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Old 26-05-2013, 12:31 AM   #11
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Yet perhaps you could meet online buddy who lives nearby, for starters?
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Old 26-05-2013, 01:27 PM   #12
Hunter Hunted
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I'm from Edinburgh. Business never lets up. Surely, there must be someone.
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Old 26-05-2013, 04:35 PM   #13
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Just play videogames and get drunk with friends on saturday night, you will be fine

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Old 26-05-2013, 09:48 PM   #14
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Thumbs up

Or, download retro classics from Abandonia + don't forget to donate as a thank you.
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Old 12-09-2013, 08:12 AM   #15
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Unhappy Hmm...

I would recommend Reading the Bible, going to church, and getting involved in a church. I would also recommend believing and saying this prayer if you want to be Born Again in Christ.

"Dear God, my life hasn't been so good. I am truly lost. I wonder about the meaning of life. I need a purpose. I want to believe in you. I ask for forgiveness as I fully acknowledge the wrongs I have done. I believe that Jesus was the Son of God died for me on the cross, to save me and the whole world from darkness."

Then find a church (I recommend non-denominational) to go to and go and participate with activities. If you believe that Jesus died for you, ask a elder to be baptized.

Good things to do afterwards:

Pray constantly

Read the Bible

Attempt to change any life style elements you feel need to be or the Bible says needs to be changed

Date Christian Women

Pray for others with problems and that they might come to know Him

If you believe Jesus was the Son of God, you will be saved.

I do not wish to be mocked or such... but He is the way.

I hope, one day, you will come to know him and his eternal peace.

Sincerely, Steve.
"Does seeing me as a small lizard make everything I say even MORE annoying?"

"...this forum seems like a bunch of jumbled posts all bound together, except a toddler has been tearing "Posts" out of the "Binder"."

"And here we are, in the shadows, patiently awaiting a reply to appear, in it's natural habitat."

"Why quote someone else when you alone have enough ridiculous posts for the whole forum's user base?" -All Quotes StaaViinsZ
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Old 20-11-2013, 12:36 AM   #16
Hunter Hunted
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Well, guess what happened to me this year? I got used!

Actually, it's my own fault that that Laura loser used me, for I kept on being a wimp. She's the only girlfriend I've ever had. I never saw her for nearly 7 years and I busted my ass to find her, only to get used and bullied. At 27 years of age, how can one really be bullied by a cow, you say? Well, it still occurs. In my case, I was sort of smitten for her. Sad as that sounds.

Read on:



It's also too bad that there are rules to follow regarding dating your support workers, too. Like nobody can date their carers and they're my whole life, it seems. My Spanish key worker is beautiful, but when hell freezes over, she'll date me. But only when hell has frozen over. Now, I don't socialize outside at all. It's hard enough when you are 'normal' and capable trying to mingle with folk that are total strangers, but chuck in a disability and average looks, and in today's world, you will amount to nothing. Sure, self-worth, confidence, blah, blah, blah. Does that even help?

I haven't the foggiest idea where to start looking for friends, but I know that dating support people isn't allowed at all. It's a law made to protect vulnerable clients from committing unprofessional conduct and vice versa. Actually, I could go out if I wanted to. After all, I'm a free man. But my anxiety gets in the way. You know how when your personal space is being invaded, you get those burning hot flushes and feel like you need to run the heck away. That in my case just increases my nervousness and could bring forth a panic attack. So you get trapped in that cycle of hiding in the shadows.

You see, years ago, I never suffered from anxiety and I was keen to do things. Then a lot of personal stuff happened that messed me up inside, so I started living in the past over it and thinking I'd never be able to do anything. I still kind of feel this way. Like every year, it just really sucks, so I want to rush all the months away until the new year starts. Then I often get OCD like mixed feelings, because if January is awful, I end up assuming every other month will turn out poorly too. It usually does anyway.

That's why I spend my ENTIRE free time on the Internet instead, but even that creates issues. I'm really unsure of how to act around new faces or what things to talk about in real-life and even when I go online. So because I got angry over my life sucking and I posted a photo of this Joanna person on Facebook in a rage, she's been taken off my (already relatively short) support team by her bosses.

