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[Hkizzle]

This is an actual letter sent to a man named Ryan DeVries by the
Michigan Department of Environmental Quality, State of Michigan.

Dear Mr. DeVries:

It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental
Quality that there has been recent unauthorized activity on the above
referenced parcel of property. You have been certified as the legal
landowner and/or contractor who did the following unauthorized
activity: Construction and maintenance of two wood debris dams across
the outlet stream of Spring Pond. A permit must be issued prior to the
start of this type of activity. A review of the Department' s files
shows that no permits have been issued. Therefore, the Department has
determined that this activity is in violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes
and Streams, of the
Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, 451 of the Public
Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Michigan
Compiled Laws, annotated.

The Department has been informed that one or both of the dams
partially failed during a recent rain event, causing debris and
flooding at downstream locations. We find that dams of this nature are
inherently hazardous and cannot be permitted. The Department therefore
orders you to cease and desist all activities at this location, and to
restore the stream to a free-flow condition by removing all wood and
brush forming the dams from the stream channel. All restoration work
shall be completed no later than January 31, 2003.

Please notify this office when the restoration has been completed so
that a follow-up site inspection may be scheduled by our staff.
Failure to comply with this request or any further unauthorized
activity on the site may result in this case being referred for
elevated enforcement action. We anticipate and would appreciate your
full cooperation in this matter.
Please feel free to contact me at this office if you have any
questions.

Sincerely,
David L. Price
District Representative
Land and Water Management Division

---------

This is the actual response he sent back:

Dear Mr. Price,

Re: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Montcalm County.

Your certified letter dated 10/17/02 has been handed to me to respond
to. I am the legal landowner but not the Contractor at 2088 Dagget,
Pierson, Michigan. A couple of beavers are in the (State
unauthorized) process of constructing and maintaining two wood
" debris" dams across the outlet stream of my Spring Pond.

While I did not pay for, authorize, nor supervise their dam project, I
think they would be highly offended that you call their skillful use
of natures building materials " debris." I would like to challenge your
department to attempt to emulate their dam project any time and/or any
place you choose.

I believe I can safely state there is no way you could ever match
their dam skills, their dam resourcefulness, their dam ingenuity,
their dam persistence, their dam determination and/or their dam work
ethic.

As to your request, I do not think the beavers are aware that they
must first fill out a dam permit prior to the start of this type of
dam activity.

My first dam question to you is: (1) Are you trying to discriminate
against my Spring Pond Beavers or (2) do you require all beavers
throughout this State to conform to said dam request? If you are not
discriminating against these particular beavers, through the Freedom
of Information Act, I request completed copies of all those other
applicable beaver dam permits that have been issued. Perhaps we will
see if there really is a dam violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and
Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act
451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113
of the Michigan Compiled Laws, annotated.

I have several concerns. My first concern is -- aren' t the beavers
entitled to legal representation? The Spring Pond Beavers are
financially destitute and are unable to pay for said representation,
so the State wil have to provide them with a dam lawyer. The
Department' s dam concern that either one or both of the dams failed
during a recent rain event
causing flooding is proof that this is a natural occurrence, which the
Department is required to protect.

In other words, we should leave the Spring Pond Beavers alone rather
than harassing them and calling their dam names. If you want the
stream ' restored" to a dam free-flow condition please contact the
Beavers. But if you are going to arrest them, they obviously did not
pay any attention to your dam letter they being unable to read English.

In my humble opinion, the Spring Pond Beavers have a right to build their
unauthorized dams as long as the sky is blue, the grass is green and
water flows downstream. They have more dam rights than I do to live
and enjoy Spring Pond.

If the Department of Natural Resources and Environmental Protection
lives up to its name, it should protect the natural resources
(Beavers) and the environment (Beavers' Dams). So, as far as the
beavers and I are concerned, this dam case can be referred for more
elevated enforcement action right now. Why wait until 1/31/2003?
The Spring Pond Beavers may be under the dam ice then and there will be
no way for you or your dam staff to contact/harass them then.

In conclusion, I would like to bring to your attention to a real
environmental quality (health) problem in the area. It is the bears!
Bears are actually defecating in our woods. I definitely believe you
should be persecuting the defecating bears and leave the beavers alone. If
you are going to investigate the beaver dam, watch your step! (The
bears are not careful where they dump!)

Being unable to comply with your dam request, and being unable to
contact you on your dam answering machine, I am sending this response
to your dam office.

Ryan DeVries

[Danny252]

LMAO
American governmentarial system

[Danny252]

If a king is a man, kings are rulers and rulers are 30 cm high, are you sure he's still a man?

[Sebatianos]

Maybe those 30cm aren't hight... :whistle:

[Danny252]

o..k...
we all wanted that fact, seb, for sure.

[Sebatianos]

OK - back to jokes...

What do you get if you cross a dislectic with an insomniac?
A person who stays awake all night wondering if there is a dog...

[Iron_Scarecrow]

Originally posted by Unknown Hero@Apr 24 2005, 11:26 PM
"Desperation" - A Rope Ends It

"The Morse Code" - Here Come Dots

"Slot Machines" - Cash Lost in 'em

"Mother-in-law" - Woman Hitler

"Alec Guinness" - Genuine Class

"Semolina" - Is No Meal

"The Public Art Galleries" - Large Picture Halls, I Bet

"A Decimal Point" - I'm a Dot in Place

"The Earthquakes" - That Queer Shake

"Eleven plus two" - Twelve plus one

"Contradiction" - Accord not in it

You forgot:

"Jeremy Irons" - Jeremy's Iron

LOL Classic.



Anyway



I was just playing Call of Duty and came across this poor fellow.

[Danny252]

LOL the game has some problems like that, every so often..

[Tulac]

The guy literally put his head into the sand... LOL

[Danny252]

St Mere Eglise in the morning after then tanks came, I assume?