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[Fox]

TO: All Employees
From: Management
Subject: Special High Intensity Training

In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity
from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well
trained through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING
(S.H.I.T.). We are trying to give employees more S.H.I.T. than anyone
else.

If you feel that you do not receive you share of S.H.I.T. on the job,
please see your manager. You will be immediately placed at the top of
the S.H.I.T.list, and our managers are especially skilled at seeing
that you get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle.

Employees who don't take their S.H.I.T. will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL
EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P S.H.I.T.). Those who fail to
take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE
TRAINING (E.A.T. S.H.I.T.). Since our managers took S.H.I.T. before
they were promoted, they don't have to do S.H.I.T. anymore, and are
all full of S.H.I.T. already.

If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in a job training
others. We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LECTURE LIST.
(B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T.).

Those who are full of B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T. will get the S.H.I.T.jobs, and
can apply for promotion to DIRECTOR OF INTENSITY PROGRAMMING (D.I.P.
S.H.I.T.).

If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF
TRAINING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T.S.H.I.T.).

Thank you,

BOSS IN GENERAL
SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (B.I.G. S.H.I.T.)

-------------------------------------------------

PS i did not know if this was posted before, but i could not find it here

[Titan]

Originally posted by Fox@Jul 30 2005, 09:41 PM
TO: All Employees
From: Management
Subject: Special High Intensity Training

In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity
from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well
trained through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING
(S.H.I.T.). We are trying to give employees more S.H.I.T. than anyone
else.

If you feel that you do not receive you share of S.H.I.T. on the job,
please see your manager. You will be immediately placed at the top of
the S.H.I.T.list, and our managers are especially skilled at seeing
that you get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle.

Employees who don't take their S.H.I.T. will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL
EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P S.H.I.T.). Those who fail to
take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE
TRAINING (E.A.T. S.H.I.T.). Since our managers took S.H.I.T. before
they were promoted, they don't have to do S.H.I.T. anymore, and are
all full of S.H.I.T. already.

If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in a job training
others. We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LECTURE LIST.
(B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T.).

Those who are full of B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T. will get the S.H.I.T.jobs, and
can apply for promotion to DIRECTOR OF INTENSITY PROGRAMMING (D.I.P.
S.H.I.T.).

If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF
TRAINING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T.S.H.I.T.).

Thank you,

BOSS IN GENERAL
SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (B.I.G. S.H.I.T.)

-------------------------------------------------

PS i did not know if this was posted before, but i could not find it here

LMAO... looks like the memmoes we get from our HQ

[Indignus IV]

ROFL That was awesome!

[Danny252]

LMAO!!!! That is one funny thing... heheh..

[Fox]

This is , but what does LMAO & ROFL mean?

[ReamusLQ]

Originally posted by Fox@Jul 30 2005, 02:01 PM
This is , but what does LMAO & ROFL mean?

laugh my @$$ off, rolling on floor laughing

[Fox]

In support of the latest game, The Beverly Hillbillies

Hill Billy Letter

Dear Sun:

I am writing this slow because I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left. Your dad read in the paper that most car accidents happen within twenty miles of home, so we moved. I can't send you the address as the last red-neck family that lived here took the numbers with them for their next house so they wouldn't have to change their address.

This place has a washing machine, but the first day I put four shirts in it, pulled the chain, and haven't seen them since. It rained here only twice last week, three days the first time and four the second. About the coat you wanted me to send you, Aunt Sue said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with them heavy buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets. We got a bill from the funeral home and it said that if we didn't make the last payment on grandma's funeral, up she'd come. About your sister, she had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether it's a boy or a girl so I don't know if you're an aunt or an uncle. Your Uncle John fell in the whiskey vat, some men tried to pull him out but he fought them off and drowned. We cremated him and it took three days to put out the fire.

Three of your friends went off the bridge in their pickup. One was driving and the other two were in the back. The driver got out, he rolled down the window and swam to safety. The other two drowned because they couldn't get the tail gate open.

Aunt Mabel is knitting you some socks. She would have sent them by now but I told her you had grown another foot since she last saw you so she had to knit another one. Not much more news this time, Nothing much has happened.

Love, Mom

P.S. I would have sent you $20, but the envelope was already sealed.

[Doubler]

:roflol:

[Fox]

If you think that hill billies are stupid, then think again:

A letter from a Hillbilly!!

Perception is Reality or Hillbilly Joins The Army

Dear Ma and Pa:

Am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Army beats working for Old Man Minch a mile. Tell them to join up quick before maybe all the places are filled.

I was restless at first because you got to stay in bed till nearly 6a.m. (but am getting so I like to sleep late).

Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot and shine some things -- no hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Practically nothing.

You got to shave, but it is not bad in warm water.

Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, beef, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie and regular food. But tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit between two city boys that live on coffee. Their food plus yours holds you till noon, when you get fed.

It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much. We go on "route marches" which the Sgt. says, are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it is not my place to tell him different. A "route march" is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys all get sore feet and we ride back in trucks. The country is nice, but awful flat.

The Sgt. is like a schoolteacher. He nags some. The Cap. is like the school board. Cols. and Gens. just ride around and frown. They don't bother you none.

This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don't know why. The bull's-eye is near big as a chipmonk and don't move. And it ain't shooting at you, like the Higsett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don't even load your own cartridges. They come inboxes.

Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other fellows get onto this setup and come stampeding in.

Your loving son,

Zeb

[Sebatianos]

Originally posted by Fox@Jul 31 2005, 12:15 AM
Your Uncle John fell in the whiskey vat, some men tried to pull him out but he fought them off and drowned. We cremated him and it took three days to put out the fire.

Pure brilliant! :roflol:

Wasn't there the response by the son also? I think I got this in the mail a few years ago, but if I remember correctly the son did reply.