01-09-2004, 11:22 PM | #41 | ||
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02-09-2004, 04:31 PM | #42 | ||
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Aasane, Norway
Posts: 238
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What is the similarity between a hunting rifle and a blond?
They both has to get bend over, and loadet from behind. |
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02-09-2004, 07:05 PM | #43 | ||
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hmm...Dirty...
Once there where two golfclubs on a bar. The first on asked for a Vodka Martini, and then the Bartender asked the other one "What would you like?", "Nothing, I'm a DRIVER" AHAHAHA Dont Drink and Drive |
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02-09-2004, 07:43 PM | #44 | ||
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Norwich, England
Posts: 1,325
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OK, slight risque but not as dirty as Aaberg's ( k: ):
Three men arrive at the gates of heaven, having just died. Saint Peter (who guards the gates of Heaven) said, "Ok, Heaven is getting a bit full now so we're having to allow people in now not only if they lead a good life but whether they died in an exicting way, so you tell me how you died and I'll decide whether your allowed in or not." The first man steps up, he starts his story, "I lived on the 20th floor of a block of flats, I was coming home from work one day when I heard sounds of muffled conversation and fast movement inside my flat, when I got inside I found my wife was only wearing a see-through negliee so I of course presumed she was having an affair, I ran around the house looking for the man and, sure enough, there was a man hanging from the balcony. So I stepped on his fingers but he still wouldn't fall off, so I ran inside the house, picked up a hammer and started hitting his fingers with the hammer, and that was when he lost his grip and dropped 20 floors, I thought he was dead but then I saw him move, so I ran inside the house, picked up the fridge and dropped it on him, that killed him. But with all the exitement I had a heart-attack and died right there on the balcony." "Well that's exicting! You're allowed into Heaven" So the next man came along and told his story, "I lived on the 21st floor of a block of flats, I was leaning over my balcony, smoking a ciggartte when I slipped and fell off! Fortunatly I grabbed thge balcony of the flat below. Then this lunatic ran onto the balcony and tryed to get me off the balcony, I hung on all could but eventually he hit me with a hammer and I fell. I just survived and I was so happy that I did, then the madman dropped a fridge on me! And here I am, dead." "That's exiteing too, you're allowed in." The third man steps up, "OK, picture this, I'm hiding in a fridge... |
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02-09-2004, 08:14 PM | #45 | ||
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Yep, the irony is clear...
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02-09-2004, 09:39 PM | #46 | ||
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Split, Croatia
Posts: 1,028
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Quote:
This is one of the best jokes I ever heard: After all read-outs and X-ray scans, the doctor said: "We have noticed a rare virus infestation. You have only ten more left... Patient: "Ten what? Years, Months, Days..." Doctor: "Nine..." |
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02-09-2004, 09:42 PM | #47 | ||
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Cambridge, England
Posts: 1,342
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A rabbi, a priest, an imam, an irishman, a frenchman, an american, a swede, a russian, an hungarian, a pole, a bear, an archbishop, an australian, a Belgian, a dutchman, a spaniard, a greek, an italian, a beautyqueen, a homosexual, a donkey, a midget, an angel, a demon, a roman, an egyptian, an iraqi, a syrian, a chinese, a japanese, a vietnamese, a catonese, a nepalese, a mexican, a turk, an argentinian, a driver and a 10 inch pianist walk into a bar.
...I'm better at inventing jokes myself on the spot during a conversation
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02-09-2004, 09:46 PM | #48 | ||
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Split, Croatia
Posts: 1,028
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Quote:
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02-09-2004, 09:52 PM | #49 | ||
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Cambridge, England
Posts: 1,342
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Most jokes are in real life.
a stupid example. Me and my friends go out to eat some fries in between courses. We're silently eating, enjoying the cullinary delights of fat fried foods, when suddenly I star laughing. My best friend, who is always in for a good laugh, asks me why I am laughing. I point forward at a big plaque (actually it was a poster the owner of the diner had made) over the garbagecans. On the white plaque, in big red letters, is written: "we recycle YOU too". its amazing the difference a mere comma can make. Believe it or not, I laugh most of the day! Thats right, your beloved hippy-hater laughs a lot
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02-09-2004, 09:54 PM | #50 | ||
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Shella, Kenya
Posts: 639
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You hate hippies??? That's not funny |
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