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[Iron_Scarecrow]

What do you call a blind deer?

No Idea.

LOL LOL LOL

What do you call a blind deer with no legs?

Still no idea.

LOL LOL LOL

[Sebatianos]

An Italian comes to Florida and wants to go on a beach.
To the first person he sees: "Hey-a you. I wanna see a beecha."
"Sorry buddy, can't help you there."
To the next person: "Hey-a miseter. I wanna see youra beecha."
"You pervert."
To the :"Hello to you miseter. I wanna see a beecha."
"50 bucks."
"You-a no understanda miseter. I wanna see a butifula beecha."
"Yeah, yeah, beautiful - ugly - no matter. 50 bucks!"
So the Italian gets angry: "F*ck your beecha!"
"100 bucks!"

Trust Santa... He'll bring you a niiice gift...

[Proudwolf]

~The telephone rings and an answering machine answers...
"Welcome to the psychiatric hotline."

If you are obsessive compulsive, please press one repeatedly.

If you are co-dependant, please ask someone to press 2.

If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you are paranoid/delusional, we know who you are, what you want, just stay on the line so that we can trace your call.

If your are a schizophrenic, listen carefully, and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

If your are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press....no one will answer anyways
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~A guy walked into a cafe and asked for a bowl of chili. The waitress said, "The guy next to you got the last bowl." He looks ofer and sees that the guy's bowl of chili is full. He says, "If you're not going to eat that, mind if I taek it?" The other guy says, "No, help yourself." He starts to eat it and abokut halfway down, his fork hits something. It's a dead mouse, and he vomits the chili back into the bowl. The other guy says, "That's about as far as I got, too."

(that one makes me kinda hungry)
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~A man walks into a welfare office to collect his check.
He walks up to the teller and tells her,
"You know, I'm really tired of coming down here...I think I might get a job."
The receptionist looks at him, and says,
"I've actually just had an opening for a chauffer to be employed by a millionaire. You'll need to drive around his 22-year-old nymphomaniac daughter, including accompaning her to any overseas trips. All meals and housing is included, and the starting salary is $75,000."
The man is stunned,
"You're bullshitting me..."
"Hey, you started it!"

[Classic Pig]

Originally posted by Iron_Scarecrow@Dec 6 2004, 10:14 AM
What do you call a blind deer?

No Idea.

LOL* LOL* LOL

What do you call a blind deer with no legs?

Still no idea.

LOL* LOL* LOL

And a deer with no eyes, no legs that has just been shot?

Still bloody no idea!


Two men are in a bar and get onto the arguement of who is stronger. The first guy picks up a chair, walks outside and throws the chair up. The chair flies up 20 stories and comes down, crashes on the pavement and shatters into a thousand little pieces. the second guy takes a table and throws it up. It flies up 30 stories and crashes on the pavement. So the first guy not to be outdone rushes back into the bar and takes a fridge and throws it up and it flies up 50 stories and crashes down onto the pavement. So man two rushes inside, grabs the piano and with all of his might flings the piano into the air and it goes up up up... (read on!)
__________________________________________________ ______________

Q: How do elephants hide in cherry trees?

A: They paint their toe nails red...

Q: How do you know it works?

A: Have YOU ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree?

__________________________________________________ _______________

How do you fit four elephants into a mini?

Two in front and two in the back

__________________________________________________ _______________

A parrot is on an aeroplane trip. He is in the non-smoking section and is seated next to a rather irate man. Half way through the flight the man lights up a cigarette and the bird says to him "sir - you can't smoke here - non - smoking!" the guy ignores the bird so the bird flies up into the call attendant button to call the air hostess. She then comes over, sees the man smoking and gets him to put it out. This happens another few times and eventually the bird gets really angry and says "you !&@#$&$* *@*$$& *@$*&%&# I have told you that you are *#&$@#* allowed to smoke on this plane you &@$&@!$*!!!" To this the man gets really angry and opens the window and throws the bird out!
What happens next?
The bird gets hit by a piano!

[Sebatianos]

Originally posted by Classic Pig@Dec 7 2004, 02:27 AM
How do you fit four elephants into a mini?

Two in front and two in the back

How do you know there's an elephant in your fridge?

There's a mini parked in front of your house with only 3 elephants in it!

[Havell]

(this one works better when told verbally)

How do you get two whales in a mini?

Over the Humber Bridge!

[Sebatianos]

How do you get 200 Ethiopians in a mini?
Throw some bred in it!

How do you get them out?
You can't - they got too fat!

[Unknown Hero]

Mujo arrived at border and wanted to pass it with his elephant. So he put two slices of bread on elephant's ears, one on each. And when the policeman at border asked him: "Where are you going with that elephant??", he answered: "What do you f**king care, what I will put in my sandwich!!!???" LOL LOL LOL

[Havell]

Originally posted by Sebatianos@Dec 7 2004, 11:19 AM
How do you get 200 Ethiopians in a mini?
Throw some bread in it!

How do you get them out?
You can't - they got too fat!

How do you get 20 Ethiopians in a phone box?

Put a tin of baked beans in it.

How do you get 20 Ethiopians out of a phone box?

Run past with a tin opener.