Play, friend, do not despare. I haven't much time to go into detail, so I'll post a complete reply later (or maybe even through PM), but I just want you to know something that life is a very strange and often cruel adventure. One you simly have to stick out 'till the end to really enjoy. You are at a very difficult stage obviously, but hiding from problems and pain (yes, killing yourself is nothing the running and trying to hide) can not be the solution. The worst thing that can happen to somebody is to loose hope, so do not despair.
Sorry for the shallownes of this post, I will give you my full reply later on today (I promise).
I know this may seem like only a feible attempt of comforting, but here goes:
For Play(ing)
BTW: Are Gabi and Edina the same person (or were there more girls you've met there and had such an experiance with)?