26-09-2004, 08:44 AM
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#161 | ||
    Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Shella, Kenya
Posts: 968
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Quote:
:bleh: :bleh: :bleh: :bleh: :bleh: |
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26-09-2004, 09:23 AM
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#162 | ||
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That mustache looks pretty falsificated.
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26-09-2004, 09:35 AM
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#163 | ||
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Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Shella, Kenya
Posts: 968
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Nooooooh...... :angel:
Bill Gates died in a car accident. He immediately found himself in purgatory, being sized up by St. Peter. "Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call; I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you enormously helped society by putting a computer in almost every home in America, yet you also created that ghastly Windows '95. I'm going to do something I've never done before. In your case, I'm going to let you decide where you want to go." Bill replied, "Well, what's the difference between the two?" St. Peter said, "I'm willing to let you visit both places briefly, if it will help your decision." "Fine, but where should I go first?" "I'll leave that up to you." "Okay then," said Bill. "Let's try Hell first." So Bill went to Hell. It was a beautiful, clean, sandy beach with clear waters and lots of bikini-clad women running around, playing in the water, laughing and frolicking about. The sun was shining; the temperature perfect. He was very pleased. "This is great!" he told St. Peter. "If this is hell, I REALLY want to see heaven!" "Fine," said St. Peter, and off they went. Heaven was a place high in the clouds, with angels drifting about, playing harps and singing. It was nice, but not as enticing as Hell. Bill thought for a quick minute, and rendered his decision. "Hmmm. I think I'd prefer Hell," he told St. Peter. "Fine," retorted St. Peter, "as you desire." So Bill Gates went to Hell. Two weeks later, St. Peter decided to check on the late billionaire to see how he was doing in Hell. When he got there, he found Bill, shackled to a wall screaming amongst hot flames in dark caves, being burned and tortured by demons. "How's everything going?" he asked Bill. Bill responded, with his voice filled with anguish and disappointment, "This is awful! This is nothing like the Hell I visited two weeks ago! I can't believe this is happening! What happened to that other place, with the beautiful beaches, the scantily-clad women playing in the water?!???" "That was a demo," replied St. Peter. |
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26-09-2004, 02:32 PM
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#164 | ||
 Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Split, Croatia
Posts: 1,028
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Two guys are arguing:
A: Your momma is fat as pig! B: Your momma is even fatter. If you want to see the picture of her that you took, you first have to compress it with winzip! |
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26-09-2004, 02:47 PM
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#165 | ||
 Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: ,
Posts: 8
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I know a couple of Jew jokes, but their pretty disguisting, so I'll just start with (in my opinion) the lest disguisting:
Hitler is standing on an edge of a cliff and a couple of Germans bring him a Jew. -Spread your legs! -- says Hitler, and the Jew does so, and befor you know it, Hitler pushes the Jew off the cliff. So the Germans bring him another Jew. -Form a T-shape! -- says Hitler, and the Jew does so, and befor you know it, Hitler pushes the Jew off the cliff. A couple of minutes (and Jews) later, Hitler hears a voice: -Adolf, honey, breakfast is ready, stop playing TETRIS with the Jews and come and eat already!
__________________
Cosmo Kramer: You know you're not supposed to brush your teeth for 24 hours before you go to the dentist. Jerry Seinfeld: I think you're thinking of 'You're not supposed to eat 24 hours before surgery'. Cosmo Kramer: Oh, you gotta eat before surgery. You need your strength. |
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26-09-2004, 06:32 PM
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#166 | ||
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Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: ,
Posts: 2
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What's yellow, smell's of urine and flying trough the air? Unknown Hero. (When i catch him...) :twisted: :angel: |
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26-09-2004, 06:39 PM
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#167 | ||
 Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Aasane, Norway
Posts: 238
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Quote:
LOL  |
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26-09-2004, 06:59 PM
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#169 | ||
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Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Aasane, Norway
Posts: 238
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As long as he ain't taking a dump!
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26-09-2004, 07:36 PM
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#170 | ||
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Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Shella, Kenya
Posts: 110
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Quote:
Quote:
Name That Beard Check out the last one... Looks a little like you TheVoid, only in a handsome sort of way...  :P |
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