You see, I used to work with MANY support workers, but it got to a point where there was too many people around the office next door to where I am situated, so everybody was moved into teams to make their work more manageable. Now it's like this: Musselburgh, Melville, Blackfriars and Holy Corner. I'm in the smallest team, which is Blackfriars, because it's where I stay. The people in the other teams just work in those areas now, so I really miss having them for support shifts. The only time I see them is if I go next door to ask about something and some of these workers happen to be there, but usually it's just a quick hi then bye, as everyone is so busy and waiting to use a computer.

I basically get several allocated hours every week for to tidy up my house, cook meals and do fun stuff with support workers, but I miss the people I worked with before. I just get 'Blackfriars' staff now.

Anyway, because I have autism, I live in a flat which has other autistic people. It's independent living with support people working next door and somebody does a sleep over each day. I'm upset that they took that girl off my team and they used to think I fancied this Ruth chick too. Well, she was hot.

Last edited by Hunter Hunted; 04-12-2013 at 03:28 AM. Reason: I put the paragraphs into a better order.
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Old 20-11-2013, 06:46 AM   #17
The Fifth Horseman
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There's a reason for the regulations that forbid support workers from relationships with their charges, and it's meant for both sides' safety.

Your ex is a different matter, and the problem isn't as much with her as with you.
From your description, her behavior was abusive, but the overall impression I get is that she didn't want to just tell you "no" and everything after that was intended to make you decide to break up with her and leave her alone. Likely that was what her (step?)father referred to when he asked if you were deaf and blind - as in, whether you were actually paying any attention to what was happening around you.

"God. Can't you people see I'm trying to commit a crime against science and nature here?"
-- Reed Richards

Last edited by The Fifth Horseman; 20-11-2013 at 06:50 AM.
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Old 20-11-2013, 10:49 AM   #18
Hunter Hunted
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Oh, I don't think his remark had anything to do with me being with Laura. In fact, that was just the first day I met him when he said that comment.

She was having a shower and he invited me into their living room to talk to him while Laura was in the bathroom. After that, he was drinking and told me the guy sleeping on the coach next to him and Laura's mother was going to jail for drink driving. At that point, I felt really uncomfortable. I moved off the couch and sat on the floor but just talked about bands I knew. After I told him we were going to see Scott, my pal, he asked for his number. I said no, he doesn't know you. He kept it up. Eventually his manner got to me so I asked him to cool it. He said F-U and so I said to repeat it, then he asked if I was deaf as well as blind because I wear glasses. So every time I would go to their stair and press the buzzer when Laura and I were on bad terms, he'd threaten to break my glasses.

Well, I do agree that dating support workers creates problems, but I feel like a desperate man now. My only true mate is 52 and he and I just play pool and occasionally go cycling together. That's all.
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Old 20-11-2013, 01:30 PM   #19
marko river
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Skipping personal part of topic - I agree that movies, games, music, whatever today is mostly crap. I also think that it was always like that and always will be like that. No point in glorifying or romanticizing something.

My opinions on art:
There were lot of crappy games in last century, crappy music, even that old famous Hollywood movies from black&white era were mostly nothing but simple happy ending bedtime stories with good looking actors that are interesting when you first meet them and dull you totally if you stick with them. I believe that it was same centuries ago, well no games or movies, but books, poems, paintings, music etc. The only difference is that only small portion of old staff is preserved in memories (or school books). There are surely some good things that are forgotten and overlooked, some not so good got preserved, but most of crap is ignored and quality things are still mentioned. Beatles were such a huge at the time, I doubt most of kids nowadays know their songs, listening to Beyonce and Eminem. Future brings same, new music, new movies, and some remnants from the past. You really think that future kids will want to play entire Call of Duty series with modern games of their time? Only some of them will play something old and will choose something that is still mentioned, and that will unlikely be "several first parts of some great series".

That is not totally bad thing, as people want something, and you can't simply give them few good books that passed the test of worthiness. They need lot of entertainment. That inevitably leads to bad part, with people entertaining themselves instead of developing themselves.

After this philosophy, a practical part that I wanted to say in the first place.

It is very likely that you find everything meaningless because you have more important problems. You probably can't eternally enjoy games when something else is troubling you. I see your activity on forums and escort girls as good thing - you are doing something. It takes a while before you get to the right track, it is same for everyone, only the required time is different, but you can't complain about the cards you got, you just need to play the hand. There are good games getting published (well, being released in some way), but it is harder to find them. It will get easier when you know how to look for them.

