forums from nasty folk and it was the same thing over and over again for years and years because I kept signing up more accounts and I didn't do a good job of hiding myself, so all my aliases were linked. They had banned me, flamed me so constantly and more. I also ended up with my own Encyclopedia Dramatica article eventually, too. It's far from what I wanted.



Examples of a-holes online:

Here's a thread where I gave my opinions on why I didn't like the noughties decade. As in, I didn't like the years 2000 to 2009. It was solely my own POV on the matter. Some people actually gave sensible responses and I always thought that forums are supposed to be for discussing topics with a degree of civility for the other respondents. I'd mentioned things about the popular culture of the era from my own POV like I stated, although a lot of what I posted was quite personal too. Then some douche bag says it was a good thing my grandmother was dead so she wouldn't have to see what a failure I'd become (or something). I'm not sure what page that post is on, but the remark still is visible somewhere in this topic. I was Grace Saunders on Bloody-Disgusting.

Someone also said; "well, you do live in Scotland" - which had nothing to do with anything I was talking about.

http://bloody-disgusting.com/legacy/...ad.php?t=21568

Here is another example.

Having had many bad experiences with women I'd booked on a website for the purpose of, you know what, I came to a forum to talk about it at great lengths for potential advice on overcoming certain issues, which I received in a somewhat mixed manner. Again, the post was basically an opinion about what I didn't enjoy about this particular website I was talking about in my OP. Then some members saw it as an attack on women as a whole, calling me a certain 'M' word too. I'd tried to tell them I was no such thing, but it was like a greedy pack of rottweilers were more intent on ripping me to shreds than talking logical sense. Clearly, they didn't pay proper attention to what I was saying, so I ended up not entertaining them with decent replies. They called me contradictory for commenting on adultwork.com, when I tried telling them that I had to, because all the women I was talking about were from there.

http://adultworkforum.com/forum/thread-4090.html

A similar incident transpired on another forum. Once they gathered I wasn't a 'full shilling' of sorts, they decided to cut me some slack and be friendly. I've had good conversations with 'em ever since, but it just goes to show that you need to watch your tone around people who may see autism as aggression.

http://www.punternet.com/forum/index...-com-annoy-me/

Of course, if you've been a victim of online harassment and want it to stop, but don't have any legal understanding of how things work within the legal system in other countries, you will go ask "experts" for their help. Yes?

I went to one forum for advice. I wish I hadn't bothered. These scumbags were nothing more than obnoxious and unwilling to help.


http://www.expertlaw.com/forums/showthread.php?t=154176

I used to post on a Resident Evil fan site called Biohaze. Many of the members there knew me from related forums because I used an identifiable handle. For several years, I was regularly active there, but I was always getting flamed by some of the users who never fully accepted my presence.

The forums have a section for the Dino Crisis series, which I am particularly accustomed to, having once had a mini site about the saga. So anyway, no-one really gave a flying rat's behind about that section and it was largely neglected, so I would post in there from time to time, trying to keep things active, while also trying to promote my own site and message boards. But this moron named Stu would post personal attacks that weren't removed, resulting in my threads being locked.

This abuse went on for ages and nobody would do anything about it. I eventually got so sick of this BS that I went and contacted the host for Biohaze. This resulted in a backlash against me by its owner, although I hadn't done anything wrong. The admin ("Yama") deleted me at my request and said I could register again, but I've never gone back and posted - only browsed as a guest.

If you tell a bunch of people you hate that their site sucks and you won't return, but return anyway, that makes you look like a twat, so you need to show you're better than what they make you out to be and actually stay gone, for good.

http://www.biohaze.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=106649

Then there's these idiots on ED. God, why can't they just let their awful site die? Oh, well actually, it did die once, but they quickly resurrected it...Swedish style!

https://encyclopediadramatica.se/Tal...new_girlfriend

http://encyclopediadramatica.se/Grace_Saunders

Anyone else had any awful experiences with people online and can explain how they dealt with them? It makes me glad that I'm moving on soon. People nowadays can be so mean and you wonder why you get picked on, and nobody else goes through what you are, so they appear to be largely unsympathetic.

