«

[Blood-Pigggy]

BIOSHOCK

Would you kindly lick my buttocks?

Welcome to Rapture douchebags!

Bioshock is Ken Levine's attempt to be a clever man. And unbeknownst to him and the gaming community, he has failed miserably. Why is that? Is it because Bioshock is bad? No! It's because in its own attempt to provide commentary on the structure of FPS games, it falls into its own pit. Fraggist hypocritical software.

You star as Jack Whasisname (is there a last name, it is a mystery) taking a trip via plane of the air (AKA an airplane) when all of a sudden something goes awry and he finds himself in the middle of the ocean surrounded by the burning debris of the airplane and an ominous lighthouse looming oppressively a few yards in front of him.
A fancy turn soon takes place as you realize that this lighthouse is a vessel to an underwater world built on the promise of free will and liberal morality. In a quaint little intro segment, you view the underwater city of Rapture through your little "Bathysphere" as Andrew Ryan, the finder of this grand fantastic panstamastic little utopia informs of just how hella fine Rapture is.

Of course, we don't believe that and as soon as things get started everything has already gone to hell and blah, blah, you're stuck in a dark damp unfriendly city full of psychopaths, little girls with monstrous things in diving suits protecting them as they go about their ghastly work, mad geniuses and deception. All of this is thanks to a cool little genetic mutating thing named Adam, which is essentially a sort of biological sandbox juice that allows people to mess with their DNA in order to get funky powers like setting things on fire or electrocuting anything they feel like via abilities known as "plasmids". Naturally, this has the side effect of making everyone crazy nut jobs and to make it all worse there's a political war going on even in the midst of this madness.

It's the kind of plot that's been considered unique for the past five billion years but has been done constantly, y'know? Fortunately, Bioshock spices things up with a nice Art Deco environment and some campy and intentionally cheesy flavor. You'll hear corny ads that sound like they're from early 1900s America, and be subjected to a plethora of fake English accents and overdone Brooklyn voice boxes, just as it should be.
Bizarrely enough, Bioshock actually takes place in the 60s. I rather expected there to be more hippies and fat racists, but instead you're encountering well, no one at all really.
Aside from the general populace of insane plasmid flinging (we'll get to that later) weirdos, you never really meet anyone in Bioshock. Much like its title, this is paying homage to the System Shock series which never really had you meeting anyone face to face.
In fact, it goes beyond paying homage to clearly just grabbing elements from the System Shock series.

I'm all for this, I mean, System Shock is great when you're ignoring the garbled crowd of hardcore-gamer wannabes who label the series as great when in actuality they never even played it, but quite frankly, it's the same thing as John Woo's Strangehold. It's clear that Strangehold was paying homage to Max Payne, since Max Payne was paying homage to John Woo, but it's extremely poor to just rip things off.
Likewise, it's extremely poor to just take things directly from System Shock even if you admit clearly that your game is a spiritual successor to the mentioned series. To add more comparisons, it's like Supreme Commander and Total Annihilation, you're marketing games that seem the same but are in actuality completely different to the same core audience.

Which is a massive mistake, and almost ruined Bioshock for me. You're not going to get anything as deep as Mr. System I Crapped My Pants In Fear And I Only Have Five Ice Picks Left And My Pistol Skill Is Terrible So I Can't Kill These Psychic Monkeys Very Well Shock 2, so don't look for it.

The first thing you'll notice, System Shock fan or not, is that Bioshock is just a shooter with some interesting and prominent additional elements thrown into the mix. Elements that are implemented extremely well to be honest. You've got the regular stuff you'd expect from this sort of homage. You got your hacking, psy abilities (plasmids), weapon upgrading, passive implants (genes/tonics) and so on. There's a good level of customization in Bioshock, even if it's only coming from your play style in general. If you're the kind of guy who likes to hack all the security cameras and gun turrets around because you're afraid that you can't shoot a gun properly, then the placement of security in the game is liberal and sensible enough for you to adapt the hacker gameplay style viably.

You can hack this turret, or you can smack this turret. Aside from making rap lyrics, I am good at telling you at what you can do in this game that I am talking about.

If you're the man who enjoys using your powers to turn enemies against each other or use your abilities to draw enemies into danger, then there are enough interesting plasmids to make this possible. You can attach security "bulls eyes" to enemy which will attract nearby security to them, or you can convince the diving suit monstrosities known as "Big Daddies" with the Hypnotize Big Daddy plasmid into duking it out for you.

Of course, there's the blow everything up route too, which works well as long as you aren't playing on Hard difficulty.

All this works fine and dandy. You've got a good selection of weaponry, which while not the largest variety around, is unique, useful, and each piece serves its own purpose. Your weaponry can be upgraded at upgrade stations spread across the maps, and you have a good amount of choices when it comes to which abilities you want to use.

