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[Sebatianos]

The same as THIS (but in 5 languages).

[Gelfo]

Okay decided to put this one here rather than the bad jokes thread

Three pieces of rope are walking down the street when they decide to stop off at a nearby pub.

Outside the pub there's a sign that says 'we dont serve rope here'

Regardless, the first piece of rope walks in, asks for a pint but gets told to leave.

So the second piece of rope goes in, but gets the same treatment

The third piece of rope twists himself up a little bit before going into the pub. He walks up to the bar and asks for a pint.

The barman says "Aren't you a piece of rope"

The rope replies "No, I'm a frayed knot"

...

[troop18546]

LOL Good one Gelf0.

[guesst]

Originally posted by Gelfo@Apr 4 2006, 01:21 PM
The rope replies "No, I'm a frayed knot"
...

Dang it, I just referenced this one in the bad joke thread a moment before seeing the whole thing posted here. Only I didn't tell the whole joke. I just assumed everyone's heard this one before.

[Eagle of Fire]

I don't even understand it...

For me, 90% of all the jokes in this thread could be swaped to the "bad jokes" thread.

[Danny252]

Originally posted by Eagle of Fire@Apr 4 2006, 04:49 PM
I don't even understand it...

For me, 90% of all the jokes in this thread could be swaped to the "bad jokes" thread.

LOL.. just say "a frayed knot" out loud.. ^^

[Gelfo]

-WARNING THESE JOKE ARE OFFENSIVE..ISH -

An Alcoholic, a druggie and Freddie Mercury were all in heaven before God.

God decided to give all three of them a second chance as long as they changed their ways. The alcoholic wasn't allowed to touch drink, the druggie had to stay clean and Freddie Mercury wasn't allowed to be gay anymore. God warned them that if they returned to their vices he would zap them down to hell in a puff of smoke.

So the three men were sent back down to earth and landed outside a pub/bar. The alcoholic runs inside, *poof* the alcoholic disappears.

Then the druggie sees a needle lying in the gutter, he walks over to it and bends over to pick it up. *poof* Freddie Mercury disappears

----

Okay..

Gods football team 'The Saints' got to the final of the cup, and had to play against 'The Devils' (great team names huh).

The match got underway.. Saint Peter got the ball and dribbled around a few defenders before having a shot, he beat the goal keeper but the ball hit the post. Saint Peter said "Damn!", much to Saint Pauls disgust.

A bit later Saint Michael received a good pass to put him through one on one with the goal keeper. He took the ball round him but his shot went over the ball. "SH*T" said Saint Michael, again Saint Paul couldn't believe his ears.

Towards the end of the match Saint David had a great chance to score, but the goal keeper saved his shot. So he shouted out "C**T", Saint Paul almost fainted.

After the match (The Saints lost 1-0) Saint Paul went to see God and explained to him what happened.

"God, Peter hit the post and said 'Damn', then Michael shot over and said 'Sh*t' and then... David's shot was saved and he said the C word"

God was furious... "I can't believe it" he said "What the F*ck are they playing at?!"

[gregor]

A mafia's son sits at his desk writing a Christmas list to Jesus. He first rites, "Dear baby Jesus, I have been a good boy the whole year, so I want a new..." He looks at it, then crumples it up into a ball and throws it away.

He gets out a new piece of paper and writes again, "Dear baby Jesus, I have been a good boy for most of the year, so I want a new..." He again looks at it with disgust and throws it away.

He then gets an idea. He goes into his mother's room, takes a statue of the Virgin Mary, puts it in the closet, and locks the door. He takes another piece of paper and writes, "Dear baby Jesus. If you ever want to see your mother again..."

---


A blind man enters a Ladies bar by mistake. He finds his way to a barstool and orders a drink. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender: "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"
The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says: "Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is just fair - giving that you are blind - that you should know five things:

1. The bartender is a blonde girl.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3. I'm a 6 feet tall, 160 LB. blonde woman with a black belt in Karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and is a proffesional weightlifter.
5. The lady to your right is a blonde and is a proffesional wrestler.

Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head and declares: "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times".

[troop18546]

LOL man, where do you come up with these?

[Playbahnosh]

Okay, another offensive-ish...

Somebody is knocking on Heaven's door, St. Peter opens the door. There is a man at the doorstep rolling on the floor, laughing. St. Peter frowns and asks
- What's so funny?! You have just died!
- Heheh, yeah but down there they are still operating me LOL