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Old 25-04-2005, 12:36 PM   #1
omg
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very cool. when it gets published tell us so i can read the whole thing. i wanna know where its going.
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Old 25-04-2005, 03:43 PM   #2
Lizard
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Quote:
Originally posted by Spookyfish@Apr 9 2005, 12:44 AM
Here's the three first paragraphs from a short story I've written, "Martyr". A sci-fi/horror-ish piece.


_______
This is a suicidal mission. No matter how much we twist it around, turn it upside down and inside out, it is a suicidal mission a long way into the deep desperation that created it. Hell. We’re in a hell; a hell that is not a hell by the boiling lava and the searing heat, but by the demons stalking its twisted fields. It’s terrible.

What, you say? Everything is. Our cities have collapsed in rubble and dust. Our technology has decayed away over time. Our people are scattered and afraid. Our armies are all but obliterated. Only a few pockets of survivalists remain. We are mankind’s last. We are alone in a galaxy we could not begin to comprehend, fighting an enemy we don’t understand.

The enemy. What they are, we don’t know. What they look like, no one knows. None have survived an encounter with them. How they fight, no one knows. There are no traces but the stench of death in their wake. How are we to destroy them? We are outnumbered by the millions. We don’t know what leads them, or how to communicate with them. It’s hopeless. And this is a suicidal mission.

______

Any comments (:? It's very long in total, about 4200 words. I can't post the whole thing, as I'm looking for a publisher to publish it. Can't have something that's previously published then, can I ? So, any comments?
Looks cool...
You can also make a topic in art thread and post there one chapter after another....
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Old 25-04-2005, 04:00 PM   #3
Spookyfish
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"I'm sorry Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that."

Besides, it's not in chapters, it is 'one big wall of words'. And I can't publish something if it can be read for free on the net, can I ? And I think I need to rewrite it. The PoV's a little strange :whistle:.
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Old 25-04-2005, 08:49 PM   #4
Danny252
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I should put something here..
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Old 25-04-2005, 08:54 PM   #5
Spookyfish
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Quote:
Originally posted by Danny252@Apr 25 2005, 08:49 PM
I should put something here..
Yes, you should. Mind some constructive criticism? I'm getting good at it :whistle:...
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Old 25-04-2005, 09:02 PM   #6
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ok, Ill come up with something tomorrow.. or sometime.
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Old 25-04-2005, 09:09 PM   #7
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split from writing society.

Please only put real writing in that thread.
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