Last edited by Hunter Hunted; 21-05-2013 at 04:31 AM. Reason: I wanted to.
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Old 21-05-2013, 05:27 AM   #2
The Fifth Horseman
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Humans are assholes, that's unfortunately normal. Can't ignore them or leave? Mock them.
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Old 21-05-2013, 11:14 AM   #3
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Three well-meant advises for you:

1. Don't let yourself be used. Have some dignity, and others will respect you, and you yourself, too.
1. Don't search for girls to date on curious websites in provocative poses. Either those websites want your money, or those girls do. Exceptions are exceptionally rare. Don't look for love interests on the internet. Find the girls you like where you live, trust me it's better.
2. Don't hang in at home with computer & internet much. Don't inclose yourself in your own inner world. Get out there, let those inferiority complexes and insecurities fall, together with all that "I'm intelligent" stuff too. Of course you are intelligent, but that's not the point, for no one - it is obvious enough. To do that is harder than it sounds, but certainly doable. Somewhere outside there you'll automatically meet a girl you like, also.
Life is as simple as you take it - like yourself and others will like you. Others like you and you like the life and make easily friends. Stop disliking yourself. Look around, there's lots of things that make fun. You just have to open your eyes and see them. Your life is your choice.
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Old 21-05-2013, 11:21 AM   #4
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I agree with Scatty especially regarding Internet relationships. They're all crap. Never try one. I've spent the last two years of my life in one and let me tell you it's all pointless, real girls are better because, you know, they're real. It's difficult to socialize with someone you only communicate with on the Internet. Go to concerts, museums, cinema, whatever, meet new people, make friends. Be friendly and the world will be friendly as well.
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Old 21-05-2013, 12:57 PM   #5
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The past is in the past, time to move forward

Are you seeing a therapist or seeing a health professional regularly? You sound kind of depressed, I would raise these issues with your doctor.

Good luck as of the 26th, it could be the start of something wonderful for you
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Old 21-05-2013, 01:15 PM   #6
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All those generic good advices work poorly in specific cases. "Meet new happy people, yay!" doesn't fit introverts well, who get spent by interacting with people (it feels like a chore for them). You can't force yourself to like someone, just as "I command you to be spontaneous, right now!" doesn't work.

Hunter Hunted, you obviously surf the wrong side of the Internet. You claim you're intelligent while you waste your time on generic forums infested with "trolls". Try to find people with more refinement, they're rare, but they do exist out there. Fish them out and then maintain IM/email contact with them, time better spent than on a forum with a crowd of cretins.

Trust me, I know how it feels to be burned out. When your career and ambitions are in ruins, and life robbed you even from your hobbies... depression effectively killing any means to relieve stress.

Instead of wasting money on sluts, how about finding yourself a higher purpose? Something ambitious, that will require dedication, perhaps giving you that spark of energy? Be creative, write a book or something like that...

Last edited by RRS; 21-05-2013 at 01:19 PM.
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Old 21-05-2013, 08:10 PM   #7
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Quote:
Anyone else had any awful experiences with people online and can explain how they dealt with them?
By not dwelling on it too much. Instead of wasting my time of futile struggle against people who would never agree with (much less accept) me, I directed my efforts at working with people who shared my interests.
And yes, I said not dwelling on it. Learning to do that took away a lot of emotional baggage off my shoulders.
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Old 22-05-2013, 10:35 PM   #8
Hunter Hunted
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Yeah. I've actually got a friend who is the same as I am. He has what one may refer to as being their associates, but he has no partner and no actual mates to go out with. Well, that's maybe not true at all, because he has me and there's everyone else in our stair who we can always invite out for a drink. He is more chatty than I am and he used to do karaoke, and pub crawls, but I think he quit that.

It was my suggestion that we go to meet-up groups and singles events to try and just get out there, basically. Why? Because if you sit on your rear end 24/7 trying in vain to chat up folk online, it gets you nowhere in the long run. I just don't think it's healthy being on the computer all the time and it probably doesn't bring you any closer to finding a potential girlfriend or mates, unless you are a stud, but sometimes, you need to get real. In fact, it depresses me if I go online just for the sake of having it there as an activity.