In fact, there's a nice line drawn between how you want to play and being spread too thin. Aside from smacking the occasional Splicers (the crazies warped from the plasmids and Adam) you'll fight the imposing looking Big Daddies for the most important resource in Bioshock, which is Adam.
The hyped "moral choices" of Bioshock becomes evident in these pursuits of Adam, as you have to choose to either harvest or rescue the little sisters that are protected by the Big Daddies.
This decision is rather pointless though, it's more profitable just to save the damn girls, and the ending isn't as horribly cliched as well. Yep, you may get more Adam from harvesting the girls, but you also get gifts from saving the girls that include plasmids, big chunks of Adam, ammunition and other goodies that serve you much better in the long run.
It's also terribly pointless to amass the Adam from harvesting the girls as any gamer who's conservative with the stuff won't spend it on the variety of plasmids and tonics that are totally useless, and there's quite a few of them. If you haven't noticed by now, you use Adam to buy plasmids and tonics, plasmids being abilities like Telekineses, Incinerate, Electrocute and etc. tonics are passive bonuses and so on that effect certain aspects of the game. Engineering tonics help you towards hacking, whether it be slowing the flow of the Pipe Dream mini game that hacking consists of, or removing alarms that could trigger while you hack. There are Combat tonics which help with combat obviously, better damage resistance or wrench damage and so forth. Then you have your Physical Tonics which have effects like better healing from med-kits or benefits from drinking alcohol or some other nonsense.

It works well, and there are plenty of these plasmids and tonics, but a large variety of them are useless and just seem to be there to fill the game out.
You'll either spend your Adam on maxing out your heath and Eve (the resource required to use plasmids) buying the occasional useful plasmid or tonic, or getting more slots so you can carry more tonics and plasmids with you at once. There was hardly a point where I was actually so bobbed on Adam that I couldn't decide on whether to get a plasmid or more health, as usually getting pummeled by a Big Daddy in two or three hits is enough to convince one to just go for the extra health.

Is it just me, or do these screenshots always look better than the actual game, even when you have an HD TV along with the necessary cables? Yet another reason previews and pre-release screenshots are WORTHLESS!

What this means is that Bioshock is too indecisive on how much freedom the player should have, something that is coming extremely evident in modern gaming. It feels as though the developers didn't want you to suffer too much if you decided not to take a certain branch. You'll ALWAYS have the right plasmids for the right occasion, you'll ALWAYS have enough health and Physical tonics to beat most tough enemies via normal combat. And the auto-hack tools and the simplistic nature of the hacking mini game means that you'll ALWAYS be able to get back-up from the machines you need.
But then you're limited on which of these abilities to get when it doesn't really matter in the end.

[Blood-Pigggy]

It's all a charade. There is no real choice in Bioshock, there is only the good, and the better. You either harvest the Little Sisters for more Adam, or rescue them for the stuff that really matters (did I mention that the evil ending is really cliched and lame), you can either blow something up with tons of med-kits and ammo, or you can kill a Big Daddy in a matter of seconds with security bots and turrets pounding him from every angle as you set him on fire with plasmids.

Much like Oblivion or Mass Effect, games that are actually RPGs, the game doesn't restrict you at all, it only depends on how YOU restrict yourself, which makes the game incredibly lax based on your decisions. You can do practically anything with no consequences. If you want to randomly splurge on plasmids and ignore the urge to go for only the things that will benefit you and your playstyle it won't cripple you at all.
This makes the game very lenient, this makes the game very easy, and what makes this game even easier are those terrible Vita-Chambers.

Relax! RELAX! RELAX GOD DAMMIT GUYS, CALM THE FUDGING QWERTY KEYBOARD DOWN. WE GOT THIS HERE VITA CHAMBER YOU SEE? WE CAN PERPETUALLY REAPPEAR AFTER WE DIE AND BEAT THE WHOLE PRETTY FASCIST ARMY OURSELVES!

Vita-Chambers are little respawn stations. And they are the worst pieces of crap ever. Unlike System Shock 2 where the reassemblers would take a nice chunk off your cash and assorted crap, there's no penalty to death in Bioshock. Unless you're going for the Brass Balls achievement on the 360 version (play through Hard without using a Vita-Chamber) you can essentially just let yourself explode into pieces then become back and gradually chip away at your enemies.
It's very tedious, and once you realize that there's no penalty to getting yourself turned into a sort of slimy custard, you'll soon get bored during the more difficult stages of the game. Boss fights are turned into mere road bumps, simply slowing the pace of the game down. Fortunately, there aren't many of them, but they aren't even that hard in the first place when they aren't just plain stupid.

