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[ReamusLQ]

Granted; you were so drunk you died from alcohol poisoning.

BTW: The Neo-skoptzy group in The Stars My Destination had all of their nerve endings severed, simply existing while not experiencing any physical sensations whatsoever.

I wish I had better friends.

[songnar]

Granted, you now have slightly better friends, but your old ones soon form an alliance against you with your new ones and, much like Ceaser, you are soon stabbed in the back.

I wish for a year's supply of Ex-Lax!

[Sebatianos]

And you get it mixed with your next drink :P

I wish the new forum would be opened already!

[dosraider]

Granted.
The new forum layout is in use, and crashes continually.

I wish the next poster would get a haircut, the punk.

[Sebatianos]

Granted, the punk now became a skinhead and came with his gang to beat up and rape your entire family.

I wish there'd be something good on the radio.

[Scatty]

Granted, there're now crazy whistling and cracking sounds anywhere on the radio.
I wish I would be teleported away somewhere else instantly

[giganto]

Granted, you're now in line at the DMV.

I wish for marijuana to be legal in all of the united states. I don't use it, but I just feel bad for the people who do.

[Scatty]

Granted, not only marihuana but also all other drugs are now freely available. Everyone begins to use them, and soon it will be the living Hell on Earth.
I wish I knew what's a DMV

[Lulu_Jane]

Granted, it's the Department Of Motor Vehicles. You are now forced to work there for eternity.

I wish a nice evening later with no crazy French women getting cross.

[songnar]

Granted. Now the women will be German. <Nefarious laughter>

I WISH TO RULE THE UNIVERSE!