Go Back   Forums > Community Chatterbox > Music, Art, Movies
Memberlist Forum Rules Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read
Search Forums:
Click here to use Advanced Search

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 12-02-2005, 07:03 PM   #1
punch999
The true Shadow President
 
punch999's Avatar

 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Celebration, United States
Posts: 1,195
Default

these are stories i am making to create a sort of history of a fantasy world i made up in my mind its a work in progress so have fun!

and please constructive criticisym only.

The Beginning of Alandia

In the begining there were the Montai (the gods) who created Alandia. (the world)
It was filled with emptiness for many millenia but they were content. After many millenia Regdo (father of all lesser beings) stated to the other Montai (Behold for I have a idea, we should created lesser beings on this planet and govern them with our supreme powers.We should create laws for them to follow and plants for them to eat". For many years the montai pondered the idea many Montai said yes but many more said no. Regdo was deeply angered and plotted to kill the Montai who didnt support his idea.He planned for years until the idea came to him.So one night he quitely killed all the Montai who did not support his idea then he made a large fire and cast the bodies in there then spread the ashes in large mounds in different places which created the first mountains.The other Montai were very suspecious of what happened to the others but since those who did not agree were gone the remaining Montai allowed Regdo to carryput his idea alone. First he created the trees which Regdo secretly crafted from the bones of the dead Montai. Then he created the oceans which he made from the blood of the dead Montai. He then made grass from the hairs of the dead.He contemplated what to do next for many many many years until finnally a idea came to him he wouldnt just make one species of lesser beings but hundreds. So first he created the humans powerful but very greedy,then the elves fairest and smartest of all the creatures and the dwarves the strong but ignorent. And then the Legna's, the montai's helpers. The Legna did not resembel the Montai they were not as large and had wings which helped them complete the tasks the Montai required of them. And then finnally the Montai slept.


thats all i have so far i will keep working on it.

note:Montai are giant walking trees so there were so many ashes he was able to make the mountains
punch999 is offline                         Send a private message to punch999
Reply With Quote
Old 12-02-2005, 08:21 PM   #2
Wael
Hero Gamer

 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Shella, Kenya
Posts: 485
Default

The Before "J" part of the Bible was made in a similiar way,
Someone got an idea, And what a success it was...

-------------------------------
The story, (The Beginning of it - The creation of world)
Reminds me of some mythologies, (e.g.
Norse Mythology, Creation of the world)
But is not a clone as such, and differs from it in a sufficient amount,
And as a beginning to a new world, Its not a bad one /-

Also,
you are somewhat youngish,
(meaning only good, since you begin to develop your skills (which are already above sufficient) in an early age)
And have time to spend to the world, it has potential -
And also if you manage constantly manage & evolve your world,
History & stories,
It would certainly deserve attention from people -

If you keep your enthuatism to it,
keep posting k: /-
Wael is offline                         Send a private message to Wael
Reply With Quote
Old 12-02-2005, 09:06 PM   #3
punch999
The true Shadow President
 
punch999's Avatar

 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Celebration, United States
Posts: 1,195
Default

why thank you wael this is my first time writing for recreation and i kind of like it
punch999 is offline                         Send a private message to punch999
Reply With Quote
Old 15-02-2005, 08:35 PM   #4
Strobe
Home Sweet Abandonia
 
Strobe's Avatar

 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Esslingen, Germany
Posts: 841
Default

i agree with wael, that the story reminds me a little bit of norse mythology.
but there's nothing wrong about it! you formed you very special interpretation
of this and as such i really enjoyed it!

so far, it's a basis for something that could grow quite huge. and as you seem
to be motivated i've no doubt that you will soon present some more details about
your mystical world. at least, i would be very fond of reading how this world is
developing...

let you fantasy flow, punch! k:
Strobe is offline                         Send a private message to Strobe
Reply With Quote
Old 19-02-2005, 10:54 PM   #5
punch999
The true Shadow President
 
punch999's Avatar

 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Celebration, United States
Posts: 1,195
Default

added some more
punch999 is offline                         Send a private message to punch999
Reply With Quote
Old 20-02-2005, 09:49 AM   #6
FreeFreddy
Guest
Default

It sounds very promising so far, in the writing style it was written in. Except from some spelling errors I don't have a criticism at the moment.
I hope to read more of the story later. Good one. k:
                       
Reply With Quote
Old 26-06-2005, 09:16 PM   #7
punch999
The true Shadow President
 
punch999's Avatar

 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Celebration, United States
Posts: 1,195
Default

updated alot and now done with first mini chapter
punch999 is offline                         Send a private message to punch999
Reply With Quote
Reply


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
E-books, Stories, You BlindMonk Blah, blah, blah... 8 15-03-2007 05:45 PM
Emoticon Stories Blood-Pigggy Forum Games 12 14-09-2005 03:26 PM
Emoticon Stories ReamusLQ Blah, blah, blah... 9 22-05-2005 03:37 PM
Star Wars - Yoda Stories [LucasArts] Addi Rejected requests 13 19-01-2005 03:20 AM
Strange Stories Rogue Blah, blah, blah... 5 01-12-2004 02:16 PM

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump
 


The current time is 05:00 AM (GMT)

 
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.