In a little apartment just above the drug store lived a young man, who was unable to get a date. He was browsing the net some day and found a site that really apealed to him: Make the person of your choise fall in love with you!
He read the whole thing through and found the recepy he was looking for - Love potion #666.
That night he broke into the drug store and stole all the engredians necesarry to prepare the potion.
The little bottle started bubbling and red fumes started comming out as he poured the last drops of H3PO4 in it and the mixture was ready.
"Funny" he thought, "why does it smell like soulphor. I haven't added any."
So he drank the potion and the site said that whenever he wants someone to fall in love with him, the other person has to just smell his breath.
He went out the very next evening to get a girl of his dreams.
At the bar he saw a long legged blonde with a big front and walked towards her. The only problem was - he got nervous, and although he was sure the love potion would work, he also knew that whenever he's nervous he starts farthing!
And sure enough - he farted. And boy was it loud - and it actually hurt his buttocs. He felt some fumes coming out, but thought it was the chilli he had earlier.
But everybody was watching him and all of a sudden a man behind him started coughing and fell to the ground.
That man turned green and started puking all over the plase. He puked so hard he died on the spot!
Needless to say any chances of a date were over, so our poor little dateless guy went for a walk in the park.
"Strange, I'm not nervous, but I've this weird feeling, like I have to fart again."
So he did - and this time it was even stronger and he felt even more pain. He got scared when he saw the leaves fall of the tree and it was late in the spring. He realized that it was him who killed the man in the bar with his fart!
He ran home and read the site again - all he got this time was a flashing warning saying side effects to potion #666: "Your body will start leaking deadly fumes and worse. Just you wait and see. This is what you get for playingwith magic - sucker!"
And sure enough he farted again - and flames started shooting out of his behind.
He just couldn't stop farting and a little gremlin climed out off his behind.
He was reeally scared - not to mention in extreme pain - but when he saw the Gremlin he knew that there was more to come - he had a gut feeling let's say.
The Gremlin jumped out the window and emediatly you could hear mahem.
no telling what's up nekt - but we'll find out soon enough, becaus the poor guy has to fart again.
He's so scared of it, that he takes a cork and sticke it in the Canalis Analis, wishing it would help.
Nope - the farth is there. It's loud as thundera and foul smelling like a ton of dead rats on a hot summers day!
A head came out of his behind and it was Satan himself. The guy started squizzing his buttocks together not to let ge Devil out, but he had to fart again. He was holding it so much, but now, he, he
The guy exploded and the world was saved, but the story lives on, to warn us of those deadly chemical gasses and the things that follow next.
(OK - I'm half asleep, so you better like the story - even if it's not scary enough... at all)