Well, guess what happened to me this year? I got used!
Actually, it's my own fault that that Laura loser used me, for I kept on being a wimp. She's the only girlfriend I've ever had. I never saw her for nearly 7 years and I busted my ass to find her, only to get used and bullied. At 27 years of age, how can one really be bullied by a cow, you say? Well, it still occurs. In my case, I was sort of smitten for her. Sad as that sounds.
Read on:
http://www.relationshiptalk.net/how-...er-426756.html
http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/in...s-gold-digger/
It's also too bad that there are rules to follow regarding dating your support workers, too. Like nobody can date their carers and they're my whole life, it seems. My Spanish key worker is beautiful, but when hell freezes over, she'll date me. But only when hell has frozen over. Now, I don't socialize outside at all. It's hard enough when you are 'normal' and capable trying to mingle with folk that are total strangers, but chuck in a disability and average looks, and in today's world, you will amount to nothing. Sure, self-worth, confidence, blah, blah, blah. Does that even help?
I haven't the foggiest idea where to start looking for friends, but I know that dating support people isn't allowed at all. It's a law made to protect vulnerable clients from committing unprofessional conduct and vice versa. Actually, I could go out if I wanted to. After all, I'm a free man. But my anxiety gets in the way. You know how when your personal space is being invaded, you get those burning hot flushes and feel like you need to run the heck away. That in my case just increases my nervousness and could bring forth a panic attack. So you get trapped in that cycle of hiding in the shadows.
You see, years ago, I never suffered from anxiety and I was keen to do things. Then a lot of personal stuff happened that messed me up inside, so I started living in the past over it and thinking I'd never be able to do anything. I still kind of feel this way. Like every year, it just really sucks, so I want to rush all the months away until the new year starts. Then I often get OCD like mixed feelings, because if January is awful, I end up assuming every other month will turn out poorly too. It usually does anyway.
That's why I spend my ENTIRE free time on the Internet instead, but even that creates issues. I'm really unsure of how to act around new faces or what things to talk about in real-life and even when I go online. So because I got angry over my life sucking and I posted a photo of this Joanna person on Facebook in a rage, she's been taken off my (already relatively short) support team by her bosses.
You see, I used to work with MANY support workers, but it got to a point where there was too many people around the office next door to where I am situated, so everybody was moved into teams to make their work more manageable. Now it's like this: Musselburgh, Melville, Blackfriars and Holy Corner. I'm in the smallest team, which is Blackfriars, because it's where I stay. The people in the other teams just work in those areas now, so I really miss having them for support shifts. The only time I see them is if I go next door to ask about something and some of these workers happen to be there, but usually it's just a quick hi then bye, as everyone is so busy and waiting to use a computer.
I basically get several allocated hours every week for to tidy up my house, cook meals and do fun stuff with support workers, but I miss the people I worked with before. I just get 'Blackfriars' staff now.
Anyway, because I have autism, I live in a flat which has other autistic people. It's independent living with support people working next door and somebody does a sleep over each day. I'm upset that they took that girl off my team and they used to think I fancied this Ruth chick too. Well, she was hot.