22-09-2004, 02:54 PM | #131 | ||
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: ,
Posts: 2
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@ Prox
hehe good one. here's a redhead joke: Brunette after sex: "Oh that was great! Love you...wanna marry?" Blonde after sex: "Next!" Redhead after sex: "Better start chewing some VITAMINS, kid. This is just a woman joke (kinda resembles woman back here) : A woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you 3 wishes." The woman freed the frog. The frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes - that whatever you wish for, your exhusband will get 10 times more or better!" The woman said, "That would be okay." For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world. The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your exhusband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis, that women will flock to." The woman replied, "That will be okay because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will only have eyes for me." So, KAZAM - she's the most beautiful woman in the world! For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world and he will be ten times richer than you." The woman said, "That will be okay because what's mine is his and what's his is mine." So, KAZAM she's the richest woman in the world! The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered,"I'd like a mild heart attack." |
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22-09-2004, 04:21 PM | #132 | ||
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: ,
Posts: 8
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lol , and again I got reminded of another joke:
Mujo and Haso were out fishing and Mujo caught a gold fish ( this is becoming a clishey, isn't it ), so the fish says: -If you let me go, I'll grant you three wishes! -No, I'm going to barbecue you!!! -Oh, c'mon bolan Mujo --said Haso-- let the little fishy go, she's not much to eat and, besides, you'll get 3 wishes? -Oh, well, OK! -Excellent --said the fish-- but since Haso was the one to convince you to let me go, he'll get double of what you wish for. -OK, I fish 100 bilion $$$! And he gets his 100 bilion, but Haso gets 200 bilion. -Next, I want three of the worlds sexiest women! And he gets 3 of the worlds sexiest women, but Haso gets 6. -And for my last wish: I want you to cut off one of my balls! ...
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Cosmo Kramer: You know you're not supposed to brush your teeth for 24 hours before you go to the dentist. Jerry Seinfeld: I think you're thinking of 'You're not supposed to eat 24 hours before surgery'. Cosmo Kramer: Oh, you gotta eat before surgery. You need your strength. |
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22-09-2004, 04:41 PM | #133 | ||
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: ,
Posts: 8
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Why does the blonde carry a car door around?
-So she can open it when it's hot I know the joke sux, but I'm all out of blonde jokes...
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Cosmo Kramer: You know you're not supposed to brush your teeth for 24 hours before you go to the dentist. Jerry Seinfeld: I think you're thinking of 'You're not supposed to eat 24 hours before surgery'. Cosmo Kramer: Oh, you gotta eat before surgery. You need your strength. |
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22-09-2004, 05:48 PM | #134 | ||
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A blind makes a journey to Texas. In the airplane he orders a steak and is astonished: "Wow, this steak is enormous!" His seat neighbor calmly: "Everything is large in Texas." When the blind arrives at Texas, he visits immediately the hotel bar and orders a beer. "Man, this cup is gigantic!" The barkeeper answers only: "Everything is large in Texas." A few beers later the guest asks for the toilets. The barkeeper answers: "Second door left." The blind goes off, however misses the second door. He gropes in the third and falls into the hotel's swimmingpool. To death frightened he cries: "Do not rinse! Just do not rinse!"
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22-09-2004, 08:01 PM | #135 | ||
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Norwich, England
Posts: 1,325
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I think you mean "flush", not rinse.
A policeman is driving along at night when he spots a car in a lay-by. Ah-ha, he thinks, someone's had a date that went well. So he went over to the car and there was a man in the front reading a magasine and a young looking girl in the back knitting. "How old are you?" the policeman asks the bloke. "21.", he says. "And how old is she?" The man looks at his watch, "Well, in 10 minutes she'll be 16." |
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22-09-2004, 08:26 PM | #136 | ||
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: ,
Posts: 2
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Lol, handicap and dirty...
@Prox are Mujo and haso common names or just joke names? Youve all propably heard this... but what the hey. President Bush and Colin Powell are sitting in a bar. A guy walks in and asks the barman, "Isn't that Bush and Powell sitting over there?" The barman says, "Yep, that's them." So the guy walks over and says, "Wow, this is a real honor. What are you guys doing in here?" Bush says, "We're planning WW III ". And the guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?" Bush says, "Well, we're going to kill 140 million Iraqis this time and one blonde with big boobs." The guy exclaimed, "A blonde with big boobs? Why kill a blonde with big boobs?" Bush turns to Powell, punches him on the shoulder and says, "See, I told you no one would worry about the 140 million Iraqis!" |
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22-09-2004, 09:40 PM | #137 | ||
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Norwich, England
Posts: 1,325
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I know Red Diablo will like this one :
Two boys are playing in a park in Manchester when a huge doberman attacks one of them. The other boy iinstantly grabs the dog and breaks it's neck. A newspaper reporter sees this a runs over to them. He writes on the notepad a headline, "Manchester United fan saves friend from vicious beast." The boy says "I'm not a Manchester United fan." So the reporter crosses out the first headline and writes "Manchester City fan saves friend from vicious beast." "No, you don't understand, I'm a Liverpool supporter." The reporter writes "Scouse bastard murders family pet." |
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23-09-2004, 06:44 AM | #138 | ||
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Shella, Kenya
Posts: 110
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@ R Havell
ROTFLMAO !!! Btw watch out for Puffin, if she sees this one you'll be in trouble... R Havell for president ! k: |
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23-09-2004, 10:32 AM | #139 | ||
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: ,
Posts: 56
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Why do aborigines (native australians) have piles of shit at the weddings??
to keep the flies of the bride Wat Did the little aboriginie kid Jonny mangagee, son of peter an Flora of the nungar tribe get for his birthday? your bike wat do u call a group of aborigenes in a red beat up volvo? Jaffas Wat do u call a group of aborigines falling of a cliff? a abo-lanche some really dodgy abo jokes k: |
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23-09-2004, 01:36 PM | #140 | ||
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Shella, Kenya
Posts: 968
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I don't really like those jokes about aborigines.....
I prefer the one about swedes |
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