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Old 17-06-2009, 11:45 AM   #1
arete
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Default The "Worst Writing I've Ever Seen in my Life" thread

I thought you guys might find this interesting... This was submitted to our magazine. The frightening part was that they accepted it...

Quote:
It has been said that you don't grow in your comfort zone. The current economic turmoil has pushed millions of people around the globe out of the comfort zone. Being sent on early retirement 2, 3 or four years early, or being retrenched, not only pushes people out of their comfort zones these events are included in the list of the most stressful things we can experience in life.

For some, however, this could be a blessing in disguise. I have lost count of the number of people who have said to me that being retrenched was the best thing that could happen to them. This may seem like an insensitive thing to say to someone who has just lost their job and hardly has enough money to make it to the end of the month, so how could this be a blessing in disguise?

Necessity is the mother of invention, the hardest times in the history of mankind have brought about some of the most innovative and useful inventions in the history of mankind. The same can be true in the history of a family, and in the history of an individual's life.

Typically, the blessing in disguise comment came from people who were retrenched and then followed their dream which they otherwise would not have had the courage to do because they were living in the comfort and safety of a monthly salary. Now they were forced to dig deep, to dust off the cobwebs in their minds, and to pull out those ideas which had been shelved years before.

Yes, some of their new businesses have been affected by the current economic turmoil, but as an entrepreneur with new skills which they have developed since being retrenched they are able to adapt and maneuver far more easily than they could in the days when their finances were only as secure as the job.

An organization called the Gallup Foundation has surveyed over 10 million people over the last 40 years to find out whether people tend to focus on what they do best in their careers. Of the more than 10 million people that they surveyed approximately 7 million did not spend their time doing what they do best at work.

In the book "Strengths Finder 2.0" the author Tom Rath said that when you're not able to use your strengths at work chances are that you:
• dread going to work
• have more negative than positive interactions with your colleagues
• treat your customers poorly
• tell your friends what a miserable company you work for
• achieve less on a daily basis
• have fewer positive and creative moments.

Those who said that retrenchment was a blessing in disguise took this challenge and turned it into the opportunity to re-evaluate the careers. In the process they were able to change from jobs that they hated to focusing on careers in their " strengths zone ".

When you spend most of your time in your "strengths zone" you are a very different person. Studies show that you were six times more likely to be engaged in your job. It also improves your confidence, direction, hope, and kindness toward others.

Studies have shown that when people are happier in the work they are also more successful. If you were recently retrenched perhaps it's an opportunity to do what you always wanted and were designed to do.
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Old 17-06-2009, 11:55 AM   #2
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Did this ever need writing in the first place?!

I know of Tim Rath (not Tim Roth from Reservoir Dogs - that'd be cooler) and he's an arsehole, apparently.
But I am too at times...
But he's a bigger one! By far! Business books stating the bloody obvious... *tut

Why don't I get cushy work like that?

Though, the article does sum up the feeling, reason and motivation levels of a lot of the people I talk to here at AB...
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Old 18-06-2009, 05:02 PM   #3
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Aww, and I was hoping this thread was for posting passages from some of the more...indecipherable reviews we come across! I suppose that may not be conducive to harmony in the forums, though.
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Old 16-07-2009, 08:00 AM   #4
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Anything you like, Mr Pie As long as it's bad. Very, very bad.
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Old 16-07-2009, 10:01 AM   #5
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... ...
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Old 16-07-2009, 11:36 AM   #6
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Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skulls -

"They hide in the space between space."

Get bent George Lucas.
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Old 16-07-2009, 04:19 PM   #7
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Some days i wonder if Lulu isn't some sort of distant long-lost blood relative... Or were we perhaps sisters separated by fate? All i know is i'm still trapped in tvtropes...
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Old 16-07-2009, 05:29 PM   #8
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Quickly! Check your left buttock! I have a birthmark shaped like a dinosaur riding a clockwork pony, if have a birthmark shaped like a pony riding a clockwork dinosaur then our fate is sealed Sister!
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Old 21-07-2009, 02:27 PM   #9
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I have a splotch on the back of my thigh. Close enough!

Quote:
From time to time I’m asked my opinion regarding suitable curricula when one educates children at home. This is almost like asking, “How long is a piece of string?”

Initially when asked the question I would give my view and then ask, “How do you like them apples!” One would be wise to consider that opinions are often like armpits – we all have them and some of them stink.

When I was a student at university I had a mentor who taught me a very interesting principle with regards to the interpretation of financial statements. Whenever I discussed a set of financials with him, his first question was always, “Where did the money go to?” Initially his question caught me off-guard since I thought the process of assessing financial statements was a straightforward matter. There is an income statement, a balance sheet, a set of notes and even a cash flow statement. What could be simpler when evaluating statements? Still my mentor would ask, “Where did the money go?”

Then he taught me the principles behind and the value of a cash flow statement, which incidentally, is probably the most important document in any business. It explains what happened to the money. Any business has to make money since without money no enterprise can succeed. And without an appropriate cash flow a business cannot continue for an extended period. So, it is important to know where the money comes from and when and where it goes.

Let us use a furniture store as an example to illustrate the point. We assume you have a great business and a great turnover, but you sell all your stuff on credit. On the other hand, say you have to pay cash for everything you purchase. At the end of the year, your income statement will hopefully show a reasonable profit, but your bank manager might not be that cheerful. Why? Because all you profit is lying with your debtors.
 Incidentally, most business that fail, fail because of a lack of positive cash flow.

In case you are wondering what happened to the choices of curricula, hang in a while longer! I once attended a tax workshop and the advocate who successfully argued his case in the “Brummeria Case” gave us some interesting insights. The case dealt with interest free loans between parties. The outcome of the case could have disastrous consequences for those who have sown unrighteous seed.
 Without spending too much time on the detail of the case I would like to mention two things that the advocate stressed:
1) In every case it is a question of fact. There is no general rule.
2) In every case one must examine the facts by looking at contracts, interviewing witnesses; enquire about intentions and so on. But always remember – Appearances can be deceiving! 


Now back to curriculum! When deciding on what curriculum to follow one first needs to consider the flow – no, not the cash flow, but the life flow. Where does the life flow? Does it flow to the “system”? Or does it flow to the user(s)? 
In my experience it mostly flows to the “system”.


Secondly, there is no general rule. Examine the facts. Don’t believe everything you hear and don’t believe everything you think, and remember, appearances can be deceiving.


Thirdly, if you really think about it, what is the most crucial thing that any person needs? What is the principal thing? A wise ruler once said, “Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all your getting get understanding.” I think that is good advice to follow! 

Now ask yourself – What curriculum would help me to get the principal thing? 
On the other hand, most people seem not to care much about the principal thing. My opinion on the matter is that wisdom is our first choice – not education per se, not mere knowledge, but knowledge with understanding. Applying life, as it were!
What utter, mind-borking, total sh1111111111t!
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Old 25-07-2009, 01:48 PM   #10
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Worst Writing? If that includes bits from the internet... then...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Someone I want to punch in the face
fAk y0u asSh0le!!bniTch!!mOthER fUcKer!!liCk y0ur 0wn dlck!!bItch!!we piNoys just have 0ur love in 0ur musics....and u d0nt cAre ab0ut iTt!!s0 shut up!!fUckin aSzxh0lE!!WaT kInd Are y0u anywaYz??DUMBASS oR ASSHOLE??fUCk y0u aGaiN!!hahahahaha!!
DO I WIN?
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