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[chainsoar]

· UNIX:
She's objective, very logical, and highly intelligent. She's not terribly attractive but she looks ok with lots of makeup. She's very tidy and a keeps a clean house. She only speaks ancient Greek and only listens to you if you use perfect grammar. She's very emotionally stable and refuses to argue. People seek her advice on the really important things because they know they can depend on her.
· Mac OS:
She's even tempered and only blows up if you do something really stupid or if there's something seriously wrong with her system. She's beautiful and improves with age. She's very stylish and sets trends. She never lies. She is easy to talk to and you can generally get her to do what you want without much of a fuss. She's a good communicator and likes to talk to friends. She's flexible and likes change. She's always nice to people when they come to visit. People love her when they get to know her and she has devoted friends everywhere. She smiles at you when you turn her on.
· Windows:
She has a nasty temper and often blows up at you for no reason. You have to fight with her to get her to do anything and she insists that you do things the hard way. She's extremely jealous and has been known to slip poison into the drinks of other women who come to visit. She even fights with her friends and it can take hours to get them to listen to each other. Even then, they only recognize each other when they feel like it. She has many psychological problems which carried over from her DOS childhood, although she claims to be over it. Her house is immaculate until you look in the closets and storage spaces where she hides all the crap she doesn't want people to see. Her house is full of nifty appliances and home electronics but you're lucky if you can get anything to work. Nothing in her house is where you would expect it to be; the kitchen is on the roof and the bathroom is through a trap door under a rug. She throws a tantrum if you rearrange the furniture. If she gets really mad she makes you go outside, ring the doorbell and wait for her to calm down and let you back in. She deteriorates with age and gets even more ornery the older she gets.

[Icewolf]

Wow! This hits the spot! k:

Maybe this would work for AntiVirus-programs as well.....?

[Geezer]

Chainsoar, I love it! Do you know how they became the women that they are?



Once upon a time ...



DOS, the Reverend Mother and Patron Saint. Lived in a more innocent time before the populace was tainted by the forbidden fruits of knowledge and power. Lived a simple life farming a small 640k parcel of land and gave all that she could to bring happiness to the people by making them more productive. Her followers were devout and loyal but some became over zealous in their pursuit to spread her teachings and one, in particular, convinced her to expand her teachings and try to reach out to more people. His name was Himem. Himem raised money and purchased more land so that soon the farm reached a full 1024k so that more food could be grown and more poor peasents could be fed through the generosity of Dos.



Dos and Himem fell in love and she gave birth to a daughter and named her OS/2 (another story). As the people's knowledge grew through her teachings they became more sophisticated and demanded more and more knowledge and land in order to build their institutions and factories. Himem became despondent that the innocence of the people had been lost and became ill and soon died.



Another devout follower of Dos was fast becoming a favorite of the people and was reverred as the one who could satisfy the insatiable thirst that the people had for more knowledge and power. His name was EMM386. Dos and EMM386 were eventually to be wed although it was more at the request of the people than out of pure love. They had a daughter and named her Windows. EMM386, under pressure from the people, began to alter the Word that had been the foundation of their society and started preaching new ideas that had conflicted with the Word. Dos became despondent that she had allowed this to happen and became ill and secluded herself from the people while EMM386 and his daughter Windows began to evangalize throughout the land. EMM386 and Windows taught the people of distant lands that existed far outside their 1024k boundaries.



While this was happening OS/2 and Windows could not get along because OS/2 believed more in the traditional teachings while Windows preached that EMM386 and his new ideas were the way of the future. As Windows grew older she became convinced that constant change was necessary in order for their society to achieve the greatness that had become it's destiny. Recognizing that OS/2 was a threat she decided to preach against her and soon the once proud OS/2 was made a mockery by the people.



Eventually Windows became frustrated with EMM386 as he had begun to see the error of Windows ways. He knew she meant well and she wanted her people to become great but he also knew that with the increased knowledge and power would come corruption and greed and that she was not recognizing the damaging effects that those two elements could have on society. Unfortunately, Windows' popularity had grown so with the people that there was no convincing them that it was not in their best interest to embrace the new technology without building the proper defenses. Dos and EMM386 both understood that their new society would be envied and attacked by all those less priviledged societies that lay outside their borders. They pleaded with Windows to slow down on her campaign but failed to convince her that the people were not ready for her vision to become reality. Windows did, however, see the threat from outside their borders and decided to take the battle to them before they could attack her beloved homeland.



To this day the battles rage on. Windows led the people to some great victories and claimed for themselves much territory. She created a monarchy and decreed it to be known as the land of Microsoft. A great battle still rages, however, as the enemies of Microsoft have banded together to form an alliance know as OpenSource and have been following the direction of King Linux from the land of Unix.



Much blood has been spilled in the name of progress. Much more will be spilled in the future. Realizing the mistake they had made a small group of the elder wisemen from the land of Microsoft have begun to restore the now forgotten teachings of the Word and have built shrines to Dos. They are gaining popularity with some of the battle weary citizens who long for the simpler days of their ancestors. Institutions of learning have been constructed to teach the old ways of life; one in the province of Abandonia and one in the town of HOTU. To this day, while Windows is consumed with bolstering her defenses and warding off attacks a small group of unhappy citizens have already begun planting the seeds of the next revolution.

[U-Boat Commander David]

Thats tolly awsome. k:

[Hadiel]

And what about the micro OS-es on certain hardware... do they count too? And if it does then what would they be like ? Midget woman perhaps? Small females living in condo's that are way too small, causing them not to have many room to live in, thus being really slow and such... the people that make a mess when your not at home so you'll end up blaming your kids for it? (dammit, those were lepricons... sorry)

And what about the alternative OS ? Would they be like the Sect-following-not-so-very-standard-lifestyle AKA "i revolt against society" sort of women? Wearing all sorts of strange accesoires just to point out that they are NOT your average female? Tend to dress in Che Guevara-ish clothing (berets, Army pants, the works.)

Hope it's a nice addition to an already great thread. (that's a compliment k: k: up for you previous posters! Keep up the good work!)