You know you did something wrong when you yourself place a "Disable Vita-Chamber" option in your game. But then you say, hey, "Why didn't you just use that option?" and I say "Because I don't play a fucking game just to spend my time avoiding the terrible design decisions made by the pork headed developers". As I said before, restriction and proper use of that restriction is the key. You've got some pretty free-form areas in Bioshock, they're structured and unlocked piece by piece, but you can usually go where you want when you want and go back to places you were before. The thing is, too many restrictions are placed on the places you CAN go, and not enough restrictions are placed on the things you can DO. Even if the environments are freeform, you're still following a linear path.

[Blood-Pigggy]

For example, a specific scenario. You're fighting a large group of splicers sent at you via a scripted event. You have a pretty large arena, you can go where-ever you want while you fight these guys, but while fighting this supposedly "difficult" horde, you can just sit there and fire off your pistol while slinging plasmids and letting your hacked security bots drill holes into your enemies. You either walk into a room with a gun and some plasmids, or you walk in with upgraded weapons, a ton of plasmids, security bots, and a hypnotized Big Daddy following you. This in itself isn't bad, and it's awarding you for preparing properly, but it creates a problem when you realize that the entire difficulty of the game is based on whether or not you're lazy.

If you go around doing every single thing to warrant success, then there's no difficulty, but if you go with the bare minimum it's a roast. This seems like a GOOD thing, but the bad thing is that nearly EVERY situation of the game can be presented this way. I hardly broke a sweat on hard mode at all because I could just bolster myself up for each attack. It attributes to the game being too easy.
Once again, like the Vita-Chambers, it's tedious. Before fighting a Big Daddy, get your crap together for 30 minutes, then go kick his ass in some few seconds. It's so ROTE and dull. I want the game to randomly throw in an area with an EMP shield or something that will shutdown my security bots or mess with my plasmids, forcing me to battle my enemies by effectively using the resources I have. NOT amassing a large amount of resources then just unloading it whenever I feel like I might face a challenge.

To be fair, there is one point where your plasmids are on the fritz and you can't actually use the ones you want to at the moment (they switch around randomly) but it's not used in an interesting way. In fact, it's annoying, you fight a few splicers, find an item, and boom, you're back to normal. Instead of taking advantage of this, the developers just made it a passing memory. How about an interesting battle where you have plenty of opportunity to use a large variety of plasmids, but you're only able to use one every random interval because you've been sucked into this unstable condition? It would make the player think, and it would challenge his reflexes both physically and mentally.

What I’d like to cover lastly is the graphics, sound, writing, and etc. They’re the least important to gameplay naturally, but they’ll produce the most enjoyment from Bioshock. You already know about the Art Deco art style, and I’ve already covered how much I love that. I’ve already covered the cheesy sound bits as well, and I’ve mentioned that those are great. The fact is, the overall presentation of Bioshock is fantastic, and it’s enough to elevate the fun yet incredibly questionable gameplay to the point where it’s merely a vessel for Bioshock’s story and surroundings.

This is me in Rapture last summer, as you can see it SUCKED and I hope you ALL DIE IN A FIRE, I had a great time in this beautiful city.

What you get is a great little thriller/horror bit about dangerous politics, exploring the past of yourself and this doomed city, and finding personal gratification at the end of all of it. The twist that comes three quarters through the game is wonderful, and is perfectly done, in fact, Bioshock is the best game since Half-Life and its sequel to place the player in a world and situation where he himself feels like he is going through all of this. You don’t feel like you’re necessarily guiding Jack through the mess, but that you are considered the protagonist. It’s great, and refreshing when games like Halo consistently take you out of the action by reminding you that all those hard ass soldiers are speaking to a corny Doom marine rip-off and not Jim sitting in front of his TV.

[Blood-Pigggy]