Dating sites are crap. Forums can be crap too unless there is something newish to talk about. Even watching videos can get boring, especially if you don't find anything new to get into. But sure, the net is a useful tool; Wikipedia, Asda shopping, DVDs, torrents, YouTube, Facebook, Reddit, etc, all at your fingertips. But who honestly cares about all this if you have nobody to share it with? They're supposed to be time killers, but you need to already have a life away from select hobbies that may turn into obsessions if you get too absorbed into them. As time goes by, you sort of wind up being bored of the luxuries. These days you don't really have much to look forward to. It's becoming so effortless. I just don't feel it's rewarding anymore. That's because, years ago when the Internet wasn't as widespread, you had to go out for everything, so when you finally found what you were looking for, it felt great because you did the work for it and that is something I miss a great deal in the technology age. In a way, I think I've finally reached the end of my tether with a lot of it.

The Internet isn't meant to be your life. If it is becoming your whole daily lifestyle, I'd say it's time to close the browser and make the necessary arrangements to get a real life. If you do the same stuff all the time routinely, as you surf the web all day, every day, you're wasting all your valuable time by focusing on all the unpractical things. Before you know it, 2 years turns to 4 years. 6 years turns to 8 years and it would just go from there. For me, my Internet tenure began in 2002. Most of the sites I loved are gone. Now it feels like it were all a waste. I'd really gained nothing from it, as there is nothing I can show for it.

My friend did 'pull a bird' as he put it. But I think his problem is that he just wants sex too badly and that can put some women off that may want an actual emotional connection with a bloke. After all, we humans as a species want both sex and an emotional bond. Girls don't always like men who just want their hole. They think you view them as a piece of meat and that once you've had your shag, old meat is used meat. Prostitutes are different, because they offer sexual services for payment, but it can be almost impossible to tell if they are being forced into it, lest they tell you.

My friend is usually a laid back guy on any subject, other than women. In that sector, he just needs to chill out, relax and not take it to heart if a girl doesn't want to advance things. He bragged to me afterwards about how he'd gotten laid. Then the next thing I know, he's been dumped and he's feeling bad and saying he'll kill himself over it. Well, I don't know what actually happened. I emailed her of my own accord out of curiosity to get her side of the story and she just mentioned having problems coping with his autism and her own condition, but she sounded like she just wanted some time out. Perhaps Scott (my mate) has made the situation sound bad because it didn't go the way he wanted it to.

He met his now ex through the same Meetup event I went to, for socializing with singles. He stayed the duration of the event, but I left early into things because there were hardly any women there when we arrived and nobody really made an effort to talk to me. Everybody was just chatting about random topics and when I tried to have a go at being social myself, they were just being sarcastic and one girl gave me funny looks. So I was like to hell with this and I left. Scott stayed, so that is how he got to meet Liz when she arrived later on. Even if it didn't work out in the end, he got a fortnight's worth of dating from it. After all the moaning he did beforehand about how he'd probably be wasting his time, he should thank his lucky stars he was giving the opportunity.

We cannot give up yet. Somewhere, there will be women who will want us for who we are. We've just got to track 'em down.

Sorry if this post is "too long, didn't read" or anything.
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Old 23-05-2013, 11:37 AM   #9
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Stressing about finding a partner practically guarantees you won't find one - Relax, do things you enjoy, focus on being happy with yourself and the rest will fall into place
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Old 26-05-2013, 12:30 AM   #10
Hunter Hunted
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I wouldn't say I stress over not having a partner, because it's one of those things that happens when you eventually meet someone. Of course, meeting people means working on your social skills and getting involved in interest groups you know you'll enjoy. There would be no point in joining a night club or something akin to one if what it was about was not to your personal tastes. That almost makes it sound like you just want to hang in with a crowd because everyone else is doing it. I've learned to go with the flow, be yourself and don't be a sheep.

One thing I haven't done a great deal is talk to folk face to face. I've mainly just interacted with people online. The net is different than the real world, cos you are usually just typing out messages and awaiting a reply. They normally wouldn't see your face, unless you had a camera on. It's important to overcome this anxiety and I'd say it's heaps better knowing 'real' people. Not that online people are not real, but you would most likely never meet a majority of the people you speak to online.
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