14-03-2005, 06:31 PM
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#11 | ||
   Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Dentergem, Belgium
Posts: 1,811
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Another one (Btw... Unknown, that one cracked me up big time
 )Q: How do you keep a programmer in the shower all day? A: Give him a bottle of shampoo which says "lather, rinse, repeat." |
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14-03-2005, 07:14 PM
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#12 | ||
   Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Shella, Kenya
Posts: 576
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Ermmm...:Really funny..... :eeeeeh:
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14-03-2005, 08:20 PM
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#13 | ||
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Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: ,
Posts: 454
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Quote:
Let me C.....computer jokes. We already had them: Jesus and Satan have a discussion as to who is the better programmer. This goes on for a few hours until they come to an agreement to hold a contest, with God as the judge. They set themselves before their computers and begin. They type furiously, lines of code streaming up the screen, for several hours straight. Seconds before the end of the competition, a bolt of lightning strikes, taking out the electricity. Moments later, the power is restored, and God announces the contest is over. He asks Satan to show what he has come up with. Satan is visibly upset, and cries, "I have nothing. I lost it all when the power went out." Very well, then, says God, "let us see if Jesus fared any better." Jesus enters a command, and the screen comes to life in vivid display, the voices of an angelic choir pour forth from the speakers. Satan is astonished. He stutters, "B-b-but how?! I lost everything, yet Jesus' program is intact? How did he do it?" God chuckles, "Everybody knows...Jesus saves." [/b][/quote] LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL This one is great. LOL
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Never mess with me when I have a cougar, Never! |
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15-03-2005, 10:22 PM
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#14 | ||
 Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Aasane, Norway
Posts: 238
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In the beginning was the computer. And God said :Let there be light!
#You have not signed on yet. :God. #Enter user password. :Omniscient. #Password Incorrect. Try again! :Omnipotent. #Password Incorrect. Try again! |
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15-03-2005, 10:28 PM
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#15 | ||
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Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Aasane, Norway
Posts: 238
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At COMDEX Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated: "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon."
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating (by Mr. Welch himself): If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics: * For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day. * Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to buy a new car. * Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just accept this, restart and drive on. * Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn, would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine. * Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but it would only run on five percent of the roads. * The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single "general car default" warning light. * New seats would force everyone to have the same size behind. * The airbag system would say "Are you sure?" before going off. * Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lift the door handle, turn the key, and grab hold of the radio antenna. * GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need them nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the Justice Department. * Everytime GM introduced a new model car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as in the old car. * You'd press the "start" button to shut off the engine. |
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15-03-2005, 10:31 PM
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#16 | ||
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Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Aasane, Norway
Posts: 238
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I just can't stop...
new error messages currently under consideration for the new Windows Longhorn operating system... 1 Smash forehead on keyboard to continue. 2 Press any key to continue or any other key to quit. 3 BREAKFAST.SYS halted... Cereal port not responding. 4 Close your eyes and press escape three times. 5 File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N) 6 Runtime Error 6D at 417A:32CF: Incompetent User. 7 Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue. 8 Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner. 9 Windows message: "Error saving file! Format drive now? (Y/Y)" 10 Windows VirusScan 1.0 - "Windows found: Remove it? (Y/N)" :help: |
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15-03-2005, 10:39 PM
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#17 | ||
 Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Valleyfield, Canada
Posts: 4,892
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This is a good example of very old jokes worked over to fit the current timeline... :whistle:
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16-03-2005, 06:22 AM
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#18 | ||
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Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Dentergem, Belgium
Posts: 1,811
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Quote:
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22-09-2005, 10:08 PM
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#19 | ||
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Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Dentergem, Belgium
Posts: 1,811
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Big, awful threadbump, but couldn't resist, as this one's too damn good
A foo walks into a bar. Asks the bartender: "What're you trying to prove?" :roflol: *dies laughing* :roflol: |
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23-09-2005, 05:47 PM
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#20 | ||
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Nootdorp, Netherlands
Posts: 226
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Error! Keyboard not found. Press F1 to continue...
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Linear Mode
