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[feminista]

I'd say that the key internet-wise is consistently intelligent contribution to the community, while at the same time avoiding personal arguments. That will get people to accept you in at least a semi-positive manner, and if you are nice enough, you'll make friends and proceed to become one of the forum vets.

Now, myself, I'm a bit contraversial in my opinions, but I try as much as possible to present them as only opinions, and to treat others opinions impersonally, never questioning them as a person, only whatever they are stating. The fine line between a debate and a flame war, which I'm generally good about staying on the correct side of. I also try to be helpful wherever my expertise lies, which helps.

That strategy certainly hasn't caused entire forums to bow at my feet, but I have plenty of friends on various forums, and very few people who actually dislike me (though, as stated, my political views draw fire from time to time from right-libertarians and social conservatives alike).

However, once you get past not flaming, I think I respect people more for their intelligence and knowledgeability rather than how much they bend over backwards to be kind. There's certainly a difference between common courtesy and sickening abuse of compliments, which is important to grasp. I would be much more accurately described as intentionally formal and polite rather than distinctly kind.

Hmmm, this isn't a very good rant, I can't keep in context, so I'll stop.

[taikara]

@feminista:

That was very well thought out, thank you for responding. I agree, and would like to add my own personal amendment to this statement:

Originally posted by feminista
There's certainly a difference between common courtesy and sickening abuse of compliments, which is important to grasp.

So often, I think people focus on the negative and forget to ever mention the positive. Getting in the habit of offering compliments is a good way to avoid doing that. Of course, that's just my opinion.

I can also understand how for some people it would seem obnoxious. Therefore, my reasoning is that as long as you're being honest, it's perfectly okay to compliment away! k:

[Tuttle]

I think in terms of who I respect there's two aspects to it -- a decent amount of Clue and a habit of doing the Right Thing.

Clue isn't necessarily about being smart or good at things, it's about knowing your limits and putting in an effort. Someone who knows they don't know much about something but asks intelligent questions and is trying to learn will get far more respect from me than someone who guesses and tries to make things up, or someone who just doesn't care. We all have weaknesses; it's how we deal with them that makes a big difference in my book.

The Right Thing is a little harder to define... ethics is such a personal thing. I guess it's being willing to lend a hand, not lying and being dishonest to get ahead, that sort of thing. What I guess amounts to showing respect.

[Classic Pig]

As this site is aimed at gamers (all be it classic gamers) my vote goes for bludgeoning! But if it were in the real world I do believe that respect is earned and not just given. In other words do what needs to be done properly and do it well, Show respect to others and eventually it will come back to you.

[Tom Henrik]

I respect everyone, but not because I want them to respect me.

That would be a very egoistic thing to do. I respect people, because I love them. No strings attached. I don't want anything in return.

[Iron_Scarecrow]

Who needs respect?

When someone has done something very good, like a well painted picture or music, I try to tell him that his work is good. But I don't say anything if it didn't deserve a good note. I prefer not to throw out empty compliments, I think they are nothing worth and sound just hollow, which doesn't leave a good feeling behind.
Generally I try to treat all people respectfully. But if I can't stand someone, I simply go out of his way. No need to start an argument with that person. Unless he pursues me himself. Then I can become pretty "uncomfortable".
About receiving respect myself, well... I like it when someone notices something good that I made. But I'm not on a search for respect, it's much better to stay modest.

[rainwife]

It would be nice to think that I respect all the people, and I guess that fundementely I do- but that doesn't stop me from thinking that - under the right circumstances - some are in that period of time idiots - off course I don't say that to them, but I do think it. The reason why I don't say it to them is not because I would be affraid of them, but becuase I don't want to hurt them....

[Wael]

Respect is overestimated,
Just something that makes one feel special,
different? an Illusion -

But still,
No matter the basical thought of its actuality,
One still cannot deny his basical need for it -

So yes,
Eventhough I try not to yearn for it,
I do enjoy feeling respected,
And sometimes I am willing to give it -

But afterwards I do hate the thought of it /-

Talk about irony -

[rainwife]

Originally posted by FreeFreddy@Feb 18 2005, 01:20 PM
...But I don't say anything if it didn't deserve a good note. I prefer not to throw out empty compliments, I think they are nothing worth ...

Hmm, I don't want to go to much into that, but that may not be entierly true...
I remeber in the Art topics, you did give compliments to some - trying to cheer them up and do post their work and saying it is not so bad... Now I feel (as an artist???) like muck because you didn't comment anything on my work - not saying that you shoould or that it is any good, and it obviously isn't, because you were quiet, and not just you, only SixApes wrote something...

@Wael - I do want to feel special sometimes...