«

[Mighty Midget]

A Cockney joke

A London gentleman found himself one day over at East End when a young, attractive girl was passing by. Suddenly a gust of wind blew her dress above her waist.

"A bit airy..." remarked the gentleman.

Hearing this, the girl replied indignantly, " 'ell yes! What did you expect - feathers?!"

[Japo]

I got it even before reading the girl's reply. LOL

[rlbell]

Back in the summer of 1986, just after the american air raid on Tripoli (in Libya), people were afraid to fly, out of fear of terrorism. There was such a dearth of american tourists that the parisians were forced to insult each other.

[a1s]

three shops are standing in a row. so to make himeslf different the owner of the rightmost shop hangs a sign "we have lowest prices!". owner of the leftmost shop decides to keep up and hangs a sign "we have highest quality of goods". the owner of the middle shop thinks for some time and hangs a sing "MAIN ENTRANCE".

[Maramil]

John and his granny are taking a walk. John sees $10 lying on the ground. John wants to pick it up but his granny says:"If something has been lying on the ground, don't pick it up!". Later he sees a wallet lying on the ground but then again:"If something has been lying on the ground, don't pick it up, John!" Later his granny trips and falls on the ground. She cries:"Help me John!". (You got it already) Then John says:"I can't! If something has been lying on the ground I shouldn't pick it up!"



(Ok, not really funny, but I had to say something...)

[Mighty Midget]

"But I don't like Dad"
"Shut up and eat your dinner before he gets cold!"

[rlbell]

My father liked to drink whiskey. So much so that he drank one bottle a day, every day, for most of his life. He passed away, back in May, at the age of 80, and, in accordance with his final wishes, his body was cremated. They are still trying to put the fire out

[troop18546]

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(rlbell @ Aug 9 2006, 10:36 AM) [snapback]247457[/snapback]</div>

My father liked to drink whiskey. So much so that he drank one bottle a day, every day, for most of his life. He passed away, back in May, at the age of 80, and, in accordance with his final wishes, his body was cremated. They are still trying to put the fire out
[/b]

Is that for real or a joke? :blink:
If it's a joke then > LOL

[Playbahnosh]

"Not every chemical element is hazardous. Without Hydrogen and Oxygen, for instance, there won't be water. An important part of beer."
Dave Barry, Miami Herald

(Not an exact quote though but...LOL )

[a1s]

An International archeological conference.
first a german archeologist takes the stand.
-we have dug 10 metres into german soil and have found copper. this proves that 100 years ago german allready had telephone.
next a british archeologist takes the stand, and says:
- we have dug 50 metres into the ground and hev found glass. this proves that the british allready had a fiberoptic cables 500 years ago.
fianly a Russian (Indian, Scottsih, etc.) arechelogis comes and says:
-we have dug 100 metres into the ground, and have found absolutely nothing. this proves that 1000 years ago russians had wireless connection.