If you want to entertain yourself with game, look for what you need. If you are occupied with some other problem, no game will be good enough. But if you wanna play the games, there are options. After all, there is internet today which allows you to, for instance, visit abandonia and download old games you like. There is no way you already play all the games you will like, and new ones are coming out constantly. Not in big numbers, but are coming out. Check kickstarter or similar places from time to time, check non-PC sites for some old goodies, read reviews and comments about new movies and games.

For example, I was amazed with Braid and Portal. Those are not only newer games that I liked, but I point them out for a reason. Braid is old 2D style logical-platformer, but new possibilities with new computers and programming languages were used to develop a new concept of playing, new gamplay that makes even the old 2D game popular and modern. Portal is game with modern 3D graphics and everything, but those new modern engines made possible to create a new kind of gameplay that wasn't possible before. I like Half-Life, it is among best FPS with many interesting things despite it is still FPS, but it is still FPS. Portal on the other hand showed that modern staff doesn't necessarily need to fall into mainstream, but risk with something new. I was literary happy, not glad that good game is out, but happy because something new and beautiful can still be made, and probably will be made in future.

There will still be good games coming out. Simply because there are still people that care to make them. Most of them won't succeed, but some surely will.

My suggestions to you - if you like survival horror, then I hope you heard of Amnesia - Dark Descent. Recently, I discovered Project Zomboid. It is still buggy, but hey, you don't get many games like that anyway.

Personal part:
Speaking of reviews, I actually got hooked on reviewing games at one point, mostly because I felt useful. That is always helpful, even though loneliness was my major problem back then. It is definitely helpful to feel better about yourself. Anyway, somebody said that you should find a "higher purpose". Reviewing was mine - media will always be swamped with modern stuff, I felt I should at least leave a pointer to something good or bad, for someone with similar interests.

The review I would point out is for the game Terry's Big Adventure on lemon64. I usually didn't like platformer games very much, but there are always exceptions. I'm not mentioning that review because of its quality (don't know is it creative or what) but because it is largely overlooked game I personally find even better than Mario Bros. So, when someone with C64 nostalgia sees it, he may try something he didn't play before on this old computer and actually have some fun. I even got in touch with creator of the game who was happy to find out that someone actually enjoyed the game.

I'm not saying you should become reviewer, it was just mine cup of tea. After all, I also largely dislike modern path of games development, so I decided to do something about it, a little part as it can be, with reviewing old games on a new site. Reviewing both good and bad games (IMO off course), but it is better than doing nothing about it. Naturally, we are not all supposed to review old games, but find there is surely something that moves you. In a way it is creating/finding new hobby that is helpful to you.

Oh, and do smack yourself in your face, very hard, and as many times as possible. It worked for me. I wasn't that closed, but had some issues. The only thing to solve them, no matter how stupid this sound, is to solve them and not think about them, although you always spend time thinking about it. Face them without planning or trying to face it successfully. Because you can't be successful before you know what to do, it doesn't make sense. You have problem with communicating face to face, then do it. Don't hope or worry that will it turn out OK, because it won't. Ask yourself what are the consequences that you have to bare with when it turns out bad. I actually think that you will get to realization that it is already bad because you already have a problem that is lasting, so no consequences are worse than that, since they are temporary. And then do it again. Make a fool of yourself or weirdo or whatever... after you do it 100 times it will start bothering you less and less, which results in you being more relaxed. And I doubt you will need 100 times, probably much much less

Could be I'm wrong, it worked for my issues. One silly example is that I from time to time stand near the edge, because I fear of heights. I'm not scared of planes, but scared of being near the edge at some high place, like window on 20th floor. So I do it. It bothers me, I stop after few minutes, but I feel better about myself. This is just a stupid example, since it is not really a problem, but I tried something similar with other things. I faced/opposed some people and was scared of outcome, but naturally it didn't result in 3rd world war but only in uncomfortable situation. After few times, I was less scared and more focused on what I'm trying to do. Naturally, don't overdo it, like having a fight, grabbing girl's bottom or something like that - I don't think you will create small disaster trying to face your fears, but just needed to say it.

Perhaps I didn't grasped your situation well, perhaps I'm all wrong here, but it is also possible it might help. I can't give you solution, you need to find it yourself, I can only say what worked for me and hopefully you will manage to extract something and turn it into something useful. If not, then just move over these suggestions.
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Old 20-11-2013, 02:42 PM   #20
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To make friends and meet people you need to put yourself in a situation where people are

Sites like http://www.meetup.com/ are a great place to find groups of people who share common interests to you.
I have vestigial adventure elements
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