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Old 01-09-2004, 11:22 PM   #41
FreeFreddy
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Quote:
Originally posted by TheVoid@Sep 2 2004, 12:18 AM
A bear is hunting a bunny: he's on the way to catch him and eat him, when suddenly a fairy appears. The two animals stiop running, and look at her astonished.
"I will grant to each of you two wishes", she says.
"Well", says the bear " I want to be the most charming among bears, so that all females will like me".
"Your wish is granted", says the fairy.
"I", says the bunny, "want a fast motorbike, with plenty of petrol and ready to run."
"So be as you wish", replies the fairy.
"My last wish", says the bear, "is to be the only male among bears, so that I won't have any opponent when I want to seduce a female."
"So be it", says the fairy. "What's your second wish, bunny?"
"I want this bear to be homosexual " says the bunny, then jumps on the motorbike and shoots off with a squeal of tyres
Haha, that was mean
                       
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Old 02-09-2004, 04:31 PM   #42
aaberg
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What is the similarity between a hunting rifle and a blond?



They both has to get bend over, and loadet from behind.
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Old 02-09-2004, 07:05 PM   #43
Kiddiarni
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hmm...Dirty...

Once there where two golfclubs on a bar. The first on asked for a Vodka Martini, and then the Bartender asked the other one "What would you like?", "Nothing, I'm a DRIVER"

AHAHAHA

Dont Drink and Drive
                       
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Old 02-09-2004, 07:43 PM   #44
Havell
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OK, slight risque but not as dirty as Aaberg's ( k: ):

Three men arrive at the gates of heaven, having just died. Saint Peter (who guards the gates of Heaven) said, "Ok, Heaven is getting a bit full now so we're having to allow people in now not only if they lead a good life but whether they died in an exicting way, so you tell me how you died and I'll decide whether your allowed in or not."
The first man steps up, he starts his story, "I lived on the 20th floor of a block of flats, I was coming home from work one day when I heard sounds of muffled conversation and fast movement inside my flat, when I got inside I found my wife was only wearing a see-through negliee so I of course presumed she was having an affair, I ran around the house looking for the man and, sure enough, there was a man hanging from the balcony. So I stepped on his fingers but he still wouldn't fall off, so I ran inside the house, picked up a hammer and started hitting his fingers with the hammer, and that was when he lost his grip and dropped 20 floors, I thought he was dead but then I saw him move, so I ran inside the house, picked up the fridge and dropped it on him, that killed him. But with all the exitement I had a heart-attack and died right there on the balcony."
"Well that's exicting! You're allowed into Heaven"
So the next man came along and told his story, "I lived on the 21st floor of a block of flats, I was leaning over my balcony, smoking a ciggartte when I slipped and fell off! Fortunatly I grabbed thge balcony of the flat below. Then this lunatic ran onto the balcony and tryed to get me off the balcony, I hung on all could but eventually he hit me with a hammer and I fell. I just survived and I was so happy that I did, then the madman dropped a fridge on me! And here I am, dead."
"That's exiteing too, you're allowed in."
The third man steps up, "OK, picture this, I'm hiding in a fridge...
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Old 02-09-2004, 08:14 PM   #45
FreeFreddy
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Yep, the irony is clear...
                       
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Old 02-09-2004, 09:39 PM   #46
Unknown Hero
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Quote:
Originally posted by Kiddiarni@Sep 2 2004, 08:05 PM
hmm...Dirty...

Once there where two golfclubs on a bar. The first on asked for a Vodka Martini, and then the Bartender asked the other one "What would you like?", "Nothing, I'm a DRIVER"

AHAHAHA

Dont Drink and Drive
Don't drink and drive, when you can smoke grass and fly (joke).


This is one of the best jokes I ever heard:

After all read-outs and X-ray scans, the doctor said: "We have noticed a rare virus infestation. You have only ten more left...
Patient: "Ten what? Years, Months, Days..."
Doctor: "Nine..."
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Old 02-09-2004, 09:42 PM   #47
Stroggy
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A rabbi, a priest, an imam, an irishman, a frenchman, an american, a swede, a russian, an hungarian, a pole, a bear, an archbishop, an australian, a Belgian, a dutchman, a spaniard, a greek, an italian, a beautyqueen, a homosexual, a donkey, a midget, an angel, a demon, a roman, an egyptian, an iraqi, a syrian, a chinese, a japanese, a vietnamese, a catonese, a nepalese, a mexican, a turk, an argentinian, a driver and a 10 inch pianist walk into a bar.

...I'm better at inventing jokes myself on the spot during a conversation
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Old 02-09-2004, 09:46 PM   #48
Unknown Hero
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Quote:
Originally posted by Stroggy@Sep 2 2004, 10:42 PM
I'm better at inventing jokes myself on the spot during a conversation
Me, too. My friends can't stop laughting when I get my "yellow minute".
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Old 02-09-2004, 09:52 PM   #49
Stroggy
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Most jokes are in real life.
a stupid example.
Me and my friends go out to eat some fries in between courses.
We're silently eating, enjoying the cullinary delights of fat fried foods, when suddenly I star laughing.
My best friend, who is always in for a good laugh, asks me why I am laughing.
I point forward at a big plaque (actually it was a poster the owner of the diner had made) over the garbagecans.
On the white plaque, in big red letters, is written: "we recycle YOU too". its amazing the difference a mere comma can make.

Believe it or not, I laugh most of the day!
Thats right, your beloved hippy-hater laughs a lot
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Old 02-09-2004, 09:54 PM   #50
Puffin
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You hate hippies???
That's not funny
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