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So, the fact that there's such a ginormous gap between the relative power of equal level characters is totally ok? I lost count of how many times wizards made my fighters obsolete.
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Mages should rather make stronger magic items so you
don't get obsolete.
Also, mages who use spells to "break the game" (and it is easily possible) is usually heavily frowned by DMs.
Alsox2... RP is supposed to balance everything out in the game. If you don't play a RP heavy game then of course you're going to feel like you're dragging the team down because you're not doing what you are supposed to do. The mechanics of 3rd edition were never built without RP in mind.