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Old 30-06-2004, 07:21 AM   #11
Seraphim13
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Cursed ICU
In a certain hospital, a strange phenomenon have been occuring for the past ten years. On every Friday at exactly 5.30 am, the patient on a certain bed of the ICU would promptly go flatline.

The doctors and nurses was all very puzzled because this happen to all patients staying on that bed even to those in stable conditions.

The staff then decided to stake out the bed and find out the truth. Sure enough on that Friday at 5.29am the door to the ICU opened and ... ... ... ... ...





The cleaning lady came in, pull out the power plug for the life support system from the wall socket and plug in the vacuum cleaner.
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Old 30-06-2004, 09:17 AM   #12
LotharGR
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PCMCIA: People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms

ISDN: It Still Does Nothing

APPLE: Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity

DOS: Defective Operating System - Dead Operating System

IBM: I Blame Microsoft

MACINTOSH: Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs

PENTIUM: Produces Erroneous Numbers Through Incorrect Understanding of Mathematics

WINDOWS: Will Install Needless Data On Whole System

MICROSOFT: Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers
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Old 30-06-2004, 10:09 AM   #13
eric10051981
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Recently one of my friends, a computer wizard, paid me a visit. As we were talking I mentioned that I had recently installed Windows on my PC, I told him how happy I was with this operating system and showed him the Windows CD. To my astonishment and distress he threw it into my micro-wave oven and turned it on. I was upset because the CD had become precious to me, but he said: 'Do not worry, it is unharmed.' After a few minutes he took the CD out, gave it to me and said: 'Take a close look at it.' To my surprise the CD was quite cold and it seemed to have become thicker and heavier than before. At first I could not see anything, but on the inner edge of the central hole I saw an inscription, in lines finer than anything I have ever seen before. The inscription shone piercingly bright, and yet remote, as if out of a great depth:

4F6E65204F5320746F2072756C65207468656D20616C6C2C20 4F6E65204F5320746F
2066696E64207468656D2C0D0A4F6E65204F5320746F206272 696E67207468656D20
616C6C20616E6420696E20746865206461726B6E6573732062 696E64207468656D


'I cannot read the fiery letters,' I said.
'No,' he said, 'but I can. The letters are Hex, of an ancient mode, but the language is that of Microsoft, which I shall not utter here. But in common English this is what it says:'


One OS to rule them all, One OS to find them,
One OS to bring them all and in the darkness bind them.
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Old 30-06-2004, 06:00 PM   #14
Prox
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[quote]
One OS to rule them all, One OS to find them,
One OS to bring them all and in the darkness bind them.

....in the land of Microsoft where the shadows lie!
__________________
Cosmo Kramer: You know you're not supposed to brush your teeth for 24 hours before you go to the dentist.
Jerry Seinfeld: I think you're thinking of 'You're not supposed to eat 24 hours before surgery'.
Cosmo Kramer: Oh, you gotta eat before surgery. You need your strength.
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Old 30-06-2004, 06:11 PM   #15
Prox
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Here's a new one:

A cop pulls over an Audi quatro, takes a look inside and says: 'OK, all five of you guys out, you're under arrest!!!'
-But there's only five of us, that's perfectly legal!
-No, no, this is an Audi quatro, quatro - that means four...
-But, please, let us explain...
-No, no, no, there's nothing to explain...
-Well go ask your partner, I'm sure he can explain to you...
-Oh, no, he is too buisy arguing with those two guys from FIAT Uno...
__________________
Cosmo Kramer: You know you're not supposed to brush your teeth for 24 hours before you go to the dentist.
Jerry Seinfeld: I think you're thinking of 'You're not supposed to eat 24 hours before surgery'.
Cosmo Kramer: Oh, you gotta eat before surgery. You need your strength.
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Old 30-06-2004, 07:46 PM   #16
Omuletzu
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Lol good one

Here's one
Once a blonde went to the library to get a book. A few days later, she returns and says to librarian at the counter, "This book was very boring. It had too many characters and too many numbers, so i would like to return it."

The librarian says to the other librarian, "So here is the person who took our phone book!"
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Old 30-06-2004, 10:07 PM   #17
unclefester
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There was a Turk a German and a Greek travelling with an airplane around Europe. When the plane was flying over Germany the German thows a beercan and says
German:Hail to Germany and its great beers!
When they plane was flying over Turkey the Turk throws a knife and says
Turk:Hail to Turkey and its elaborate knives
Finally when the plane was flying over Greece the Greek threw a pack of explosives and said
Greek: Hail to greece and its great explosives
When the German went home he found his mother weeping and asked what had happened. His mother told him that a beercan landed on his father's head and knocked him dead.
When the Turk arrived at his home he also saw his mother crying and ask why she was crying. His mother told him that a knife landed on his father's head and pierced his skull
When the greek went home he saw his mother laughing.
Greek: Why are you laughing ?
Greek's Mother: Your father farted and the house fell apart!!!



I really hope you liked it. It is very popular in my town
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Old 02-07-2004, 09:23 PM   #18
Prox
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That one reminded me of another one:

A Cuban, a German, a Croatian and a Serbian where flying in an airplane...
The Cuban takes a cigare, lights it and throws it out of the aeroplane.
-What, what are you doing???, the others asked.
-There's a lot more where that came from...
The German takes a glas of beer and throws it out of the aeroplane.
-What, what are you doing???
-There's a lot more where that came from...
The Serbian takes a watermellon, cuts it and throws it out of the aeroplane.
-What, what are you doing???
-There's a lot more where that came from...
And so the Croatian was wandering what could he throw out of the aeroplane, at last he came to a decision: he took the Serbian and threw him out of the aeroplane...
-What, what are you doing, are you insane!!!???
-There's a lot more where that came from...
__________________
Cosmo Kramer: You know you're not supposed to brush your teeth for 24 hours before you go to the dentist.
Jerry Seinfeld: I think you're thinking of 'You're not supposed to eat 24 hours before surgery'.
Cosmo Kramer: Oh, you gotta eat before surgery. You need your strength.
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Old 03-07-2004, 09:09 PM   #19
Kiddiarni
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ONce were eleven hippos and one strawberry taking a bath. Suddenly one of the hippos said, Strawberry, could you hand me the shampoo please? the Strawberry answers: DO you think I am a FUCKING RADIO OR SOMETHING?



HAHAHAHA

Once there was an orange mopping a skyscraper. He fell down, but it was ok because he had a mars chocolate in his pocket...

HAHAHAHA
                       
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Old 03-07-2004, 09:50 PM   #20
Havell
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:?: :?: :?:
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