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[a1s]

army regulation spoofs:


Q: why must a solider close one eye when aiming with a rifle?
A: because if he closes both, he will not be able to see his target.
Q: how must a solider hold his rifle during an atomic explosion?
A: on his outstretched arms, so the molten metal would not drip on goverment issued shoes.


I can't remeber any more right now.

[Sebatianos]

Army jokes?

George: Oh sir, just one thing. If we should happen to tread on a
mine, what do we do?

Blackadder: Well, normal procedure, Lieutenant, is to jump 200 feet
into the air and scatter yourself over a wide area.

[BeefontheBone]

"We seem to have crawled into a field of mushrooms."
"Lieutenant, that is a military map. It is unlikely to list interesting fauna and fungi. If you consult the key you will see what that mushroom means."
"It just says 'mine' - these mushrooms must belong to the feelow who made the map!"

[Sebatianos]

Edmund: No sir. Um, it's a terrible story, but true. Just a few minutes ago
Georgina arrived unexpectedly in my trench. She was literally dancing
with joy as if something wonderful had happened to her.

Melchett: Makes sense.

Edmund: Unfortunately, she was in such a daze, danced straight throught the
trench and out into No Man's Land. I tried to stop her, but before
I could say, 'Don't tread on a mine', she trod on a mine.

[Sebatianos]

Childbirth through a child's eyes
> > Should children witness childbirth?
> >
>
> > Due to a power cut at the time, only one paramedic responded to the call.
>
> > The house was very, very dark, so the paramedic asked Katelyn,a
>3-year-old
> > girl, to hold a flashlight high over her mummy so he could see while he
> > helped deliver the baby. Very diligently, Katelyn did as she was asked.
> > Heidi pushed and pushed, and after a little while, Connor was born. The
> > paramedic lifted him by his little feet and spanked him on his bottom.
> > Connor began to cry. The paramedic then thanked Katelyn for her help and
> > asked the wide-eyed 3-year old what she thought about what she had just
> > witnessed. Katelyn quickly responded, "He shouldn't have crawled in there
> > in the first place. Smack him again."

[ReamusLQ]

The soldier serving in Hong Kong was annoyed and upset when his girl wrote breaking off their engagement and asking for her photograph back.

He went out and collected from his friends all the unwanted photographs of women that he could find, bundled them all together and sent them back with a note saying, "I regret to inform you that I cannot remember which one is you -- please keep your photo and return the others."

[Sebatianos]

Reamus QL - thet was a great joke when I first saw it while watching M*A*S*H k:

What about this little add?

[drumminfreek]

:blink: :blink:
Whats PATTEX??

[Sebatianos]

A type of glue (isn't it obvious)

[drumminfreek]

:blink:
i didnt think it was obvious...