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[Kon-Tiki]

Hey, that's a real thing it used to show up, back on the old 286s :blink:

[Sean]

''Practice Safe Hex Don't Get Viruses''

Not so much a joke, a half grin joke I saw on a t-shirt.

[Toxik]

if operating system were airline:
Windows
The hall is good looking,clean,personnel are nice.you get onboard without any problems,take off-then suddenly without any warning the plane crashes.

Unix
everybody takes a bit of airplane with themselves to the airstrip,where they start building a plane.they keep arguing what type of plane are they building.

NT
Everybody goes to airstrip,say the password-contures of plane appear.then all of them sit down,making noises like they fly

if operating system were like going in a car to shop

MS_DOS
you enter the car and try to remember where are you keys

windows
you enter the car and ride to the shop-very slowly,because you drag a train wagon behind you

Mac,sys 7

you enter the car,wanting to go to shop,but the car takes you to church

Unix
you enter the car,say grapefruit shop the car goes at the speed 250kph,stopping at barbery

windows NT

you enter the car,write a letter like"go to shop".then you get out and send the letter to your car

OS/2
you buy 6000 litres of gasoline,get in car and drive to shop,with motorcycle escort before you and march behind you.in the middle of the way the car explodes,killing everybody

[SupSuper]

Originally posted by Kon-Tiki@Sep 23 2005, 07:59 PM
Hey, that's a real thing it used to show up, back on the old 286s :blink:

Old 286s nothing, it still shows up on today's computers (i.e. mine) :angry:

Microsoft
You have two cows, but you don't own them. They are sick and you spend more on keeping them healthy than you make with them. You are unaware that alternatives exist, and their milk is addictive.

Microsoft Windows
You have two cows and a stupid dog in the corner telling you where to find your damned files. One of your cows has caused a general protection fault and now neither of them will ever produce milk again, even if you kill them and replace them with two brand new cows. The dog never dies.

Linux
You have a million rabbits. They run a lot faster than cows, but aren't as friendly. You can't even give them away. In order to use them, you must RTFM. Similar to GNU. These rabbits are totally convinced that they have surpassed all other cows, of course the Linux are young and mostly unfamiliar with the wisdom of the older breeds, such as the OpenVMS, the Sun, and the AIX. The Linux are flexible and very fast, but they still have much to learn.

Gentoo
You have one cow, which is transsexual.

Apple
You have two cows. They are beautiful and work perfectly, but no one will buy them, probably because their milk isn't compatible with the majority of cereal. They will buy your chicken, however, which helps your stock.

Mac OS X
You have the prettiest two Jersey cows ever seen. They have the shiniest eyes, and can lick their own ears with their tongues. New cowbells are available every month for download. However, manufacturers still only make milking machines for Fresians.

OpenBSD
You have two cows, anyone can do whatever he or she wants with them. People can trample babies with them for all you care. You will never feed them undocumented feed or use undocumented equipment, because you believe in true Freedom.

[Quintopotere]

There are three engineers going by car and at some point the car shuts off without a clare reason.

Immediately the electronical engineer says: I bet that a fusible acted, turning off the electronic circuit! We just have to replace that fusible!

The mechanical engineer, instead says: I'm sure that a mechanism stopped due to lack of lubricant! We have just to wait and replace the lubricant!

Finally the "computer sience" engineer suggest: why don't we get off the car, get back in the car and try to switch on it again?

[_r.u.s.s.]

have u ever seen this joke?



ASUS repair kit

[The Fifth Horseman]

Best joke I ever made to myself:

Spending 4 hours trying to fix a bugged script, reading it ten times over and every time forgetting that "Call Label" remembers the position in the datafile, to where it returns when "Return Call" is used, when you have used these commands countless times before.

That happened to me just yesterday.

[win98]

this joke is bad but i shall post it why did the programmer ask to live next to the debuger
a so he could debug his own work i knbow it's crap but i am in a funny mood today

[win98]

2 error messages my mate who got windows loghorn beta had
in windows disk defragmenter windows found remove it rewinstall it or destroy your copy of it
starting windows keyboard not found go stick the keyboard to your head so you remember to plug it in to pc
i know theses are fake but if they were reall wow things would get out of hand

[Dino]

Originally posted by win98@Sep 27 2005, 08:03 PM
2 error messages my mate who got windows loghorn beta had
in windows disk defragmenter windows found remove it rewinstall it or destroy your copy of it
starting windows keyboard not found go stick the keyboard to your head so you remember to plug it in to pc
i know theses are fake but if they were reall wow things would get out of hand

I know I said it before, but lack of any interpunction whatsoever in your posts makes an art out of correctly understanding them.