«

[rlbell]

First thought: Learn to smile. Once you have tried it a few times in the mirror, smile at anyone who makes eye contact with you. If smiling at random strangers discomfits you, start with just smiling at friends, family and coworkers. If challenged about why you are smiling, just answer that you are trying to brighten up their day (which is a laudble enough goal, in its own right). People will often smile back, which shows that even a negatively self-absorbed person can spread happiness and joy.

Second thought: Be thankful, even if all that you are thankful about is that life is not fair, so you know that you do not deserve any of the negativity that so troubles you. Be thankful for each day. Thankful that you woke up. Thankful that it is a beautiful day (or thankful that you can see that it is not).

The really hard technique that I use to fight melancholy*, so I can say from experience that it works:

Happy is as happy does.

If you present a hearty sense of indomitable good cheer, while admitting that it is occasionally forced, you will eventually posess a hearty sense of indomitable (if occassionally forced) good cheer.


* my personal cross is that I have a degree in electrical engineering, but work as a semi-skilled general labourer( a job that I am thankful to have). Because it pays all of my bills and still gives me time with my family, I have every right to be happy, otherwise.

[Mighty Midget]

First: Playbahosh, perhaps you are right about some sort of addictiveness. I don't know because I never saw it that way but when reading ribell's post I knew I was fighting the idea of trying what he suggests, trying to tell myself all these "reasons" why I shouldn't try and I even became very negative about everything while at the same time having this wish: Yes, that is something I have been wanting to do for years, smile, but the idea of standing there pushing a smile on my face always put me off.

Ok, I just woke up and I still have my old ways of seeing things but I'll be out the door in a couple of hours. It's still hard for me to avoid thinking about smiles and happyness in a non-theoretical way but hopefully I'll remember long enough that a smile isn't something I need to ponder and analyze. Honestly, the idea of standing in the front of the mirror practicing seems to me more than just a bit silly but then again I never has been able to think it would be for anything positive in the long run. ribell says it will be positive, so for now I will have to chose to believe him and try to let my stubbornness work with me on this one. Another thing is I'm going to an r/c shop to look around, see what they got. I'm still "here" but in a weird way reading about servos and stuff caught my interest in a way I haven't felt since I really don't know when, even if I don't yet feel that enthustiastic about it at least I have some sort of genuine interest for a hobby here. I guess I need to nurse that interest a bit to get a better feeling of interest. Even if my wallet is empty I have seriously played with thoughts on how to afford one of the cheap but good newbie choppers. It's not going to be easy but it's not impossible even if (I admit) I do tend to fall back to telling myself it is impossible. Anyway, I might get a chance to practice smiling a bit today.

EDIT: Play: About your last post. I will probably have to try this new approach for a while before I will read it again, you know, get a feeling of what it's like to just experience and not theorize. Something tells me I should probably read all you guys' posts again too later if I manage to change that one bit in me.

[Playbahnosh]

There is no rush dude, your life, your pace :amused:
All this stuff will be here for all ethernity as far as I'm concerned, so you can read it all over again any time you wish, you reply when you wish. Hell, even I was surprised when I found that "long lost" heartbroken thread buried under the cobwebs And yes, it was an interesting read high in educational value for me. It was interesting to compare myself to that past dude, who had all those problems. Reading my own posts was pretty...embarassing, so to speak. But that's me, and I don't regret who I was, and who I am now...

I wish you luck on your journey dude. Remember: Knowledge is the only thing that cannot be taken away from you.

Edit: One more thing. A present for the journey:amused:: CLICKY!

[Mighty Midget]

Having my morning coffee I just came to think how almost my entire life has been a chase for confirmations. It has been so "important" to me that it took over too much. I haven't thought of this before and I'm not sure exactly what I wanted to confirm but I can guess. Whatever it is it has been all about me and my relations to others, my family and friends. It has in all honesty been a major part of what's been driving me along. That and my fears. Maybe this chase has been a way of dealing with those fears. Play said something about me leeching off others what I couldn't give myself. I have never been convinced of anything other than being a lowlife and I suppose part of all this concern about what others think is part of this chase for confirmation. To get a feeling from others I am more than just a heap of genetic waste. At the same time I have this really strong feeling I'm not "allowed" to accept I'm more than nothing, that it's frowned upon to say "yeah, I'm ok", so the chase becomes rather frenetic. I look for confirmations while tearing down whatever positive confirmation I get, sort of. All those jokes and me going "let's check if they thought it was funny", getting down if noone laughed and not getting anything if they did, just for starters. That, and the feeling of "I can't do it" while pretending and hiding, daydreaming "I can do it all".

The chase and me tearing down, getting down as I do it, it's not as much an addiction as it is a conflict I never dealt with before. As I said, I'm not entirely sure about exactly what's been going on but this all seems to make sense, me wanting confirmations while creating an abnormal craving myself. Obviously this can't go on. It has to change somehow.

[Icewolf]

What about your move to eastern Norway?
Isn't changing your living-area a good and easy change for starters?

[Mighty Midget]

Yeah, I guess. Ok, it can be seen as me running away again but on the other hand I really need to get started on something and that won't happen here, so yeah, moving will get me a chance and opportunities. Let's see if I take them.

[Mousazz]

Originally Posted by Playbahnosh

One more thing. A present for the journey:amused:: CLICKY!

Okay, it made my smile :laugh:.

As for MM: look, you're a great person an' all, but I can't help you . All I can say is: you made SOME progress, and that's good. Peace be with you .

Best wishes,
Einartass

[Quintopotere]

Originally Posted by Playbahnosh

Edit: One more thing. A present for the journey:amused:: CLICKY!

Is that something related to Scientology or similar? :wondering: