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[drumminfreek]

HEY LOOK!! EVEN MY STOOPID JOKE BROUGHT BACK THIS TOPIC!!! :w00t: :w00t:

[Danny252]

Maybe not for long though. The close option is becoming nicer every second..

[drumminfreek]

(No, for short)
i love this topic... :whistle:
Cut the caps and unwanted long (useless) messages.

[ReamusLQ]

Originally posted by Danny252@Jul 13 2005, 11:22 AM
Maybe not for long though. The close option is becoming nicer every second..

Oh come on Danny, this is a fun thread that goes through slow periods, followed by a few bursts of jokes, then slows down a bit. There's no real reason for this thread to be closed simply because it has slowed down some. Please don't close it.

And now for some jokes!

#1 One day two blondes walk into a perfume shop. The one blonde picks up a bottle of perfume that is titled "Viens Chez Moi."
The blonde asks the manager what it means, and the manager says it means, "Come to Me."
So the blonde smells the perfume and asks her friend, "Does this smell like come to you? Because it doesn't smell like come to me."

#2 Why did the 3 blondes jump off the building?
They wanted to see if their maxi-pads really had wings.

#3 The sky was dark
The moon was high
We were alone
Just she and I
Her hair was brown
Her eyes were too
I knew just what
She wanted to do
So with my courage
I did my best
And placed my hand
Upon her breast
I trembled and shook
And felt her heart
Slowly she spread
Her legs apart
I knew she was ready
But I didn't know how
It was my first try
At milking a cow

[Danny252]

I've heard the last one at school before.

and what should be a permanent rule:
->NO< shouting!-

[drumminfreek]

who was shouting?? :whistle:
just jokin...

[Fox]

(i love this thread so please don't close it)

As a great South African comedian said "The truth (true incidents) is the funniest jokes"-(Mel Miller), so here is a true incident from the life of yours truly:

One day in computer classes my teacher was telling us that we should be careful because the U.S government can see everything that goes on in the world. (e.g what we had for breakfast). So ofcourse my natural response was "Why haven't they found Osama yet"

Not so funny, but the original one i was gonna post was too embarassing & i didn't want to waste my time.

[Mahar Vairo]

For all you health buffs out there:

A little honey is good for you - until your wife finds out.

THe human body, with proper care, will last a lifetime

My housemaid's knee has been giving me trouble. My wife caught me sitting on it.

I can't believe it. This morning I jogged backward for five miles and I put on three kilos.

My doctor told me that exercise could add yers to my life. he was right. I feel ten years older already.

Exercise is nonsense. If you are healthy, you don't need it. If you are sick, you shouldn't take it.

[Mahar Vairo]

From actual Exam papers:

The parts of speech are lungs and air.

People who live in Moscow are called Mosquitoes.

A census taker is a man who goes from house to house increasing the population.

Water is composed of two gins. Oxygen and hydrogen. Oxygen is pure gin. Hydrogen is gin and water.

A virgin forest is a forest where the hand of man has never set foot.

The spinal column is a long bunch of bones. The head sits at the top and you sit on the bottom.

The four seasons are salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

The climate is hottest next to the Creator.

The word trousers is an uncommon noun because it is single at the top and plural at the bottom.

The blood circulatesthrough the body flowing down one leg and up the other.

[Fox]

In South Africa, 2 words, if said will offend people. viz. God and Black

I imagine going up to heaven and asking St. Peter "How's God?"
St. Peter: "You cannot say god up here"
Me: "Why not?"
St. Peter: "He's (stutters for a while) b... b... b... (then whispers) black"

(Taken from a great comedian, Barry Hilton)