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Old 13-05-2006, 12:15 PM   #1301
Tulac
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Osama Bin Laden himself decided to send George Bush a letter in his own
handwriting to let him know he was still in the game. Bush opened the letter
and it appeared to contain a single line of coded message:
370HSSV-0773H
Bush was baffled, so he e-mailed it to Condi Rice. Condi and her aides had
no clue either, so they sent it to the FBI.
No one could solve it at the FBI so it went to the CIA, then to the NSA.
With no clue as to its meaning they eventually asked Britain's MI-6 for
help. Within a minute MI-6 cabled the White House with this reply:
"Tell the President he's holding the message upside down."
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[14-12, 16:08] TotalAnarchy: but the greatest crime porn has done is the fact that it's all fake and emotionless, that's why I prefer anime hentai frankly
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Old 13-05-2006, 01:01 PM   #1302
Mighty Midget
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At the Paralympics:
"Now, here comes something of an athlete..."
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Old 13-05-2006, 02:50 PM   #1303
Stebbi
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Quote:
Originally posted by Tulac@May 13 2006, 11:15 AM
Osama Bin Laden himself decided to send George Bush a letter in his own
handwriting to let him know he was still in the game. Bush opened the letter
and it appeared to contain a single line of coded message:
370HSSV-0773H
Bush was baffled, so he e-mailed it to Condi Rice. Condi and her aides had
no clue either, so they sent it to the FBI.
No one could solve it at the FBI so it went to the CIA, then to the NSA.
With no clue as to its meaning they eventually asked Britain's MI-6 for
help. Within a minute MI-6 cabled the White House with this reply:
"Tell the President he's holding the message upside down."
HAHAHA
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Old 13-05-2006, 05:41 PM   #1304
Danny252
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If only that happened... it would be so much fun...
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I liked the old forum.. =/
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Old 13-05-2006, 09:37 PM   #1305
Playbahnosh
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Quote:
Originally posted by Danny252@May 13 2006, 05:41 PM
If only that happened... it would be so much fun...
You think that didn't happen? :P

Okay, nazi joke, if you don't want to see it, please turn away... now!... You have been warned...













Hitler is in Auschwitz, watching the prisonners. He decides to make a little contest, he says "The one that can jump high enough will get a burger" The first one jumps 1 m, Hitler says "okay, here's a burger", the next one jumps 2 m "okay, here's a burger for you too", the third one jumps 3 m then Hitler said "Shoot him, he can jump over the fence!"
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Old 13-05-2006, 10:56 PM   #1306
Stebbi
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^HAHA
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Old 14-05-2006, 01:52 AM   #1307
a1s
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/\
.| there's nothing there!
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Old 14-05-2006, 03:55 AM   #1308
Stebbi
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in the other Dimension.....duh!!
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Old 14-05-2006, 09:22 PM   #1309
Mighty Midget
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Quote:
Originally posted by Sebatianos@Apr 4 2005, 08:03 PM
OK - might be a bit harder to understand, but my own again...

The Sphyngs comet to Athens. But because it's in a good mood it doesn't want to cause the plague. So it looks around for the smartest man, the one who's surely gonna answer the riddle.
When the smarets man in town is found the Sphyngs want's to make sure the guy will answer the riddle and asks him: "What do you know?"
Socrates answeres: "Nothing."
A good one indeed!

Reminds me of an old one:

A physics professor is doing some late work at his university office. Suddenly, in a puff of smoke, there stands before him a man with a hoof and two pointy horns sticking out of his blood red forehead. The man says: Sell me your soul, and I'll make you a genius that will dwarf Einstein and Hawking, all you have to do is...
The professor replies: Who are you?
The man: Why, the Devil of course
The professor: Oh no you ain't. There is no such thing as devils or demons
The man: Yes, there is, and I happen to be the Lord of Flies himself
The professor: Oh, C'MON! This is ludicracy. Everybody knows devils are not real
The man: Now you just...
The professor: Ok, prove it!
The man: What do you mean prove it. I'm the Supreme Ruler of Eternal Darkness. My powers are undisputed. I can crush you with merely a wave of my clawed hand.
The professor: If you're such a big shot, then I suppose you can do anything?
The man: Oh, ok. I get your drift. Tell you what. You can ask me anything. If I do it, I get your soul. If I can't, well, you get your prize for free.
The professor, turning his back: Oh, get lost...
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Old 30-05-2006, 01:04 PM   #1310
gregor
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Three engineers and three accountants are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three accountants each buy tickets and watch as the three engineers buy only a single ticket.

"How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks an accountant. "Watch and you'll see," answers an engineer. They all board the train. The accountants take their respective seats but all three engineers cram into a restroom and close the door behind them.

Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, "ticket, please." The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.

The accountants saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea. So after the conference, the accountants decide to copy the engineers on the return trip and save some money (being clever with money, and all!) When they get to the station they buy a single ticket for the return trip.

To their astonishment, the engineers don't buy a ticket at all. "How are you going to travel without a ticket?" says one perplexed accountant.

"Watch and you'll see," answers an engineer. When they board the train the three accountants cram into a restroom and the three engineers cram into another one nearby. The train departs.

Shortly afterward, one of the engineers leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the accountants are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, "ticket, please."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprove the child.

Smiling sweetly, the Sunday School teacher said, Johnny, when I was a child, I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that.

Johnny looked up and replied, Well, Ms. Smith, you cant say you werent warned.
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Lifts-Her-Tail: I must finish my cleaning, sir. The mistress will have my head if I do not!
Crantius Colto: Cleaning, eh? I have something for you. Here, polish my spear.
Lifts-Her-Tail: But it is huge! It could take me all night!
Crantius Colto: Plenty of time, my sweet. Plenty of time.
From The Lusty Argonian Maid by Crassius Curio found in TES3: Morrowind
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