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[Omuletzu]

Like a wise man once said(actually a rap singer ):
Almost all will be forgiven, nothing will be forgotten.
That aside, i tend to be a very forgiving guy(my nature).That is one of the reason why i am such a lousy mod...I generally forgive everything, but i always remember.

[Data]

forgiving someone something is an act to please the offender. as you don't change a thing wether you forgive the offender it.

the point is do you accept the bad things the offender did. Accept them as part of their personality and with this new knowlegde (more parts in their personality) Do you still like that person and do you still want him/her as your friend.

So forgiving doesn't help you. it helps the one who did the bad thing.

[Grinder]

forgiving

If somebody did something-anything- bad to you and shows that he really regrets it,
or asks you to forgive him, that is okay. actually, if someone asks you to frogive him, it is another bad thing not to forgive him.

not forgiving

btw i am raised christian, and imo it is generally not good not to forgive people. you should always be willing to forgive people. but on the other hand, it is often hard to just forgive and forget if somebody, as Kon-Tiki mentioned, did something really bad to you and is proud of it. you just have to not care about that person and remove yourself from his presence. another thing is the differende between forgiving and forgetting. once you have forgiven somebody, it is a lot easier to forget about it. if you see somebody beeing proud of doing bad things to you, you can try to forget it, if forgiving him is too hard.

mercy

with mercy, i totally agree to Kon-Tiki. Sparing someone when punishment is obviously deserved. but having mercy could also be for example when you want to hit somebody who doesn't deserve it and then change your mind, although you could have easily beaten him to a pulp. you could call that mercy.

[Tom Henrik]

Nice topic, Tai.

Unfortunately I have nothing to contribute. I act on what I "see" is the best for every event. I never think ahead, preparing myself for what should be forgiven and what should not. I deal with it when it appears.

Topic is great though.

[ReamusLQ]

I remember the Pope forgiving the guy that shot him in an assassination attempt, and the guy never really felt sorry for it.

I say, forgive them no matter what it is they've done...that way if they aren't sorry or anything, atleast you won't have the burden of hate on your shoulders, and they're the ones that will get screwed in the end

[Sean]

Originally posted by the_fifth_horseman@Mar 30 2005, 07:32 AM
Never forgive, never forget.

There is no mercy, forgiveness nor peace.
Only hatred and vengeance.

Do you always post such trivial answers? :eeeeeh:

[wormpaul]

Originally posted by Omuletzu@Mar 30 2005, 10:19 AM
Like a wise man once said(actually a rap singer ):
Almost all will be forgiven, nothing will be forgotten.
That aside, i tend to be a very forgiving guy(my nature).That is one of the reason why i am such a lousy mod...I generally forgive everything, but i always remember.

The corrs also singed about it

[Lizard]

I simply LOVE how fast you can get offtopic.This is interesting thread and I dont wanna to get it closed :angry:
(did I actually said that :blink: )

[Evad]

ten phases to make peace with anyone.

ten steps to gain forgivness, taken from "make peace with anyone." by david Lieberman

1)three star approach.*
a)have humility/lose ego.
b)show emotion/studies show if you use logic you'll just piss someone off more.
c)show respect/ask to be listened to, and realize no one is obligated to listen to you(especially if you are in the wrong)

2)take full responsibility.*
Don't pass the buck, own evrything you've done, especially the bad stuff. If you take responsibility, it is in your power to restore the balance.

3)sincerely appoligize.*
Don't forget to say the two magic words "I'm sorry."

4)Be willing to accept, and even offer consequences.*
By hurting his/her trust you took power from him/her. You must restore this in some way. sometimes the act of asking their forgivness will work, sometimes more is necessary.

5)Solidify with actions.*
The predictability of your nature may be in question, and this is what most base trust on, so you need to take steps to show that you are willing to change.

6)Re-establish mutual respect.*
Show the person what first attracted them to you as a friend. Show your true character.

7)Restore balance.*
Show the person that whatever it was you did, did nothing for you, and may have in fact put you worse off. Healthy relationships need balance.

8)Establish peace of mind.*
Answer question why, without going to into phsycology. (note: here the author goes into how he believes fear is the henchman of the ego. He suggests you look at all your misdeeds in life, and you will be able to base them off of fear; example:
you steal money cause you are afraid you will work same dead end job all your life and not provide yourself with lyfestyle desired.)

9) Internal justification.*
Try and point out how the relationship will be better,stronger,truer after this altercation. find a positive.

10) Make a plan, and put her/him in control.


this book was an interesting read. :bye:

[taikara]

Holy....

That's exactly what I've been saying to my boyfriends for the past 6 years.

God Bless David Lieberman, for having common sense.

Too bad more people don't catch on