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Old 26-07-2006, 05:18 PM   #1
Mighty Midget
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This is a poem I wrote quite some time back. Thing is, I would like to have a melody to it and turn it into a song, sort of folk/ballad like, and I have no experience at writing such melodies. There are some problems here. The poem is 9 verses long, each consists of 4 short lines and no chorus. I have trouble finding a tune that will 'survive' through all the verses. One inspiration would be 'Stones' known from the Ultima games, that's inspiration but not copy. One idea was to have the first verse vocals only, then adding one instrument for each verse as the song gets more intense, peaking at the 8th verse before going vocals only and quiet at the 9th.
It's a dark poem, in a sort of E.A. Poe style, but there's a certain beauty in it too, I guess. So, a melody that captures both the moods in an old, (quasi)medieval style is really what I seek here. Even ideas are appreciated. (And no, It's not about suicide , but about breaking away from the past, how hard it can be, failure and dreaming of succeeding)

The Time has come, the End is nigh.
Time for me to say goodbye
Time to leave my Citadelle
Time to leave this Pit of Hell

The Years have slipped and I have slept.
Years of grief, Oh how I wept.
Years as slow as a dead heart
Years that kept us two apart

The Month of Janus saw me first
Months of Winter's frozen bursts
Months I longed to see the spring
Months of Legends, Knights and Kings

The Weeks I searched all through the marsh
Weeks I wandered through the harse
Weeks revealing emtpyness
Weeks that proved be merciless

The Days of Joy are memories
Days of Terror cover these
Days of Youth, of Brave and Strength
Days forgotten in their lenght

The Hour's near, I must be gone
Hours, I have never known the
Hours that I slept in fright
Hours till the morning light

The Minute's hand is crawling, creeping
Minutes now, and still I'm sleeping
Minutes, quick! Make haste or halt!
Minutes as the Torturer's Salt

The Seconds speak of my release
Seconds taunt my disbelief
Seconds! shriek I, is it true?
Seconds silent: Not so soon.

The Time has passed as did before
Time to wait for ever more
Time for Laughs and Love it seems
Time for Life still in my dreams
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Old 27-07-2006, 02:55 PM   #2
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http://emagination.sitesled.com/uploads/monty.mp3
I own copyright on that, note

Repeat it as many times as you like for your song. If you use it, please contact me so I can grant permission.
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Old 27-07-2006, 06:46 PM   #3
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Thanks. It wasn't exactly what I had in mind, which was more trad ballad, but thanks anyway for giving me new ideas.
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Old 22-08-2006, 12:43 AM   #4
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Hey dude, I composed some music for your cool lyrics, it's a ballad (or at least I think it is) with symphonic orchestra and pads. It's not complete though, but I though I show it to you first, and if you like it, I'll finish it up. For the singing, I thought it might be cool to start out the first verses in a whispery voice and get stronger with every line, at the peak it is almost yelling...kinda Rammstein like, but I guess this suits the feeling of the song.

Okay, here is the trial version for ya: BALLAD BY PLAYBAHNOSH

Oh, and I own copyright on that one...just for the record k:

So, whaddya think?
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Old 22-08-2006, 12:49 AM   #5
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Thanks mate! I'll keep a look-out/ear-out for it then k:
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Old 22-08-2006, 12:57 AM   #6
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There's your song dude^ I edited my orig post. BTW I forgot to mention I made that all from scratch in FL Studio, inspired by your cool lyrics, and I have some more cool ideas in mind for the song if you like...

Word!
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Old 22-08-2006, 01:24 AM   #7
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Thanks a bunch! It got that dark mood alright. Very sad, mournful, I thought, sort of funeral hymn-ish. I like that side of it. Also, it is kind of peaceful in it's sorrow. I'm not sure if the lyrics are. To me they're more like someone's boiling inside, wailing their lungs out, finally collapsing with the disappointment in the last verse, if you know what I mean.

Do you read "notes" and chords? If so, I got a bit, for the sake of melody. Think the Dubliners for this one:

In 4/4 (mid/fast tempo)

Chord C C F F C

Mel: (c---c---c) d-c-d {3}| (e---e) f---e | (c---c---c---c)


(c---c---c---c) is a 4/4 note, (c---c---c) is a 3/4 note, (e---e) is a 2/4 note, and the d-c-d {3} is a triplet

Can it be done to combine the mood in your tune with a melody like this?

About your ideas, let's hear them

EDIT: wtf? the spaces doesn't work
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Old 22-08-2006, 11:05 AM   #8
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Quote:
To me they're more like someone's boiling inside, wailing their lungs out, finally collapsing with the disappointment in the last verse, if you know what I mean.[/b]
Exactly! I told you it's not finished yet, but I saw that in yer poem too k: I myself is kinda poetry liking man, so I know exactly what you are talking about. What I'm doing now is to try to brake down the song to a more managable sizes, and add spaces between the verses. I try to add some new percussion melodies to the latter parts and think of some cool pads under the whole thing.

As for the singing, just as you said. Don't you see the dichtihomy there? Starting out in a low whispery voice, but strong breath, you know like someone get pushed to the edge, and getting stronger with each verse, and the end verses is a low voice yelling...like...you know I can't actually sing, I have a voice of a vacuum cleaner, but I try to record a bit of your poem to show you what I'm talking about. I guess you will like it.

As for those notes: huh?
I mean I tHOUGHT I can read chords and stuff, but I'm not sure about this one. I can mostly read scheetmusic but this is different. I'll try to decode it nonetheless k:

I'll be back in the evening with some results
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Old 22-08-2006, 11:13 AM   #9
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Thanks for your efforts man, I really appreciate it.

Btw: Did you get the pm about that rhythm? It was way too late for thinking, and I'm not sure if I sent it to you. Also, if you got it, that "9th" should be "11th". Silly me.
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Old 22-08-2006, 02:27 PM   #10
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O-kay, dial-up sucks. It won't upload grrrr :angry: Okay, I tell you what I did now. I added a "shredder"(distortion guitar) broken down to two gutitars to the last two verses before the 9th, it sounds cool to me, kinda Nightwish/Linkin Park like thing But I can't seem to find a connection melody to connect the verses. I need some filling between the verses, because if I place them all together, it will sound good but it will be too short for a song.... dunno...

Lemme aks you somethin, can you write a chorus for this song? I mean, for connecting the verses, and I make up a solo for the latter part. I thought about a simple rock/ballad like buildup: the 1-2 verses together, then the chorus, the 3-4 verses together then again chorus, then the 5-6 verses together, chorus and a solo, then full power 7-8 verses, (maybe a chorus here, but its optional) then a brake and slowly the last verse. I can do that, it you like, but I need lyrics to build to.

So whaddya say? k:
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