You get the requisite amazing lighting, rag-doll effects, great shadows, bump-mapping, smooth and exquisitely grotesque character models and a overall well done art style and environment design. It looks professionally done and it looks like something functional while at the same time retaining the campy early 1900s America feel. The characters feel in place as well, from the paranoid Peach Wilkins who is certain his oppressive ex-employers are still after him, from the regretful Dr. Tenembaum who attempts to find redemption for her past-misdeeds. While you rarely actually see another normal human character aside from the occasionally far away speaker or Little Sister you managed to rescue you’ll constantly find well written audio logs that detail the shenanigans that occurred before your arrival. What’s cool is that much like System Shock 2 you will constantly find audio logs from the same people, who while not always imperative to the storyline, show a great progression of events from Rapture’s beginning to its horrid decline. You’ll find logs of inhabitants who admired the great city, then later on you’ll find logs from the same people who just saw their daughter turned into a Little Sister, logs from the same people after who are desperately trying to get out, logs from people as they consider desperate actions to free themselves and others from Rapture. It’s great, it’s not as great as System Shock 1 or 2 per-se (the comparison is REQUIRED) but it’s still very effective, and the logs are always emotional and exact, although not to the point where they lose all vagueness and just become little blocks of text.
Bioshock has some of the best writing I’ve seen in awhile. While Andrew Ryan’s egotistical and dramatic audio logs may seem cheesy and just the result of the writers being unable to create a layered character, it soon turns out that someone is definitely delusional, and he has changed a lot since the events that created Rapture.
I don’t have to go on any further to say it’s great stuff. The rest of the sound is wonderful as well, Splicers yell out disturbing taunts and pleas, the Big Daddies moan and stomp around with powerful thuds, Little Sisters sing, laugh and emote through innocent yet bizarre little quips that work remarkably well.

My name is ANDREW RYAN. I place UNNESECARY emphasis on completely RANDOM words. My voice seems to CHANGE over the course of the GAME but somehow it still sounds the SAME. What the UNEXPECTED COMMENT.

But there are problems with the presentation, and most of this lies in the usual stuff you’d expect from shooters. The list includes rampant clipping (the rag dolls are especially prone to this), exaggerated physics, texture pop-ups, animation hang-ups and last but not least the horrible bug that causes combat music to repeat endlessly.
It’s not too bad, and it doesn’t really effect the game much, but it still takes you out of the game to see a Splicer’s head popping through a baby carriage spasming wildly. Oh, that’s another problem. Rag doll spasms. They happen ALL the time. You’ll have rag dolls waving their hands at you as they lay on the ground, or rag dolls with their feet warped in strange directions making little semi-circles, it’s weird unintentionally hilarious stuff.

To wrap it up, I would say that Bioshock is a GREAT game on the surface, as long as you just don’t think about the layers underneath that make the game, you’ll have no problem. In fact, that shouldn’t be a hang-up for most people, if you’re a casual gamer or just haven’t looked much into the regular problems of games or the development process, you won’t really notice the things about Bioshock that are inherently stupid. But these problems exist, and they become all too evident in multiple play throughs, and for many will become irritating before they even finish the game for the first time. And the fact is, that while Bioshock has great concepts and has them implemented extremely well, it’s just too easy of a game with not enough restrictions or consequences to make it truly unique. In the end, it’s just another shooter with a memorable presentation that falls down when it tries to be too lenient while providing multiple solutions to common problems.

Therefore I give Bioshock an 7.4 out of 10. Sorry folks, I just couldn’t handle how ambiguously retarded the gameplay was. But I will, and don’t doubt me on this at all, remember this game, fantastic presentation, writing, story, and atmosphere.

Gameplay - 7
Graphics - 9
Sound - 10
Polish - 6
Overall - 7.4

Game Stats
40 Hours Played Total
3 Playthroughs
%100 Achievements
Beat Easy
Beat Normal
Beat Hard

NOTE - Because these boards eat my brain, you might have to click on the Community Reviews forums THEN on the topic, as all the other posts are cut off so that it goes straight to the last one.

[Adamg]

Nice review BP. I didn't like BioShock for a lot of the same reasons. As a matter of fact, I haven't even bothered to finish it yet. But it was a good game in its own right.

[Blood-Pigggy]

Thanks, I do recommend you finish it just to see the good ending, it's rather heartwarming and even though I was totally disappointed by the final boss the good ending kind of makes up for it.

[gufu1992]

Originally Posted by Blood-Pigggy

Thanks, I do recommend you finish it just to see the good ending, it's rather heartwarming and even though I was totally disappointed by the final boss the good ending kind of makes up for it.

"You are either mother Teresa or particepate in baby eating. There should be some middle ground once in a while"

[Blood-Pigggy]

Well it's not like they were promising Ultima's virtue system or something, it's just that the final iteration of their supposed "moral choices" were rather lackluster.

[gufu1992]

Originally Posted by Blood-Pigggy

Well it's not like they were promising Ultima's virtue system or something, it's just that the final iteration of their supposed "moral choices" were rather lackluster.

You do one thing, and the voice is just sad, bad ending. You do more of a thing, bad ending with creepy voice. You don't do those things, and it's a happy ending. Can't I just **** the city and get out?

[Blood-Pigggy]

Did you play the game? There's a very clear explanation as to why you didn't just leave in the first place.

Also, where would you go? Up into the middle of the ocean so you can just die slowly up there? I think the main character would prefer a wrench to the skull rather than die of thirst in the middle of the Atlantic.