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[Marleyman]

Not only can you, should you keep secrets? If so, from whom and why? When does it cross over from the 'I was trying to protect you' to 'you lied to me'?

Is telling a child about Santa good or bad?

What about telling your friends partner that s/he is cheating?

Where in fact do you draw the line with secrets you guard and how do you treat others when faced with their exposed moral dilemma when you are on the 'protected' list?

[Playbahnosh]

Not only can you, should you keep secrets? If so, from whom and why?[/b]

As Dr. House says: "Everybody lies" And he has a point there.
Everybody has secrets. I think the problem is not IF you should, but HOW you should keep them. They say a secret is no longer a secret when another person knows about it. There is always the question/fear about if you should trust another person enough to tell that thing you want to keep from others. And if you already told, will that person tell anyone else?

They say the best way to keep a secret, is to tell nobody. But unfortunatly, that thesis is evidently flawed, because of human nature. Most people just can't keep a secret. It's not because they are bad persons, but humans are inherently social creatures, and the need to share things with others is always there. Some people even enjoy sharing "secrets" with others, that is called gossip. That's what supposed to be (should've been) a secret, but now everyone knows about it, still they go about it as "don't tell anyone, but...", or "I shouldn't tell you this, but...". The best possible way to keep a secret, is in your head. The more place you note it (on paper, tell to friend...etc), the chance of it getting into the wrong hands grows exponentially.

When does it cross over from the 'I was trying to protect you' to 'you lied to me'?[/b]

The topic about where to draw the line between a white lie and an outrageous deception is a slippery thing. Everybody has their own borders on that matter. What one person thinks a little untruth, another person might think a huge lie. "Protecting" somone by lying TO them, FOR them, or ABOUT them, is equally unbalanced; depends on the situation. If you brake your mom's vase, and you lie about it, thus trying to protect yourself from punishment, is foolish (they will notice sooner or later). Lying to a child about his father was a serial killer, and lying to everyone else too, to protect him could be considered a good feat. Protecting him from the truth, until he is mature enough to deal with it himself. As I said, depends on the stituation...

What about telling your friends partner that s/he is cheating?[/b]

On my opinion, it's not your problem. It's their problem, the couple should solve this on their own. When some of them confronts you about it, if you know something about the other....well, that's for you to decide what to do...

[Luchsen]

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Playbahnosh @ Sep 19 2007, 05:36 PM) [snapback]311851[/snapback]</div>

As Dr. House says: "Everybody lies" And he has a point there.
[/b]

LOL

[Sebatianos]

To answer your initial question with a question...

Wouldn't you like to know?

[Marleyman]

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Sebatianos @ Sep 20 2007, 12:32 PM) [snapback]312013[/snapback]</div>

To answer your initial question with a question...

Wouldn't you like to know? [/b]

Sometimes yes, sometimes no. I have yet to find out the rules for which secrets are a burden to hold and which are not

[Lulu_Jane]

Secrets are usually secret for a reason.... That said, it doesn't make me stop wanting to know what they are.

Whether you tell or not probably has more to do with how much you trust and respect the people involved, unless you just like to babble a lot.

[Sebatianos]

Also depends on the kind of a secret.

If someone would tell you they're planing a birthday surprise for your friend (and might even need your help to do it) you'd be a real jerk to spoil it by telling about it, spoiling the surprise.

On the other hand if you overhear terrorists (watch out, now that this word is used we're being monitored by the NSA) talking about blowing something up you really should tell the authorities (even if it's supposed to be a secret).

[Luchsen]

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Sebatianos @ Sep 20 2007, 06:46 PM) [snapback]312079[/snapback]</div>

if you overhear terrorists talking about blowing something up you really should tell the authorities
[/b]

And where's the fun?

[Sebatianos]

In giving false information

[Luchsen]

Good point: Is that a legitimate way to keep a secret?